I’m a junior and so is my twin brother. My dad is forcing us to go to the same school. We have similar academic stats although his GPA is a bit higher. But my dream school is U of Miami and I’m interested in the business school. My brother however wants to go to Lehigh for engineering. The problem is, Miamis engineering from what I hear isn’t that good so it would be bad to ask my brother to go but it’s my dream school! I don’t see why we should be forced to go to the same school. To make matters worse, my dad wants me to apply ED to Lehigh when it’s not even my number one choice. My top two choices are Miami and Tulane which doesn’t even have computer engineering. I liked Lehigh though and if I had to go to the same school as my brother I might as well go there because it’s good academically for both of us. It’s just, I really love Miami and Tulane. Do you think my guidance counselor will be able to talk him out of it? I’m not even sure why he is so adamant on it.
My dad is insistent on my brother and I going to the same schools, but we have very different ideas.
If dad is going to pay, you don’t have much choice. Lehigh’s business school is at least as good as Miami. There is no academic reason to go to Miami so your GC isn’t going to help you.
Thanks for the reply, that’s what I figure. It just irks me to see all these kids in my class that get to go to whatever school their heart desire when I cant. I know its selfish but ill be the one spending four years of my life there. Ill still try to persuade him over the summer @TomSrOfBoston
No, they go where they are admitted AND their family is able and willing to pay.
You might be more convincing if you were to present to your father a rational list of pros and cons for the schools you prefer over Lehigh. Practical concerns like coursework in a proposed major, the expertise of the faculty, the ability to do research or obtain internships in your field of study, likely cost for your family, etc, probably will carry more weight than “it’s my dream school.”
A compromise might be to apply to Lehigh RD and to your other options as well. If you end up at Lehigh, well, there are worse places to go to college.
It is also by no means certain that both of you will get admitted to Lehigh, so you should definitely apply to a range of schools.
Is your dad an alum?
The reasoning of parents might not make sense to you, but it may someday. I have two children the same age who had to do mostly the same things when they were young and i couldn’t leave one and take the other places. After about third grade, they didn’t have to participate, but they often had to go along (so if only one played hockey, the other had to go along and wait). They did go to different middle schools and you know what - it was hard! I had to go to two of everything. They do go to different colleges and it is still hard. I’m lucky that their schools start at different times and end at different times. The biggest conflict was when one had her final hockey game at the same time as the other had her playoff (and it turned out last) lacrosse game. I missed half of each.
Read the current threads from a parent whose twins attend different schools and have graduation on the same day, or someone who just posted that they have to drop triplets off at three schools in one week.
Maybe if you tell your father that you won’t mind if they don’t drop you off or come to your graduation if there is a conflict he will reconsider.
Yes he is an alum and thanks a lot for the suggestion. I’ll get working on that list Thursday when I’m done with finals. @mamaedefamilia
Your father may think you’ll get more financial aid as twins if you’re admitted to the same school.
Keep in mind that if both of you apply, you may not both get in.
You need to make a list about why Tulane and UMiami are better for you. You can’t just say ‘the weather’s better’ or 'I hate hills '. A kid who doesn’t want a big party school wouldn’t like Lehigh - but then again UMiami and to an extent Tulane could be this qualified, too. A kid with a walking disability would have a strong point due to Lehigh 's campus If a major is offered at one and not the other , that’s also a strong point. Proximity to lots of companies in the field you intend to work in? Also a good point. Research all these schools.
Keep in mind that Lehigh is a reach and it’s take an Ivy -level applicant who’s demonstrated plenty of interest to be a match at both Tulane and UMiami.
Yeah that is one of the major reasons for it I think. I definitely wouldn’t mind but I think they would feel bad about it. @twoinanddone I’ll check out those threads
Yeah, I didn’t mind the hill at Lehigh! But I will definitely write down the most significant reasons for why those schools would be better picks over Lehigh.As for selectivity, going by my schools naviance, I have a pretty good chance at Tulane and Miami and I would have a great chance at Lehigh ED but it’s a stretch RD. @MYOS1634
Is it your dad want you two to go to the same school or does he just want you to go to Lehigh? Since your dad is an alum maybe there is some type of scholarship he is banking on to be able to afford it.
I’m not even sure anymore. He definitely wants us to go to the same school but hes also been pushing Lehigh because its good for both engineering and business and its close to home. @sensation723B
Lehigh has a great b-school and you like the school so at least it would not be a disaster for you (in fact I’d probably put Lehigh’s b-school reputation a bit above UMiami or Tulane at least in the Northeast where many Lehigh alumni live and work).
Just out of curiosity, what if one of you gets in ED and the other doesn’t?
"It just irks me to see all these kids in my class that get to go to whatever school their heart desire " - You must be fortunate to be in school where families can afford any college. As you’ll learn reading the College Confidential threads, lots of families have to make hard choices based on financial constraints. I’m sorry your parents are not giving you more flexibility, but it’s great that they can afford to pay for private college for both of you.
But still, the “must go to the same school” restriction is limiting in a way that does not really make sense from the point of view of meeting a cost limitation.
A few questions:
a. Is Lehigh affordable? I.e. do net price calculators give net prices so that he can pay for both of you go to there?
b. If both of you go to some other same school (e.g. UPenn, Rutgers, …), would that be acceptable to him, if cost is within budget?
c. If you go to different schools, and the combined cost is below that of sending both of you to Lehigh, would that be acceptable to him?
Why don’t you and your brother write a letter to your dad explaining your feelings and rationale. That would ensure he heard what you had to say—leave him a note and then don’t stick around-so he has to ead the letter rather than talking with you.
good question @happy1 He believes that they will try to give twins the same admissions decisions as we do have similar enough stats. If on the off chance we don’t, I believe he would try to pull out of the ED.
It most likely will be. My extended family lets just say has more money than we do though and I don’t want to give away too much detail but part of my extended family would pay half of my college tuition if I went to a private school. My dad’s family knows Lehigh is a great school so if we go there, he is pretty sure we would be able to afford it. Yes, Rutgers is a real possibility for both of us. I think most schools are acceptable within budget but it would have to be a good school. I think ill look more into schools that fit our stats with both good engineering and business. Hes also pushing Bucknell a bit in that regard. As for the third question, I’m not sure. Id have to show him the total cost of each school and he might be convinced. @ucbalumnus
You and your brother would have a much better chance of getting into Lehigh ED because you would be considered legacies. Legacy card is most effective when used during ED.
I know of two students who went to Lehigh and loved their experience there. I could understand why your father wants both of you going to the same school, as long as the school offers majors both of you are interested in. It would be easier for pick up and drop off, school holidays would coincide (for family vacations), parents weekend, sporting/EC events…etc.
I know many students go to schools thousands of miles away, but both of our kids went to a school 4 hrs away by car. There were few times when they were very sick at school, and I was able to get them home very quickly. It wasn’t as much of an issue by the time they were junior/senior, but when they were only 18 they were very grateful I was able to get to them.
Nobody has mentioned how important going to different schools can be for twins. It is a chance to no longer be known as a set. It is a chance to fully develop as an individual. It doesn’t mean you and your brother won’t stay close. With technology that is no problem. Drop of and pick up logistics can be figured out. Graduation is one day and isn’t as important as getting out on your own and discovering who you are as an individual apart from your brother. Dad is perhaps thinking of convenience and maybe money, and maybe trying to hold on to the specialness of twin-ness, but you can reassure him that that special bond will always be there. But college is a great time to start finding out who you are as a young adult, and that means going it alone for awhile. You can come back together in the summers.