S has no idea if he will spend holidays with us in HI or NYC or elsewhere. D and we will be in HI and he knows he and DIL are welcome.
At least they’re here for the weddings this month of two cousins (one 10/1 and one in a short while). Maybe we will all go out for a VERY nice meal while they are all staying with us.
Sorry for your loss; it’s not easy.
Every year my synagogue’s celebrations gets bigger- Thanksgiving and Xmas day.
Big team volunteers in the synagogue kitchen to cook the day before.
The day of, a bigger team fans out and serves a festive meal for firefighters and the other first responders, ER personnel, etc. Basically a thank you to everyone who gave up their holiday to serve the public. Kids make cards. Two other Jewish organizations in town do the same thing at local shelters and they show up with dozens of pairs of donated socks and gloves.
There are folks mopping the floors at the hospital and refilling the paramedics “go bags” who didn’t have enough seniority to get the day off. Police officers who could have gotten the day off, but wanted to swap with a colleague with young kids to be nice. Fire Captain who does at least one shift to set an example for the younger firefighters who are just figuring it out.
The volunteers are people who have no family; people with family but who can’t travel or don’t want to spend the money/can’t afford it, people in mourning who can’t bear the thought of pretending it’s business as usual, elderly, young, empty nesters. And it’s not a sad sack “woe is me” vibe. It’s upbeat and celebratory and incredibly grateful people and all the festive stuff without the baggage.
Is there something like this where you live?
Yes- the Humanists go to Fire houses and deliver home made cookies on Christmas Day.
Ours is a full day affair… helps the people who wish it were February!
I didn’t want to complain until our plans were settled. Not that it would’ve been such a complaint, but ds1 was trying to get us all up there with his in-laws and their extended family, and we weren’t inclined to go. Would it be fun? Sure. Would it be expensive and tiring? Also sure.
Here’s the thing … we’ve established a kind of every-other-year system, and this isn’t our year. Our son’s in-laws have a LOT on their plates with three parents in facilities in two states, plus the son and DIL who live in Europe might be coming in. Could we all fit among the two houses? Sure, but if we and ds2 go, we’d displace the son and DIL and they’d have to stay at the aunt and uncle’s house so that family unit wouldn’t all be together. We don’t want to do that; they deserve time together just the six of them.
We spent a week up there last Thanksgiving. It’s a lot. Ds2 said he’d do whatever. The plan now is for dh, ds2 and I to spend Christmas here, with a side trip to FW to see my siblings. I know ds1 is disappointed, and I know I’m lucky that he even wants us there and that the in-laws are so gracious about including us. And his wife doesn’t have a lot of time off in her current job so in a way this makes things easier on them, but it’ll be fine. We saw him for a week in August, and he’s here now and he’ll see his brother this weekend and saw him last month! But he’s like a herding dog – he wants all his people together.
The only part I’m bent out of shape about just a little is we won’t be seeing ds2’s gf. We haven’t seen her in a year. Meanwhile, ds2 is going to her parents’ for several days around NYE, and they were with them for almost a week in August. Harumph. But all is fine. I’m glad they have each other. And the plan is a road trip to see them in 2027 so we can offload all his stuff that is still in this house!!! lol
FYI - Thanksgiving is six weeks from today. This is not a drill.
Ugh. I don’t want to host this year. I do it almost all the time. I think there’s a Mexican standoff with the women in my family.
if I do just it at my house, things will be changed. I’ll make the turkey and stuffing and dole out the rest. I’m Tired.
My brother just sent me a pic of the second buck he got. We’ll be having venison ham this T-day which we all love, though it won’t offset the sad fact that our son and DIL won’t be with us
2 bucks so early in the season! He must be thrilled! Feast on that venison
My college roommate’s family always made tamales out of venison. So good!
My brother is a precision (bow) hunter. His 2021 kill was Michigan’s trophy buck of the year and now hangs above our cabin door to frighten anyone who looks up (the thing is HUGE; his wife told him to find a new home for it):
He always bags the limit, keeps one to eat, and processes the rest to donate.
That is a big buck! Looks great there
Thanks for that reminder. I need to email or text all the extended family and tell them I’m hosting. This in spite of the fact that I’ve hosted every year since my mother-in-law stopped hosting. Last year I decided to invite my brother and his family as I had the duh moment where I realize I go to all the work for my husband’s family and why wasn’t I inviting mine. One brother, his wife and two of their daughters came and it was so nice.
I request everyone to follow our guidelines to keep the day safe for our grandchild with severe allergies. Each year I get pushback from one family member. How many ways can I say it’s a matter of life and death for a child who has severe allergies and is non verbal. So no she can not bring her Costco cheesecake. One year she brought it with two slices already cut.
I recently told a guest who was pushing back on a severe allergy situation-
“If you find it onerous to comply with medical guidance, we’ll understand that you’ve decided to stay home and we’ll miss you”.
Since D1, SIL and GD moved across the country this year our holidays will be different. H and I told D1 and SIL last week when we visited them that we do not expect them to travel to us with a 1 year old during the holidays. They are going to travel here in early January after the holidays when it is not so crazy.
Next year when I am retired too H and I can travel back in early December and we can do an early Christmas if we like. Also as GD gets older she is going to want to celebrate Christmas morning at her house. My mom was always so flexible about holidays once my brothers and I had kids and I plan to be the same.
@showmom858 we have always been flexible, too. Neither my parents nor in-laws ( especially my MIL) were. We tried traveling with the kids a few times and ended up with situations where MIL refused to move the time of dinner, so we traveled 800 plus miles to eat cold leftovers. Gave up. My folks did come once. In-laws never.
5.5 years ago DW had a blowout with one of her sisters. Since then we don’t see them. We lost MIL a couple of years before that. I have lost my parents as well. I live 800 miles from my childhood home.
So 5 years ago we started traveling at Xmas. This will be our 5th year. It is wonderful. DW and the 2 adult children who are unattached go to an all-inclusive for 6 or 7 days. Sitting on a beach or by a pool while people bring me drinks is 100% better than all the craziness of multiple Xmas gatherings and dinners in a colder climate.
I would LOVE to do that. Unfortunately one is married and the other a GF.
What about cat food?
