<p>But he doesn’t have a passion for the subject. Got another reason?</p>
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<p>Possibilities off the top of my head include being caught up in the Nerd oneupsmanship* among academically nerd peers and/or the perception of future riches**.</p>
<ul>
<li>A.K.A. I must major in engineering to prove how supersmart and nerdy I am! Very common at our public magnet high school.</li>
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<p>** Tends to prompt a good laugh from those of us who are engineers/CS folks or who worked in the field.</p>
<p>To please mother?</p>
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<p>I sincerely hope not. They tend to not last very long in engineering or other hard pre-professional majors…if they’re lucky. </p>
<p>If not, they could end up like my pharmacy date who is bemoaning being in a career she hates, but feels trapped because of the extreme specialization of her education and I surmise the “golden handcuffs”. Only thing was…her parents didn’t force her…she did it on the assumption it will be pleasing to parents and a good career for her. Only thing was…the latter didn’t pan out.</p>
<p>I know literally dozens of people in science and math careers who, in their forties, wake up and decide they would have preferred to be photographers, social workers, psychologists, chaplains, writers, etc. Dozens. Very few of them make the switch, mostly because of fear.</p>
<p>Now, midlife crises in our culture seem to be quite common, if not normal. But the thing is, most of them tell me they knew, in their teens, that they wanted to be these things, but were imprisoned by their successes. They were rewarded for their success in science and math, and hence did more science and math, where they were rewarded, etc., etc. Because they had done well on some 9th grade math test, they lost a life.</p>
<p>I travel in circles where I meet such people (homeschooling parents), and I can’t begin to tell you how common this is.</p>
<p>Sad thing is, the pharmacy date isn’t in her 40s. Rather, she’s in her early 30s. Also, she’s not sure what her passion is beyond the vague owning her own business. </p>
<p>Speaking of midlife crisis…I kinda fulfilled a part of it despite starting at the end of my twenties. Started to try learning electric guitar after not being able to afford the time nor the money for it as an adolescent.</p>
<p>Even Big 4 firms hire at a wide range of schools including CWU. Just need a high gpa.</p>
<p>Cobrat, who told you that Big 4 accountants needed to get their degree from a “name brand” school? Barrons is right - your school doesn’t matter, as long as you get good grades.</p>
<p>I also think you’re wrong about the extrovert part. I know a lot of accountants and my D is one for one of those Big 4 firms. She’s not a “hearty extrovert” but she’s outgoing and sociable (and smart!) Already being groomed for her next promotion and the one after that. Not too shabby for a kid right out of school.</p>
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<p>No need to be dismissive. One man’s minutiae is another’s passion.</p>
<p>Oh please. Accounting is a huge field and includes people of all personality types. There are forensic accountants who work to track the assets of war criminals and terrorist networks; there are tax specialists who help state governments figure out the impact of raising sales taxes vs. income taxes vs. “grand list” type assets taxes; there are folks at Venture Capital firms with degrees in accounting who evaluate tiny start ups with promising new technologies to figure out if they are potentially good investments or not; there are accountants who advise governments on tax fraud, there are accountants who work with Interpol helping to solve art and jewelry heists, etc. etc. Anywhere you have money- good, bad, criminal- you will have accountants in the mix.</p>
<p>You all sound as though the only career path for an accountant is audit (and even there, I know a lot of extreme extroverts who love what they do and whose clients adore them for it.)</p>
<p>Mini, I, too, know many who went into files that were pragmatic and then decided they preferred to be in any number of different fields. And many have done so. Many, many, more than those who went the other way around. When you are working at a job that doesn’t pay well, and that you know has a line around the block of people wanting your job, you don’t have the leeway to do a whole lot else, like give that engineering, accounting degree a shot or indulge those hobbies. The doctor who decides medicine isn’t what she likes can still do pretty well on a part time basis, I know a bunch of those, and do other things as well. Making the switch from one direction to the other is far easier than the other way around.</p>
<p>Seniormom, i think that if one takes the emotion and hormones out of it, it’s pretty clear that your son is not making the right choice. But what is life without the two? To push a young person into doing something he does not want to do, and making that an engineering curriculum to boot, away from the love of his life, is just asking for trouble. I know how you feel, but really, having the young man wanting to do the work instead of dragging his feet can make a huge difference between success and failure.</p>
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<p>I think the OP is saying that if you are going to make life choices based on a girl friend that you should only do this if you consider this person to be a potential life partner and if you are considering that letting her become the person she needs to be will make her a stronger life partner and if ALL of this is TRULY meant to be, then you can grow as individuals and then come back together when you are finished with college.</p>
<p>Whereas Son might be thinking “All of this college stuff looks hard and scary and I have this neat GF who is saying how she doesn’t want me to leave and will miss me and what if I went to school not so far away?”</p>
<p>His parent saying the above makes him think “Gah! I am not thinking about marriage!”
and the OP wants him to think “So then why am i making decisions based on someone else?”</p>
<p>I would talk to him and ask him “Let’s say that you and GF break up half way through freshman year. You are going to Accounting U. Is that where you truly want to be? Or let’s say that when GF gets into college her parents make her go to Florida U. And you are at Accounting U.vs Engineering U. Will you feel betrayed? We want you, at this point in your life, to make a decision on what is good for you and not anyone else. They have to make their own choices.”</p>
<p>Also I would say that “We are confused by the sudden interest in Accounting and are wondering what sparked this interest. You have always shown interest and aptitude for engineering.” and then see what he says. You can always mention that you can start in engineering and switch to Acct but you can’t really do it the other way.</p>
<p>“Speaking of midlife crisis…I kinda fulfilled a part of it despite starting at the end of my twenties. Started to try learning electric guitar after not being able to afford the time nor the money for it as an adolescent.”</p>
<p>I took up the violin at 47 and aspire to the low end of submediocrity. (But I founded the orchestra, so they can’t kick me out. ;)) I also took up opera singing at 52 (and I’m GOOD!), and my current career at 60.</p>
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<p>For most American teens/young adults about to graduate high school and start college, especially young males, marriage is a long way off and having a parent even broaching the topic for someone at 17-18 is going to come across as extremely invasive micromanaging of one’s social life on the late teen’s/young adult’s part. </p>
<p>Heck, it’s obnoxious even for an adult child in his/her late 20s and 30s as I’ve observed with an older former roommate and some HS/college classmates. Said roommate went so far as to avoid calls from his parents for that very reason and when they asked me about it, I had no hesitation telling them what I thought of the matter. </p>
<p>My impression as someone who still remembers his 16-22 year old years well…parents who act in this way tend to be regarded as micromanaging, invasive, and a bit too eager to get their kids married for reasons such as wanting grandkids ASAP. Too much pressure applied at too young of an age/wrong stage of life for most of them. </p>
<p>Decisions like this have to be broached and initiated by the couple in question themselves. </p>
<p>IMHO, parents who act like the above have either come from families where marriage at 17 or so is commonplace or who have forgotten how they’d react if their parents said the same thing to them at that age.</p>
<p>During high school, I was in a long-term committed relationship. We only applied to schools we were each personally interested in (some overlap with the state school), and each attended different schools based on our personal career goals. His parents counseled us to do this, mine really didn’t either way. In hindsight, it was so very, very important for us to do this, for the reasons everyone else has stated – what if they break up? What if they stay together but unnecessarily limited their opportunities and regret it? Those regrets alone could kill their future together. In a lifetime together, 4 years really is not that much time, and they would not even be apart much, given vacations and week-ends and summers. </p>
<p>Unlike some other posters, I do feel strongly that something so powerful and important in our children’s lives as a committed relationship is worth bringing into the discussion. It is not micro-managing your child’s life to give guidance on relationships any more than financial or career matters. Culturally, we are just less comfortable with those discussions. I would not refuse to pay for the college I didn’t choose, mind you – just share the benefit of your wisdom, as it seems you are.</p>
<p>I would also help them make plans to facilitate their “long-distance” relationship if that is what he elects to do. Offer to pay for gas, or the bus ticket, the unlimited text or phone plan or whatever. That may help with the separation anxiety and loneliness factor, which could be driving the inclination to attend the same college.</p>
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<p>This isn’t as common nowadays as it was decades ago…and has been far less common in many highly populated regions of the country such as the urban NE where I come from. </p>
<p>Not to mention there is a stigma against early romantic relationships/marriages as was the case in my old working-class NYC neighborhood where it was negatively associated with dropout teen parents and at my math/science public magnet where it was considered “not knowing one’s true priorities*”.</p>
<ul>
<li>Getting into the most academically rigorous/best college for one’s major or among some in the top quarter…Ivy/elite college or bust. Relationships were considered by most to be a “distraction” and by the most hardcore academic nerds(a label worn with much pride there), “frivolous”…especially by male students.</li>
</ul>
<p>Easy to see why NE has such F’d up priorities.</p>
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<p>The NE does seem to have far lower rates of teen pregnancy/parenthood than many other parts of the country if one goes by individual states:</p>
<p><a href=“NCHS - 404 Error - Resource Not Available”>NCHS - 404 Error - Resource Not Available;
<p>@ barrons, trying to be helpful???..and failing</p>
<p>I know two 20-somethings who are CPAs in NYC. One comes from a very poor immigrant family, had to work at McDonald’s through high school to put food on his family’s table, went to City College of NY, and had a job lined up in a Big 4 accounting firm before he took his CPA test. He’s just a year into it.</p>
<p>The other grew up in the suburbs, went to no-name college, got a job at a Big 4 firm after he became a CPA and has worked at several high-profile (fashion, high-tech, etc.) companies. He’s a wild-and-crazy guy who lives well, eats out at top restaurants (definitely the guy to ask if you need a restaurant recommendation, any kind of cuisine, any neighborhood, any price range), and dates beautiful women, although he is careful with his money and how much he spends on rent. He’s almost 30 now but not ready to settle down.</p>
<p>So much for stereotypes.</p>