<p>Many things. Again, not relevant, so please don’t push it further.</p>
<p>Obviously too “liberal”</p>
<p>^One of them. And it definitely is liberal; I don’t think anyone would disagree with that.</p>
<p>I just was curious if you are choosing colleges for your future children based on your religious believes, or on some other dogma.</p>
<p>I doubt that the difference in moral standards are all that great between Princeton and Yale.</p>
<p>Institutionally, perhaps. But the environment created by the students and faculty can vary wildly between schools that have similar institutional regulations.</p>
<p>So, the religious life at both campuses is very different, and very relevant to me – this was part of my own decision-making process. But again, this is all irrelevant, so let’s just move on.</p>
<p>*** are u seriously saying that,</p>
<p>Baelor, since Yale has long been known as the “gay Ivy,” there would probably be less temptation for a daughter of yours there than there’d be almost anyplace else. Perhaps you should reconsider!</p>
<p>I didn’t know Yale is known as Gay Ivy…is that true? I will google that…</p>
<p>You are right: “Yale has been widely known as the Gay Ivy since at least 1987, when Julie V. Iovine '77 declared in the Wall Street Journal, “Suddenly Yale is a gay school.” She didn’t offer serious evidence, but she had evidently hit on something true, because the concept stuck. Today, Yale’s reputation as the Gay Ivy is familiar to most students and younger alumni—it’s even included in Yale’s entry on Wikipedia, that useful guide to the common wisdom.”</p>
<p>Goin back to the OP subject…stumbling said "But 16 year old kids are not known for always making the wisest decisions; they are impulsive at this age. I am worried but also hopeful that DD will be careful and remember some of our many talks. "</p>
<p>Stumbling you cannot forget that you are the parent and D is still 16…you should know you D by now, so if you believe that she is not mature enough, then you should shorten the “leash”, you don’t want bigger problems. Your life will be complicated if she gets pregnant at that age. Her reputation also will be affected if she continues a promiscuous life. You as a parent need to protect you daughter even though restrictions are harsh. Best wishes to you and D.</p>
<p>Greenery’</p>
<p>The girl is on BCPs, so she is not getting pregnant. She is also not living “promiscuous life”. Lets not get carried away here…</p>
<p>BCPs are not 100% effective under the best of circumstances, let alone when taken by a teenager. They tend to forget things. </p>
<p>I always counciled DS that if he was going to be sexually active that even if the girl is on the Pill to use a condom every time. 2nd line of defense plus disease protection.</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>No boy should rely on a girl to take the Pill. There are many young fathers out there who had girlfriends who were on the Pill or claimed to be. One missed pill can mean parenthood and all that goes along with that.</p>
<p>Agree that boys should take 100% responsibility for birth control and condom use (as should girls, for that matter). </p>
<p>I come from the position that it is normal and OK for young women to be sexually active. Ideally, they would be at least 18 or 19. I also think that it is OK to not be in a committed relationship, especially for girls in their 20’s, and it is not a sign of poor self esteem or any other pathology, although of course, it could be (anything could be, take eating, for ex). I knew my D, back in HS was having sex with her BF. She was never allowed to close the door to her room when he was over (the layout of our home made it impossible for her to do anything privately in her room). However, she was on BC pills, and I also knew that she and BF had many opportunities to be alone at her BF’s place. That was something I was willing to live with. She has always been a responsible, honorable person, and rather conservative socially (she doesn’t drink, for ex), and I felt that her sex life, even at her age, was her choice to pursue. That didn’t stop me from stating my views that she needed to develop all parts of herself, not just her sexual self.</p>
<p>I put this out here to counterbalance Baelor’s views, because I think he is distorting the original conversation started by the OP. However, I respect his beliefs (notice I don’t say ‘convictions’), although I find them kind of unfathomable, but then again, I find most ultra-conservative religions to be head-scratchers. To each his own, and viva la difference.</p>
<p>I agree with the point above that those who are so concerned about “never being in a position to ever have sex” that are the ones most obsessed with it. </p>
<p>Honestly, Baelor, how can you go through life being afraid of everything simply because it <em>might</em> in some theoretical world lead to something? Do you lack impulse control? Because that would be the only real reason to micromanage your life to the point that you seem to do.</p>
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<p>I don’t micromanage it. I am just not in positions where I would be alone with a female very often. The cases where I am, I make sure that the situation is in control, also out of respect for the female.</p>
<p>I’m not afraid of anything.</p>
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<p>At 16, you shouldn’t be shortening the leash. What you should be doing is let them grow. The girl is going to be an adult very soon. </p>
<p>Also, I don’t know how you interpreted that she is living a promiscuous life. She took off her shirt. As far as the parent knows, that’s all that happened.</p>
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<p>What do you mean the situation is in control out of respect for the female?</p>
<p>I have been in many groups in classes where I was the only guy in the group or had to partner up and worked with a female. Would you be uncomfortable working closely for long periods of time with females?</p>
<p>Baelor has also hijacked the “advice on sleeping arrangements” in the parent’s thread with his moralistic comments. I really wish people would stop engaging with him - he’s become quite boring.</p>
<p>Yes, whatever happened to real-world advice for the OP? Her daughter isn’t doing anything unusual. She came here with a question about parenting, and the thread has become 10 pages of Baelor’s views of sexuality and life.</p>