In New York there is a child abuse hotline where you can call anonymously and a worker wil tell you what they would do with a name and a report. You can google your state name and child abuse reporting to find out what there is where you live.
I have advised my (now adult) D if she were to contact the police on a sensitive issue (like the one the OP is talking about), her first request would be to ask to speak with a female officer. In my experience female officers don’t poo-poo away other women’s fears and suspicions. This coming from the D (me) of a retired deputy sheriff.
Has the OP disappeared?
Everyone in my state is a mandated reporter with good faith protection from liability. In this case, if I were in the OP’s shoes, I would have to contact either law enforcement or my state’s child protection bureau.
ETA mandated or not, I’d already be in contact with an attorney about content and method for passing along what I do know.
I didn’t think any state had a mandatory reporting law for all residents-i would be very surprised. Even if it did, reporting is for facts, things or events people actually witnessed or have knowledge about, not third party hearsay or gossip.
And a sincere question- what would you report, exactly? That Sally told Sue who told me that she was uncomfortable, no further information available?
you don’t have to have proof of anything to go to the cops and express a sincere concern. let them sort it out. you tell them that your kid burst out crying about the prospect of going back to work there, told you she felt uncomfortable, and showed you a screen shot of what another kid by the name of ____ took, which seemed very inappropriate to you. That’s it. Even if it’s hearsay, you are telling it to the cops, and they can investigate, or not.
The suggestion of having your D talk to a therapist and try to get more information out of her is excellent. She may be able to get more information, and if, God forbid, the guy did something inappropriate to your kid the therapist can help your kid deal with that.
OP needs to get full story from daughter. Right now it’s all suspicions. Something got daughter upset but she’s not talking. She might just be a drama queen. Or she could have been assaulted. Also a lot of other things in between. But without getting the story from the girl, you have only her reactions. As so said earlier, some professional should enter the picture. Police, therapist, minister, guidance counselor, someone.
Also, if there are suspicions of child abuse there, the police should be told. If nothing else, it will be on their radar.
The “kid” is a legal adult, and may have been during all times at issue. We do not know if the other tutors are also of age. Saying “miss you” is not on its face inappropriate. Perhaps work is very busy and they could use all the tutors they ever had working asap. I am not saying you need proof of wrong doing, but some actual evidence, by an actual party involved, would be required I think.
THE DAUGHTER BURST INTO TEARS. That tells me he may be a little more than creepy. Please have your daughter talk to a therapist. The therapist can help in how to proceed.
We have no idea, neither does OP what happened there, what the DD knows or just is suspecting or acting out. She refuses to speak. If she still refuses to talk to s professional, there is nothing more that can be done to help her other than offer therapy sessions, if affordable.
If there are suspicions with other children, I would let police know. They get these reports enough they should know how to handle them.
I think it’s likely to be nothing that can be done. But I don’t leave a chance of a child being endangered go if I smell a bit of rat at a scene.
Agree that a therapist sounds helpful for this young woman.
As a mandated reporter, the Principal is legally required to file a report with CPS. Even if the investigation reveals nothing, a paper trail will be in place, just in case someone else files a similar report of suspicions
@roycroftmom Be very surprised, then: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandatory_reporting_in_the_United_States at the end of the section titled “Mandated Professions” says “As of November 2013, any person who suspects child abuse or neglect is required to report suspected abuse or neglect regardless of profession in 18 States and Puerto Rico.” and cites the National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information (NAIC) (2003). “Mandatory Reporters of Child Abuse and Neglect” (PDF). Child Welfare Information Gateway as its source in the footnote.
Absolutely, it might be in the realm of “third party hearsay or gossip” if I were to report it – which is why I’d check with an attorney first. If my report doesn’t have enough substance to warrant action, then our child protection and law enforcement agencies know how to tell me I’m full of carp. But as @melvin123 points out, “let them sort it out.”
No legal cite in Wikipedia, but in any event, the Clearinghouse brochure says the standard is that the reporter “has knowledge of or observes” the child being subject to harm. OP doesn’t meet that standard, and we have no information that anyone else does either, at this time. Maybe OP has learned more by now
Hi, sorry for not checking in sooner. Thanks everyone. There is some good advice here. True, I don’t know any of the details. I do know that the “Miss U” post was screenshotted and posted on snapchat BECAUSE it was creepy and made the 17 year old girl in the receiving end uncomfortable.
My daughter was also 17 the entire year she worked for him - summer birthday. She isn’t a minor now. But most of the kids that works there are Juniors and seniors in HS, and the kids range from K-12, although he only take 7th graders for private tutoring. But he pulls them out of group lessons, which is why she thought it was odd, because group lessons are cheaper than private.
I will call the guidance counselor at her old school. I will ask to speak to an officer in that towns PD, and ask what they think, if anything. I hadn’t thought about a therapist, but I think that may be the best idea here. I don’t have a NEED to know, and she doesn’t seem to want to tell ME what was so upsetting, but what was worrying me was that a year later, coming back from freshman year, she seems MORE angry and triggered by the signs.
She sent me a text from a friends house- the friend lives in a main highway near this place - they took one of the roadside signs and wrote “—— —- IS A PEDOPHILE” on it. It is a franchise of a chain, he owns more than one location. So that is another avenue, but I think comments have helped me clarify that D needs to talk to some she CAN talk to, who can then help her talk to someone who can do something, if anything needs to be done.
Well, thanks. It wasn’t a fake post. Thanks for the help, I knew you guys would have ideas. I think it can be closed now(?) how do you arrange that?
I’m not sure this is helpful or a good idea - if it were my child, I would ask her to take the sign down. Leaving it up may result in an ugly scene/finger-pointing rather than the desired result - having the police look into the situation to be sure that abuse is not going on.
Glad you will see about having her speak with a therapist. She doesn’t need to struggle with this situation alone and it’s a kindness to lead her to someone who can help her process the experience in a safe and healthy way.
ETA - also, thank you for making a post about this; it is a reminder to all of us that we should not be afraid to speak up when we feel something is not right.
OH no, sorry it wasn’t clear. They TOOK the sign and wrote on it, then took a picture of a third girl holding it. Idk if all three girls know the story, sounds like they must…but they don’t intend to put it back outside. I asked her not to post it, or anything like it.
By “that is the other avenue” I meant I could contact the CEO of the franchise, but honestly, I don’t trust people to do anything anyway! But it is because she is angry enough to steal a sign and deface it that I agree with whoever suggested a therapist. It was the obvious answer that I didn’t think of.
Full stop. If she actually believes he is a pedophile, she must tell tell the police NOW for her own protection, as in, tonight. Take the sign down now and tell her do not ever do that again-all communications should be with the police, only, and antics like the sign will both compromise any investigation and her testimony.
What is preventing you from asking for clarification from her of why she would text you about claiming the guy is a pedophile?(serious allegation). Expressing concern for her and her friend and asking what the concerns really are. Some of this still seems very vague.
So I think @yourmomma had it right on the very first reply: “ So there is a difference between weird and creepy and reportable/criminal conduct. I would speak with your daughter to get as much detail as possible. And then maybe some of her co-workers. If you establish that the conduct crosses the line, then I would go to the police and possibly the school district.”
If you do this you need to get buy in from your D, though, because the police will want to interview her. I think you’ll figure out in this conversation if therapy is also appropriate for her.