I was injured at school on Monday. I work in a middle school, and an eighth grade boy hugged me from behind, picking me up and swinging me back and forth. I felt/heard crunching noises and my vision blurred. It was witnessed by 30 students and another teacher. The principal was out sick that day and the assistant principal and school safety officer took our statements. No one disputes what happened. No one says there was malice intended, he did it 1. To be funny 2. He likes me. The AP indicated the student would get 10 days of out of school suspension with recommendation to alternative ed for the rest of the year. I felt a little bad about that since this kid has a long discipline record and to go to alt ed for over-hugging seemed like sending Al Capone away for tax evasion.
I went for X rays and my ribs are not broken. I am on Vicodin, prescription strength Motrin, and muscle relaxants. The doctor suggested three days off but I thought I was good to go. I went today and ended up taking my bra off at lunch I was in so much pain. I made it to the end of the day.
The principal came back today and the student will be suspended for three days. I will be on painkillers for at least a week, more likely two, and he will be out for THREE days. I asked the AP why and he said the principal got involved. I have passed the principal in the hallway four times today and she did not speak to me.
I am at a loss. While I didn’t want the kid punished harshly, three days is practically telling him it’s OK. I know I should talk to the principal, but please help me plan what to say.
I am sorry you got hurt and hope you feel better soon. At the same time, I am confused as to why you think the student should be punished. He didn’t do it intentionally. He didn’t know you were going to be hurt. It was unintentional. I don’t even know why he was suspended for 3 days. I thought your post was going to be about how you could get him off the suspension.
Sorry, but if the intent wasn’t there and the child is special needs, you don’t have a prayer. There are rules about how long a child can be suspended before the public school forks over money to move them elsewhere. Ten days generally equals the school having to pay for another learning environment.
YOU need to file for workman’s comp ASAP. YOU were injured on the job. Blaming the child and wanting him punished is immaterial. What is material is that YOU assume that you’ll “be fine in a week” and you don’t know that. X-rays are bumpkus if you have a slipped disk or spine injury.
You don’t know that. You need to file for workman’s comp and be off from work. They will likely assign a workman’s comp doctor to corroborate your doctor’s findings. It is alarming how you describe the incident, and it is possible though a remote chance that you injured a vertebrae.
You owe it to yourself to stop worrying about the situation, unless you are TRULY afraid of this child and then you do need to talk to the principal about at least moving him out of your class. Worry about your health and heading off any future effects by making sure it is all on the school’s dime.
And are you saying that taking away Al Capone for tax evasion was a bad thing?
PS - I’m sorry this happened to you - I teach college and sometimes I fear for my safety based on how a student acts towards me. One of my colleagues had a piece of metal thrown at him and it barely missed and clanged off the blackboard. We get NO special training for psych issues in students, and that concerns me a lot.
oldfort- He most certainly did hug me intentionally. He didn’t mean to hurt me but an 8th grader knows he cannot put his hands on anyone, and that includes teachers. Most of the bad things that happen in middle school start with the words “I thought it would be funny”. This type of thing is thoroughly covered with them at the beginning of the school year and again at midterm.
rhandco- Child is not special needs. Our alt ed is within the school district, which I’m sure costs more per student but is nothing like paying tuition for private placement.
My medical visit was covered by workman’s comp. The doctor’s findings were filed with appropriate school authorities BUT time off, even when caused by a workman’s comp injury, is taken from my banked sick days.
I’m glad Al Capone was sent to prison for any reason, it’s just he did far worse things. This kid has a very long discipline record.
I have a friend who is an AP at one of my district’s high schools and she gave a girl long-term suspension for merely pushing past a teacher during an altercation. Any physical contact is considered assault, as the school safety officer told me several times. Assault has nothing to do with intent, according to him.
My whole point here is that this kid is skipping his way home tonight, pleased as punch that he will stay home, sleep late, and have three days off. No harm, no foul, as far as he is concerned. He will probably handle me with care if he decides to do it again. It would be a stretch to say I am afraid of him. I will be far more aware of where he is at all times now.
When my kids were in secondary school, they hugged their teachers and I also hugged their teachers sometimes. I don’t remember seeing it in their handbag that they couldn’t hug their teachers. If the kid had purposely damaged your chair so you would fall because he thought it would be funny then yes, I think the kid should be punished. But hugging someone is a fairly normal way for people to show affection, not malice. If this were to be teaching moment, would it be just as effective to let him know you were hurt by what he did and he should be more careful next time?
Hugs are absolutely allowed. I’m perhaps not making myself clear. He approached me from behind, wrapping his arms around me from the back so that his fists met under my left breast. He then lifted me off the floor. My feet were dangling. He then swung me back and forth several times, from left to right, as far as his arms would swing. This was showing off and acting up. Yes, he likes me and that is why he did it with me. It was not a show of affection.
I am a petite woman and I’ve had men pick me up like that to be funny when I was younger (and cuter). As much as I didn’t like it, I didn’t think they were trying to hurt me. I usually told them right away that I didn’t like it and they stopped after I told them. This is just me, and you are certainly free to feel however you want…if this was a repeated action after you’ve told him to stop then I would taker a harsher stand, but I think he probably didn’t know his own strength and didn’t intend to hurt you.
How did he feel after you were hurt? Did he apologize?
The situation sounds like potentially a no win for you. What had been done to you was not appropriate (of course) actually disrespectful and humiliating in that it may have undermined your position of leadership with the other students.
Depending upon the school or district and the protocols and the ego’s involved you definitely could be in a very poor position. Would you be perceived as questioning your Principal or their authority? As someone who is being to hard on the student? I don’t know the environment there so it is difficult to suggest what to do.
I would speak with the Principal and at the very least would likely request that the student be removed from your class. They hurt you and whether intended or not, they hurt you and that is not okay. By having them removed from your class you are sending the student a message that what they did is not okay, they cannot physically hurt someone and directly or indirectly undermine the role that you have with the other students.
You have to navigate the politics and perceptions of these things and arrive at something that is comfortable for you. As an aside but equally as important it needs to be clear to students that putting your hands on someone in that manner is really not okay, the gender piece, male doing this to a female is really not okay. If he is doing this to someone in your position, how physical is he being with female classmates?
It seems like you’re conflicted - you recognize he didn’t mean ill will and you don’t want the book thrown at him, but you want an apology (which is fair). Suspending him longer won’t make your pain go away.
I don’t think you should have gone back to school so soon. I also think the days away should not be taken from your sick leave. This is a workers comp issue, pure and simple.
Yes, definitely a worker’s comp issue and you should see if you need physical therapy and other measures to help reduce pain. Sometimes scary injuries can’t be readily seen but can still cause a LOT of pain, as you sadly have experienced.
I’m very sorry you were injured, and very sorry that you are not comfortable with this student. You need to feel safe at work. I have no advice, other than what has been suggested here.
ETA: Your original post asked for advice speaking to the principal because you feel his three-day suspension is too lenient. I think that fact that you are not only injured but also afraid gives you ample reason to discuss this with the principal. At this point, however, I don’t think the principal will change his/her determination. After all, it was already changed from the original 10 days down to three. To increase the suspension is unlikely, but I think you need to get your point of view on record. It’s the fact that you are afraid of this kid now that worries me.
First off, thank you to all of you. You are helping me to figure this out because I know I sound contradictory about some things.
He was entirely inappropriate. He did undermine my authority in the classroom and has shown no remorse. He has told me before he likes to be suspended and get the time off.
He didn’t mean to hurt me. On the other hand, this was not affection. This was showing off and acting up. He impulse control is not all it should be and when he entered the classroom and my back was to him he made a bad choice.
The AP told me he was looking at 10 days out, with possible alt ed after that. As early as this morning, the AP told me that he’d talked to the kid’s dad and told him that. He said he just had to cross his t’s and dot his i’s as far as documentation went.
The principal walked by me four times today without speaking to me, which is odd except she is socially inept.
At the end of the day I found out about his three days the same way everyone else did, by email asking for work to send home with him (which he will not do). When I went to the AP and asked why the 10 days were down to three, he said the principal got involved. He added that it was reasonable for this offense at a middle school level. I was in his office when he called our central office to make sure the 10 days was reasonable and they said it was. The principal clearly wanted this limited to three days, but she has never spoken to me in any way about it.
Three days at my school is typical for a pushing/shoving incident. Throwing food in the lunchroom, cussing at a teacher. I want to talk to the principal and ask her why my ribs mean so little to her. But that sounds really dumb.
I hate using my sick leave for this but that’s the way it is. My husband has some medical stuff coming up and I will need my banked days. My ribs are still really painful and I can hear the crunchy sounds when I move the wrong way.
If you haven’t already seen an orthopedist, it might be a good idea to get their take on this. One to two weeks on pain meds of that type seems very significant. I have had two complex ortho surgeries with less pain management needs and then those crunching sounds…
I hope you fell better soon. First, take care of yourself and don’t predict or assume your course of recovery. Sometimes one is surprised in either direction. It may be easier to not have to undo professional expectations.
Why does it matter that he has a disciplinary record? He’s not being punished for those offenses, he’s being punished for this one. I suspect he got 3 days of suspension, instead of 10 days and 4 months of “alternative ed,” because he didn’t intend to hurt you. If 10 days suspension & “alternative ed” are the punishment for causing unintentional harm, what punishment will your district dole out for intentional offenses? You need to be able to clarify what you want to your principal and explain why you want it.
My husband is in construction and sometimes tweaks his back. When his doctor puts him on Vicodin, prescription pain killers, and muscle relaxers and advises him to stay home, it’s (a) to give him a chance to heal and (b) to prevent further injury. It’s a pretty potent mix of medications and my husband is particularly careful when he’s on them because of how easy it is to aggravate the original injury without realizing it. He won’t drive on them either. It’s too bad you didn’t follow your doctor’s advice to take a few days off. I’d file for workman’s comp and I wouldn’t go back to work until your doctor clears you to return.