<p>Ok I give. </p>
<p>Maybe girls aren’t “into” you because you refer to them as sluts.</p>
<p>romani, don’t, that’s not nice at all of you to try to get Cartman all upset, when you know he explicitely said then reiterated various forms of the following: he knew some guys were into sluttly girls (and come on, if you’ve been in contact with teen boys, you can’t think it’s false, and you haven’t been on a college campus at Halloween if you think the term applies to no one between the ages of 18 and 24) but that HE wasn’t. His first thread was about how he wants to find his future wife in college and actively does not want a hook up culture (which is why I suggested BYU and universities in Utah.)</p>
<p>I’m not trying to get him upset. I don’t try to get anyone upset. I’m just offering a suggestion. Referring to girls as “sluts” in any context is a major turn off for many girls.</p>
<p>Also, he did say: </p>
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<p>I think he has a distorted view of women. </p>
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<p>Well, I’ve been on a college campus for 5 different Halloweens, but I don’t think that short costumes means it’s ok to refer to a girl as slutty. YMMV.</p>
<p>I sincerely hope he gets the help he needs, but as many will not, I thought it might be prudent to give a possibility about why he’s not “getting girls”.</p>
<p>^ ding.</p>
<p>Also the nice guy syndrome ideology is a big turn off for a lot of girls</p>
<p>re: bars, considering his age and his aversion toward alcohol, Cartman has never been in one and won’t get into one for at least 3 years. I assume he’s basing his assertion on parental descriptions.</p>
<p>I agree the word is wrong and I sure hope Cartman never uses it in real life, however it conveyed his idea rather well, ie, he’s not interested in girls who are only interested in hook ups. I find that rather refreshing but I may be too old 
(I woudn’t call girls who are only interested in hook up sluts, as I would not use “manwhore”, but I’m an adult and those are frequently used by students themselves.)</p>
<p>I understand his ad version, but painting broad pictures that “all women in bars are looking only to hook” isn’t really a great view point.</p>
<p>I go to bars, am I looking solely to hook up? Absolutely not.</p>
<p>MYOS1634 - I really appreciate all of your responses to Cartman’s dilemma. I’m a big-time lurker (small-time poster), so I’ve become familiar with the tone of many of the posters on this thread and frankly, I’m surprised at the disparity between their comments here v. other threads. Perhaps not everyone is seeing the bigger picture. </p>
<p>Cartman - This is absolutely not intended in a negative way so please do not take it as such. Your posts remind me of someone arriving at an all-you-can-eat buffet fifteen minutes before closing! You sound like a GREAT person, but may I offer a little bit of heartfelt advice? Slow down! For someone with OCD, it is natural to think the way you do. However, if you publicly present yourself in the manner in which you’ve portrayed yourself here, you will likely be perceived as cloying and forceful, not sensitive and thoughtful (your underlying persona). Take a deep breath once in a while and realize that not everything will happen in the next minute…</p>
<p>Any girl that likes a guy to disrespect her has no respect for herself. And if a women isn’t a slut, she shouldn’t go get a drunk at a bar because you’re not yourself when you’re drunk. You’ll do things you wouldn’t usually do. And sluts are real, women who want to have sex with tons of guys.</p>
<p>I guess my situation is about more than college. It’s about how to live life in the real world. I’ve been thinking college is the only way I can have a life, and still not sure if I could without it, but I am in a calmer more rational state of mind right now. Maybe I shouldn’t post when I’m freaking out. Of course I’ve had those extreme thoughts for maybe 4-5 weeks now.</p>
<p>Ok…I will put it out there. If this Cartman is legit, and has OCD, bipolar, a “little bit of Aspergers”, anxiety attacks, etc…I think his issues are far too complex for folks on a message board to address. The notion that someone with all of these issues, who does not have ongoing support and treatment, will be successful in college is not likely. I vote for seeking significant assistance from which ever mental health support people would benefit this student. College is the least of his concerns right now.</p>
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<p>Let’s say all of this is correct.</p>
<p>You have self-esteem issues and want to be close to someone. Why do you have a problem with women who have self-esteem issues and want to be close to someone?</p>
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<p>These are really good thoughts.</p>
<p>“I guess my situation is about more than college.” I think this a mature and accurate self-assessment. </p>
<p>As far as not posting when you’re “freaking out” - meh. Post whenever you want and if it offends anyone, fine. Personally, I am always grateful when young people reach out (especially to adults) and those in the know are well aware that adults with access to adolescents/teens who are reaching out are in a great position to offer support even if they are not professionals…simply by listening and acknowledging. (-:</p>
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<p>Glad to hear it :)</p>
<p>My problems would definetly be less severe in the healthy environment for me. It’s unhealthy to be isolated for anyone. So I’m kind of glad I lose it when I get cut off from people (it could start before 48 hours of not being with another person, just text won’t be good enough at a point) because it can force me to get my butt out there (not sure where “there” is exactly yet, besides college) but I should be socializing. And my dad will probably disown me if make it clear I have these problems and need medical help because he thinks I should just man up and get over it because he doesn’t understand mental problems. For my severe driving fear/problem, my mom says its normal and it’ll go away but I told her its much more severe than she thinks, it’s not just your average driving anxiety. OCD and impulses go TERRIBLE together, it can be fatal driving so I can’t drive, I feel so abnormal having to do things like hit something a certain number of times if i ACCIDENTALLY hit it once, usually 3 or 5, I can’t do 6 despite not being real religious myself, if 7 really is good luck I have to avoid it too because causing good luck would be cheating in life, and that stuff happening would be JUST cause of the good luck. At the same time I know its just my OCD, but when I if I have to give in to an impulse, it’ll LITERALLY be the only thing I can think about, and it gets UNBELIEVABLY strong and it’ll only go away if I do the impulse, I feel like a freak when I have these episodes. My mom and grandmother completely understand, my dad just thinks I won’t get anywhere in life my fear of germs won’t allow me to have a job, yet he says its bad I’m on 3 different medicines at once, well I’d be unable to function at all without them!</p>
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<p>Also, sweeping generalizations about folks who go to bars, “girls”*, etc aren’t going to endear you to most folks…especially those who are more mature and have had more actual real world experience than you have had as someone still in high school. </p>
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<li>FYI: Calling a female person you don’t know very well/at all who is an adult over 18 a “girl” is also not likely to endear you to many women. Moreso for using the term “slut” and giving off a busybodyish attitude through the use of that word.</li>
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<p>The thought of switching meds or doses of current meds is a little nerve wrecking, cause one med made me feel that I was possessed by a demon and one day even thought I sensed the devil. The wurst year of bullying made it all worse. I only had the episodes I feared in my nightmares. I always literally list control of my body and acted like a wild animal, it never happened in public in real life. OMG I STILL have alot of problems, but I don’t think they can all be fixed, but heavy controlled is manageable.</p>
<p>Due to the wide age range of girls around my current age I just say girls. But yes women is the best term and I should use it more than I do. I use it more for females like 18-20+</p>
<p>And if a girl likes a guy who is a jerk, then I certainly wouldn’t want to date her.</p>
<p>And btw I think girls who want a fun non serious relationship wouldn’t want me anyway because I’m an average looking nice guy, they want jerky and “sexy” because it makes sex for them better. BUT if someone is in love then sex is amazing just because their in love, that’s what I’ve heard and it sounds legit to me. Girls who JUST want fun want a hot jerk, girls who want the real deal will love an average looking guy who actually treats her with respect. We live in such a crazy world.</p>
<p>MODERATOR NOTE: Closing this thread as it has strayed from anything related to education.</p>