Year 2020. Best Thanksgiving ever! Hawaii just opened after being closed for visitors due to the pandemic. We couldn’t host our regular Thanksgiving dinner as we have always done so we flew to Honolulu after getting tested etc. We had an entire beach to us. Ate at the hotel’s restaurant or had wine and cheese dinners on the lanai. I think Mr. and I need to continue the tradition because getting our kids together is like herding cats. They have their own houses, kids, and their own circle of friends. We can always see them another weekend. I make a great turkey and fixings but I hate the hassle.
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But of course it’s a huge disappointment that all your kids and their families can’t get their sheet together and visit the old homestead, just once, because you’re their mom and want and deserve it. My sympathy and empathy!
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I ended the Christmas cards several years ago as well. It was bittersweet because I loved designing them every year (I’d do the picture collage ones - usually from Minted - LOVE their stuff!) BUT it definitely added to my overall holiday stress (as well as being expensive). Once my kids reached college & adult ages and were away doing their own things, it became more difficult to curate enough pictures with all of us. I saw that as a sign to move on from it. I was sad at first but now I feel relieved that I can take that off my holiday to-do list.
I did think about just sending a handful of non-photo cards to my group of close friends this year. At the height of my card-sending I would do between 50-75 cards. I have a good friend who sends just over 200 Christmas cards every year along with a “family update letter” 
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Ahh, the family update letter, which we cynically title “the family brag sheet”. I stopped sending out cards about. 3 years ago with no regrets.
I love the holidays, but one thing that irks me is refusing to let some traditions die or at least put them on pause. My H’s family started doing a picture calendar after the first grandchild was born, for the grandparents. Great idea. Made sense when the grandchildren were just that - children. The youngest is now 18 and no one wants to do the calendar, but someone will be guilted into it ( not me).So my opinion is - don’t do it. It doesn’t make sense.
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If I get a good picture of our two kids and SIL this coming week, I’ll send a photo card out this year. I have to say, I love receiving these annual updates. And especially with pictures of the grown up kids.
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I have several friends that partake in this tradition (and also an aunt, with no kids or partner but a great love for her cats), and in an effort to keep the letter to one side of one page, the font has gotten so tiny and unreadable unless one happens to have a strong magnifying glass handy, that I don’t even try to read them anymore.
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I used to groan when we’d get those family brag sheets. We could guess how obnoxious it would be based upon whom was sending it. Fortunately some of our friends had the ability to tell what they’d done over the year in a funny and non-bragging way, which was always refreshing.
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Funny. I never sent Christmas cards when the kids were here and the holidays were so busy, traveling, not traveling. But now that we’ve lost the older generation and the kids are older, I started sending a few cards with personal notes to far away friends and meaningful people.
@deb922 I’ve read your posts here with care. I feel your longing.
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My dad had a cousin who wrote the most stereotypic brag sheets and we did a dramatic reading of them, as a group ,every holiday.
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Best “family” letter we receive is written by the family golden retriever from the dog’s POV. Hilarious, and we love getting it.
But back to the holidays…whine as much as you want to! This is a good place to do that.
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This cartoon made me think of this thread - the trials and tribulations of holiday get togethers has always been a major theme in this comic.
All the discussions kind of make me relieved that our family was not ever involved with Christmas. And now all parents are gone, son is single, we moved far away from brother and his kids are elsewhere, and sister-in-law was only involved when we went back to husband’s home. During the last number of years we all lived in proximity, we did a lot of Thanksgivings in restaurants and such, and Chanukah every year (occasionally overlapping son’s birthday).
I do have some old Chanukah decorations, some of which go up, more likely if son is here.
Now husband and I do most holidays alone, with a new tradition of video Seders with son, and occasionally other celebrations. Son likes to visit in early December and sometimes hits Chanukah here, but that’s really a minor holiday on the Jewish calendar.
With Chanukah starting Xmas night and ending NYE, airfares are too high and travel too nutty for him to come then.
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I am on Threads, and Jamie Lee Curtis herself posted this meme. Her caption was: For all the Donnas and the people raised by a Donna … my hand in yours (worldmentalhealthday).
I swear, that hit hard! If you haven’t watched “The Bear” season 2, never mind.
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I found it on Facebook! And, indeed, I remember the episode (Fishes)?
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Boy, was I ever a Donna during perimenopause! 
Plus, we became parents late, and the kids were terrible teenagers during those awful years. We have forgiven each other for our collective awfulness thankfully.
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Everyone pencil in a big sigh of relief party here on CC say about January 10…. 
Definitely would have to say to savor the holidays before your kids get out of college (if they are still coming home for breaks) - often SO much easier to plan and execute family gatherings and you don’t have to worry about who is working, who is not, who is with significant others, blah blah blah !
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Both of our kids will be here Wednesday. Maybe we should celebrate Christmas too! Ok…maybe not.
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One year I did an obviously over the top “family newsletter.” The kids were middle/high school age. I photoshopped each of us in bizarre situations. (For example I was a J Lo backup dancer, but ended up in prison because of a fist fight over “creative differences.” Prison roommate was Martha Stewart.) It was fun to dust off my comedy writing skills.
I always did custom creative cards to a 100+ list. As the kids grew up and moved out I lost my motivation, and stopped during covid.
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I thought I’d post an update.
My son texted me this morning that they were going to pass on going to his sisters for thanksgiving. My husband asked what the reason was and I said, that’s all I got. That they are passing.
He also asked what our plans were for Christmas. He said they have one day of vacation to take off for the holiday. I said I had no idea but they were always welcomed to our home. He said we were welcomed to go to his house also.
Not going to get into any discussion over text but that’s the update. It’s what I expected so I’m not disappointed.
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If they only have one day of holiday, I can see where it would be difficult for them to not want to make a long drive with a toddler.
And if they are passing on visiting his sister also, it sounds like an across-the-board issue and not specifically directed at not visiting you.
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I’d be putting together a menu and asking if it’s OK if we prepared and brought the festive meal! And then figure out if your largest picnic cooler is big enough or if you have to borrow one from a neighbor who is staying home!!!
Don’t stand on ceremony- this sounds like an invite to me…
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