<p>When I’m flirted with these days, I’m assuming the guys are desperate/visually impaired! 
Just last week, while I was putting out a sign at an early voting place, a landscape guy eating lunch in his truck struck up a conversation with me and joked about how it was too early to put out a Perry for President sign. I gave the guy points for being topical. :)</p>
<p>According to my husband, strange men are always trying to pick me up in the grocery while he’s off in another aisle. I say they are just chatty. It’s the culture. He’s never been the jealous type. </p>
<p>I don’t think “young lady” is flirtatious. I think it is insulting, just like cat-calls. Of course, I understand the difference of opinion regarding cat-calls.</p>
<p>I agree ma’am is respectful, more often than not. It’s respectful where I come from and where I live now.</p>
<p>What really, really annoys me is when a man clearly younger than me and in a non-professional setting calls me “young lady”. Waiters, salespeople, bank tellers…The thirty-something guy at the cash register at Target? I’m his Mom’s age. I don’t flatter myself enough to think I look younger than him. We’re in Texas, you can use Ma’am if you need a non-name form of address, but you don’t really need one. “Ok, young lady, the PIN pad is asking for you to hit enter” is insulting. “Okay then, we are ready for you to hit enter” is just as effective and doesn’t make me think that you think that I’m stupid enough to be flattered.<br>
And if you would bag my purchases and help move them to my cart then I could be paying attention to the PIN pad when it finally is ready for me to hit “enter”</p>
<p>For the legal case cited, however, the defense attorney had already demeaned the “young lady” far beyond the poor power of two words to add or detract. </p>
<p>Here’s the thing though; what if any of us were saying something that insulted men, but didn’t know it? It’s possible.</p>
<p>Do you regularly say, to the man running the cash register, “Young man, I think you need to process my transaction.”
Especially if he is distinctly older than you? </p>
<p>
You mean like Sugar daddy?</p>
<p>No, I just mean we probably are pretty unconscious of offending, either by age, by gender, by race. Some people are mean, racist, etc., but most of us are probably fairly nice people being clueless.</p>
<p>Sorry I have not read the entire thread yet, but here’s my opinion: “Young lady” is not patronizing if the lady in question is 12 years old.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>You gotta give due credit to ladies, young and old, that generally they know perfectly well when they are insulting men.</p>
<p>If we were to tell them that we found that term degrading, and they asked us what other term they should use, what would we say?</p>
<p>QM #47 - I thought about that, but when I’ve addressed someone 12 or younger as “young lady” or “young man” it was generally to reprimand them in some way. And I’m not exactly sure I wasn’t being patronizing. It was an interesting question to me.</p>
<p>adding: oh yes - another joke : ) sorry, I’ve become rather humorless on this topic lately : (</p>
<p>Jym: How does one address a man of a certain age, or any age? </p>
<p>good question. dunno. what do they say? I dont like young lady, but I prefer it to old hag.</p>
<p>“Hey, Dude.”</p>
<p>How about Miss, Ma’am, or Madam-- as in “Madam President” or “Madam Director”</p>
<p>“miss” seems equally uncomfortable. Not sure why, but it does. And madam or madame makes me think I am watching an Austin Powers movie or some Dana Carvey skit on SNL. DH was in the military and routinely calls young men “sir”. Kinda cracks me up.</p>
<p>In a business setting, I address a group of men in aggregate as, “Gentlemen”. Likewise, I address a group of women in aggregate as, “Ladies”. In a meeting I might start off with, “Good morning, Ladies & Gentlemen…”</p>
<p>If I don’t know someone’s name, I simply get to the point and state what I need to w/o using a title.</p>
<p>Because, except in the southern custom, “Miss” represents an unmarried woman. imo. I like the French where, after some age, all women become Madame. </p>
<p>Introspection, the sort on this thread, can make us all uneasy. At some point, to me, it’s just all too much. On the other hand, I do get vocal about stereotyping. Hmm.</p>
<p>I love how in New Orleans, elderly black ladies address everyone as, “Baby”</p>
<p>^^
Elderly folks can call me “baby” anytime! :)</p>