<p>Poster: By refusing to get the medical treatment now that you say you need, you’re doing the exact same thing your mother did!
Max: Problem is I can’t afford it yet.<br>
Max, later: And yet even with loans and rent and utilities and insurance, I barely break even.</p>
<p>The fellow has a job and an apt and is presumably paying back his loans and treating his gf well. But, he is not yet at a self-sufficient stage where he can fully tend to his own needs- and it so happens, the focus has been on medical, dental and emotional needs.</p>
<p>I can’t blame the focus on these needs on hi-jackers. In post #1, he took 3 paragraphs before even getting to the legal question. Many told him, from the outset, that Mom has no legal grounds. Yet, he continued the descriptions of his troubles with her and the long-lasting wounds.</p>
<p>I hope Max is really trying to move forward.</p>
<p>Max, Whatever blame you place on your mom for your teeth issues, the bottom line is that you are now an adult and must take care of this yourself. You really never have fully answered others how you ever got through registering for college with health,financial forms from your mom, never availed yourself of health/dental services at Penn. You have been able to get an Ivy League education and now have a good job. You say you are in lots of pain with your dental stuff-get on that right away,no excuses. Good luck!</p>
<p>sevmom, believe me or not, one can get into college without complete medical forms. The on-campus clinic can do the exam fill out the missing parts by administering basic immunizations as well as TB tests etc. - the charges for those services can be added to the student account. When my kid was severely ill in college, I did not get bills for her care from the campus clinic - it was included in the end of the year statement from her student account. My understanding of Max’s situation is that mom did send her financial info, so when her income shot up due to the life insurance payout, his fin aid got cut, and since mom decided to stop paying his tuition bills, he had to take out loans. Max’s situation is not unique - I know a kid I know who just graduated from a-better-than-Ivy (IMO) college by paying his own way, was estranged from his dad (although he and mom had good relationships, but mom had no money to pay for his education), never had real dental work, had only one pair of old eyeglasses, etc. The kid is now employed by a large firm on the West coast and, I hope, is doing well.</p>
<p>Thank you BunsenBurner about the info about being able to register without complete forms.Are you saying that Max and a kid like you know at a “better than ivy” do not have access to medical or dental care at student health or are not directed to other resources for glasses,etc?That would be sad to think referrals could not be made. How much in loans,Max? No need to answer if you don’t want to but some of us have kids that have loans currently or have paid them off and may be able to help with ideas for paying off loans.</p>
<p>BB is correct about the medical stuff. Mom sent financial info but it was always extremely incomplete, and so the finaid officers always had to do additional digging. And yes, medical stuff went straight to the student account.</p>
<p>Max,Glad to know you did make use of student health while you were at Penn. That was what was confusing. Older son 09 paid off his loans within a year-unsubsidized Stafford so 18000 including interest. However, he chose to go public (UVa) to save himself and us some money and to save some resources for college for his younger brother. Since you chose to go to a private school,your loan amount that you are on the hook for is no doubt larger(not talking about the money your mom thinks you owe her-just the actual loans). If you are not having to pay interest, there may not be much incentive to pay off early. However, if there is interest, it may be nice to get those loans taken care of sooner than later. Son doubled up payments for instance just to discharge the debt. We stayed out of any loan payoffs for him as that was his contribution to his education (as well as working during the summer). Others may have more ideas/ a different take about these kinds of things and advice about paying off loans. I am glad to see you are thinking through alot of these kinds of things (like dental care) and starting to be more proactive about getting some of these issues taken care of. Good Luck! You can do this.</p>
<p>Yeah, these loans include interest. It’ll probably take me 10+ years to pay it all off at this rate. While I’d love to just get rid of these loans ASAP, it’s hard to afford. Even <em>if</em> I randomly decided to double my loan payments, it’s still quite a few years. While that’s a bit more attractive, that means a lot less money to spend on things like emergencies, out-of-pocket dental work/surgery, necessities, food, doing things with my girlfriend (who has been extremely understanding about everything), etc. Right now I am basically planning to pay minimum until I have all necessities in my life otherwise taken care of (such that I don’t feel like I am “foregoing” something important by dumping more money into loans), and then I will start to more aggressively shell away the rest. My worry is that it’ll take a while to get there.</p>
<p>I never had to get a new driver’s license when I was in college – I still have the same license I received on the west coast (issued in early 2004, a provisional class C license expiring 2012). Should I get a NYC license or just wait until I move to Jersey this summer?</p>
<p>While it is a pain in the a$$, most states require you to change your drivers license within 30 days of moving to that state, if that is your official state of residence. My s changed his residence to Tx his jr or sr year of college (senior, I think… cant recall) for tax purposes, and had to get a Tx license. Then he moved to another state for a job and had to get a new license. How has moved again for a new job and yes, within the first 30 days and to get a new license. If you are not driving a car in NY, it may not be a big deal,though. Its not like you will get a ticket for showing a west coast ID when you order a drink, LOL. Its really only important if you drive a car. That said, you run the risk of getting called for jury duty in the state your license is issued!!</p>
<p>Eeeeerrrrr, what happens if I haven’t gotten one within 30 days O.o</p>
<p>I’ve had this license for years and it’s always worked fine for me, but it has a really young picture of me and everyone who’s ever checked it always furrows their brow and does like 5 double-takes. I’ve always used this license number on my taxes/insurance forms/work forms/school stuff/etc only my address and everything was always where I was living at the time (for instance for 2009 taxes I’d basically file Philadelphia state/federal with my current addy at the time, but when asked for my license, I’d just give my west coast one).</p>
<p>THe DMV is not a policing agency. They wont care if its been more than 30 days. That rule comes in if you get stopped whild driving. You can get a ticket.</p>
<p>jym, my D2 has a Vermont driver’s license (our state) and lives in NYC. She was just called to jury duty in NYC because she is registered to vote there but her license is still a VT one (she doesn’t drive in NY).</p>
<p>So it’s only a problem if I have an <em>old</em> out-of-state license past 30 days and I get pulled over, but there’s no problem with not getting pulled over and getting a new license past 30 days?</p>
<p>Actually, if you get pulled over and get a ticket? You can go and get a new license and they will get rid of the ticket. I’ve never in my life ever heard, however, of anyone getting a ticket for not having changed their drivers’ license.</p>
<p>Just get a new one when you move to Jersey. It’s not pressing.</p>
<p>ETA: I’m sure there will be someone on the board who will now have gotten a tix for not changing their license.</p>
<p>Your drivers license is supposed to be from your official state of residence. Some states pull jurors from drivers pools, some from voter registration, some from tax records, IIRC. Many people dont change their license. Again, its not usually a big deal unless you are dirving and get pulled over. Not having changed tags/registration is a no-no too. In NYC its probably less of a deal if you arent driving. If LOM is for sure moving to Jersey in a few months, I’d risk it and wait til then.</p>
<p>poetgrl-
I do know someone who got ticketed. They were pulled over for something else, but while the cop was at it, ticketed them for failing to have a valid state plate/registration and license. Maybe they had a quota to meet that day…</p>
<p>My main concern is whether or not using a west-coast license number on all my tax/insurance/blahblahblah (the most important one!) forms will cause a problem that I am unaware of. So far I don’t think it’s been a problem, but I am definitely getting a new one when I go to Jersey. Just not sure if I need a NY one now.</p>
<p>Yes, Jym, I realized as soon as I typed it in that someone would have had that experience. I imagine they were let off the ticket as soon as they took care of it, though.</p>
<p>Anyway, Max, I’m not qualified to give accounting advice. So, I don’t “know” if this is a tax issue. I’m inclined to say “no,” but you are inclined to fret and worry…so, my advice to worriers is to take care of the things that make them anxious so they don’t have that on the list. Some people just need to live that way. I have one daughter like that. Good for homework, less good for the central nervous system. Have you ever considered taking yoga?</p>
That mouth pain can be a *****.</p>
I imagine they were let off the ticket as soon as they took care of it, though.</p>