If this were my kids, I probably suggest no. It’s too soon and you are too young. You need to have your own space. I only think it makes sense when you are engaged and getting married soon. Combined household makes sense if you are going to be married in 6 months.
My 2 cents, too soon. He sounds possessive. Wait until you’re 30.
To those who say that the OP needs to date for a while I ask this question. What do you think the odds are of a couple breaking up after several months? How about after a couple of years? I have no proof, and can’t find any statistics in a quick internet search, but I bet the odds are not much different.
Also, what if she moves in and they break up? Hopefully she will learn some valuable life lessons and gain experience in dealing with problems. Out of almost any situation there are valuable lessons that can be learned and growth that can be experienced despite some pain.
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Also, what if she moves in and they break up? H
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I think a person older than 18 can handle this better. When you’re only 18/19 and living with someone (likely in a signed lease commitment), it can be harder to leave when you sense that things aren’t working out.
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I would like to clear things up though. Pregnancy would not happen because I have vowed to wait until marriage
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??
Ok, this is weird. Is the BF onboard with this? I can’t imagine ANY GUY putting forth the idea of “living together” with a girlfriend if she “vows to wait until marriage”. Either he isn’t aware of that vow, or he hopes that living under one room will lead to sleeping under one blanket.
What is she planning? twin beds? two bedrooms??
If so, she is very naive about men in romantic relationships.
m2ck, my brother in law is living with his now-fiance and she is a devout Christian waiting until marriage.
Believe it or not, it does happen. I don’t think people give men (or women) enough credit. Not all men are hornballs who are going to disrespect their SO’s wishes and demand sex.
Who says that all men are “hornballs” and are going to “demand” sex?
I do think that nearly every man who wants to live with his SO is going to expect that the relationship be a sexual one…that doesn’t make these men “hornballs” or “demanding”. It just makes them …uh…normal.
Or, I guess I’m just crazy…lol
I think if all men are not HORNBALLS then they have no BALLS right?
Forgive me for asking this naive question but why do people want to move in if there is no SEX involved, I mean honestly, what is the point of living together?
I have a very good friend who got an apartment with her fiance after college because neither one had one in the area where they got jobs and they wanted to start saving for a house. They lived together without having sex (for religious reasons) until their wedding the following year. I think they had separate rooms, though.
Impossible, austin. Obviously someone is lying. We all know men can’t control themselves. (Heavy sarcasm.)
@DrGoogle - the OP answered your question in the first post:
I’m sure men can control themselves but in their heart, maybe they are hoping for a little something, no?
My daughter knows a couple who claimed to have no sex before marriage, I mean there’s no reason why they would want to lie about not having sex, but they did have separate apartment.
Post #48, I retread your post and you did write fiancé and religious reason. But for those who aren’t engaged and not religious what are the reasons? Inquiring mind want to know.
Maybe? Maybe women are, too?
Personally, there are plenty of things my heart wants that I’ll never get. But I, like most people, get over it and move on.
I also know people who lie about sex before marriage. Very few, but a few nonetheless. But, I also know that my BIL and his fiance legitimately aren’t having sex. I know because it’s bugging my BIL. (Hence a very quick engagement followed by a rather quick upcoming marriage.)
Post #50, yes I read that but is this person looking for roommate? The long commute does not quite explain the reason.
Post #52, yes but one of them must want a sexless situation, in order for them to be a no sex situation. But for me, maybe I have an Xrate mind, putting a healthy single man and a healthy single woman, without religious reasons for not having sex, is like putting to match sticks together and boom, sooner and later there would be fire.
Edit to say, not to say that it works this way with multiple roommates situation, I had male roommate but I had other there too. Same with my daughter.
As I mentioned, I lived with a college boyfriend for a summer - there was no sex of any kind. And this is not a religious thing - just my personal values and beliefs.
Why move in? Because you care about the person; you want to be around them; you want to have a life together! There are plenty of reasons none of which involve sex. And some men will respect that.
If I were serious enough about a man, I would absolutely move in with him, but that doesn’t mean I would start sleeping with him. Maybe it’s hard to understand for some people, but you can be emotionally and romantically involved and not have sex.
Post #55, good to know some real life example. I thought that sort of stuff only happens in fiction.
There has been more than one example given on this thread…
Definitely not fiction. It’s probably more common than you think. Out of my two roommates, neither one was having sex in college (completely random roommate assignment - non-religious school - although a more academically-inclined dorm). I know one of them is still not (we remained close friends), although she has had several long-term, serious relationships. The other roommate - no idea.
I also know my co-worker was complaining about her son and his girlfriend being in a long-term (several years) relationship and staying celibate. How she knows that and why she condemns it and why it’s an appropriate office topic - no idea.
I think there is a lot of stigma around not being sexually active past a certain age (especially if it’s not a religious thing or if you are an independent woman, who is not super conservative and not into traditional roles). I think a lot of people just don’t talk about it. I know I don’t with people I don’t know. And I think it’s a shame. I wish more men and women felt comfortable with it and realized it’s a legitimate choice.
Maybe it is a generational thing, but my assumption is that a romantic couple who is holding off until marriage to have sex with one another, typically would also hold off until marriage to live together.