<p>I would echo the comment about also looking an an order. What exactly appeals to him about being a priest - the parish relations side or the educator side? If the former, the diocese connection is one way, although many order do staff local churches. If he wants to get into education, getting the degree on his own, they applying to an order is probably the better route. (FYI - good friend went to Harvard, majored in Greek & Latin, then became a Jesuit & now teaches at the Jesuit HS he attended).</p>
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<p>I’m not in favor of teaching religious/faith based education to immature mind. Once a child is fully matured and have experienced the real life and comes to a realization of any meaningful values in a religious or faith views, [s]he can then take up these studies.</p>
<p>A high school child’s exposure to a religion is forced upon by the parent and based on that the child should not go into religious/faith studies.</p>
<p>DS didn’t pick up this faith on his own, he inherited the faith [I dislike this idea, faith/religion is not a thing to be inherited.]</p>
<p>I think it’s not the correct approach. Correct approach is to leave children out of religion/faith views [ brain washing]. If these children wants to practice a faith/religion as adults then it’s fine and they should have freedom to do so but the faith/religion should not be forced upon by parent. </p>
<p>Caveat: These are my personal views don’t bang on me if you don’t like these.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing your views, IvyHope. Obviously this is not the usual procedure in our religion, but I fully understand where you are coming from. </p>
<p>My thanks to all those posters wishing DS the best. Obviously, as his parents, we have to try to do what is best for him and be prepared for the possibility that he may take some other direction at some point in the future. We are proud of what he has done thus far.</p>
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<p>I had the same thought. I think it’s possible to be both respectful and firm with older people when it comes to boundaries. They are just as capable of respecting them as anyone else, but like all boundaries, the person setting them must be completely committed to it-if you bow to pressure, things won’t change.</p>
<p>*I’m not in favor of teaching religious/faith based education to immature mind. Once a child is fully matured and have experienced the real life and comes to a realization of any meaningful values in a religious or faith views, [s]he can then take up these studies.
*</p>
<p>that’s fine for you.</p>
<p>However, in the Catholic faith, as parents we have an obligation to share/teach our faith to our children. The Church considers the parents as having the primary responsibility for their children’s education. And…since the Catholic faith is not a “quick learn,” it makes sense to teach it in little bits as a child ages. It’s kind of like teaching math…you can’t just pick it all up in a short time…you start with the basics and build upon that.</p>
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<p>I think that is a common problem with all religion/faith and forces every participant to become a teacher and preach it to their children. </p>
<p>That’s where my whole objection lies. Children mind are like blank hard disc, what ever is taught get stored without any processing.</p>
<p>It is good to teach life skills, reading, math and writing but not religion or faith as its not objective.</p>
<p>In math 2 + 2 is 4 whether you teach it or it is taught by any other teacher on this planet.</p>
<p>Religion/faith is not same, it is different coming from different person, so it should not be something that is taught to children because they can’t distinguish whether the idea is good or bad and by the time they are adult most are brain washed to think in a particular way and it’s not possible for them to escape.</p>
<p>POIH, you are entitled to your opinion but it is irrelevant to this thread. The OP isn’t talking about teaching religion to an elementary schooler. She’s talking about how to handle people’s reactions to her 18 year old son - who is a young adult - who has decided to become a priest. People wouldn’t be second-guessing that he was old enough to know what his career goal was if he wanted to be an engineer or a doctor.</p>
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What about teaching values, manners, good behaviors, etc. though? Those are certainly not “objective” either, but I would not choose to be around a kid who had none.</p>
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<p>No, that’s not true, pick up any thread that has children targeting direct MD program, the general suggestive advice is to go to college with broader option because student change mind and so change major.</p>
<p>Once into the seminary there is no change to non-priest hood so that is why the suggestion was made to do a generic undergrad away from the religious influence. If DS still think that’s the way to go with his life well and good. </p>
<p>I don’t think 4 years will make a difference to a priest hood career.</p>
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<p>I think the good values, behaviors are also universal with some variations but are not rigid. I’m not saying to leave children without inculcating any good values.
But the view that good values only comes with religious/faith view is misnomer.</p>
<p>Religious/faith teaching are rigid and that’s why should not be taught.</p>
<p>Well…you’re entitled to your opinion POIH, but this isn’t the thread for it. </p>
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<p>The decision to study for the priesthood is not irrevocable. He’s not going to be ordained for quite some time. LOTS of men leave the seminary. It’s perfectly acceptable to do so before one takes vows–and that won’t happen for some years. It’s even common for some men to take a year or two off from the seminary to work or do something else before making the commitment. </p>
<p>Would you object if someone wanted to go to a military academy? In some ways, it’s a similar experience. While I doubt many people enroll in a military academy intending to quit, a fair number of people decide before they get to the point that they MUST go into the service that the life isn’t for them, after all. </p>
<p>He shall have several years of study before he take vows. He can change his mind.</p>
<p>jonri – There’s tons of people telling kids not to join the military…academy or no. When my D told some relatives about her dream, they said ‘you want to kill people?’ Or the other response: I wouldn’t work for <em>this</em> government! (Repeated regardless of the political climate, mind.) </p>
<p>There’s always someone eager to pour arsenic in the punchbowl of your dreams!</p>
<p>*It is good to teach life skills, reading, math and writing but not religion or faith as its not objective.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>As parents we teach all kinds of things that aren’t objective… You and your wife probably have not been perfect in only teaching objective things to your child. My H’s sister’s husband used to have the same religion argument that you’ve presented, but then I pointed out that he teaches his kids his political beliefs…which certainly aren’t objective.</p>
<p>But, that’s not the point of this thread. If you want to argue your point, start a thread dealing with that.</p>
<p>*Once into the seminary there is no change to non-priest hood *</p>
<p>Not an objective statement…simply because the statement isn’t true.</p>
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<p>I speak for myself and not DW because my views regarding upbringing are sometime in conflict with DW too. I’ve tried to be very objective while raising DD.</p>
<p>I might be different from your H’s BIL because I’ve never taught DD my political beliefs too. I’m actually not in favor of teaching things that I want DD to have opinion about. I would like her to explore the political world if interested and make her own opinion. There are some things that belongs to an individual and make them individual.</p>
<p>I don’t want to raise another POIH, I want DD to be herself.</p>
<p>That’s why this idea didn’t sync with me.</p>
<p>Lets keep this thread on topic. Agree that this topic is about helping the OP with a meddling, unsupportive grandparent. Seems some of the feedback that is being given here… eg “thank you for your opinion, but this isn’t the place for it” can perhaps be used with the meddling grandmother. JMO</p>
<p>Just have to say - I love this phrase: “There’s always someone eager to pour arsenic in the punchbowl of your dreams!”</p>
<p>Sylvan - I also have to say that I admire your son’s obvious determination in the face of discouragement. I was raised Protestant and am still very involved in my church, and I think the priesthood is an admirable profession (difficult, but very admirable!) Best of luck to your son and your family.</p>
<p>I think once the son is in the program, the grandparents’ comments will end. I think they will soon go from “My grandson should be doing _______________” …to…“My grandson is going to be a priest” (then you hit them up to buy the chalice. 
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<p>Yesterday I rn into a family that I use to know well. The youngest wants to be a Rabbi–the educational kind, not pulpit, his mom rushed to say. They feel a great deal of pride in this choice.</p>
<p>I can imagine some sadness on parents and grandparents part if the child was considering priesthood, as an end to dreams of grandchildren.</p>
<p>Sylvan–I want to add, congratulations & my best wishes to you & your son and also to his grandparents. Mom2collegekids is right! The grands will be boasting in no time.</p>
<p>I am Catholic too. My thoughts were, as I skimmed these posts, that the diocese seemed to be putting the young men into a box pretty quickly, at only 17 or 18— and handing you the bill. I know several priests who were older when they realized their calling—one an Air Force vet — and when they approached their diooceses there was no turning up of noses just because they had been doing something else, or gone to a different college, before they called the vocations office. </p>
<p>I’m not suggesting your son should join the Air Force! But it seems to me that some time experiencing non-diocesan courses, thoughts, adults, etc might be better for his formation as a future pastor. If it was my own son I would be putting these thoughts to him. There will be years to be a diocesan student, then priest — a little time not totally in their sphere might make him a better priest in the long run. </p>
<p>I would have been suggesting the orders, too. But primarily because we have a heck of a lot of Jesuits in the family! : – ) </p>
<p>God bless you & your son!</p>
<p>POIH, I understand your point of view, but if the parents have a faith that they practice, it is virtually impossible to enforce. If parents go to church, they take their kids. If parents believe in the importance of baptism/naming/circumcision/whatever, they will perform that ritual for their children. If parents believe in keeping kosher, well, that’s what their kids will eat. And the children will ask why.</p>
<p>In the seminal prayer in Judaism, the Torah commands, “And these words which I command you today shall be upon your heart. You shall teach them thoroughly to your children, and you shall speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road, when you lie down and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be for a reminder between your eyes. And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and upon your gates.”</p>
<p>If the parents believe, then they cannot fail to teach their children.</p>
<p>Your way works only if the parents belong to no organized religion.</p>