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<p>Inadvisable? Probably.
Inappropriate? Possibly, depending on one’s values.
Worrisome? Certainly, and the OP stated she is concerned.
Potentially harmful in terms of consequences down the line? Yep.
“Abnormal?” Definitely not.</p>
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[quote[^^^Ha, emerald, I wouldn’t hang around waiting for an explanation. Do you really want to hear how someone gets to “abnormal” from that scenario?</p>
<p>If it were abnormal, humans would have gone the way of the woolly mammoth long ago.
[/quote]
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<p>Too true, mousegray. lol.</p>
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<p>Think what you want. I won’t retract it – the statement to which it was a response was also insulting to me.</p>
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<p>Uh, there definitely was. These were the options:</p>
<p>1) Be alone on a regular basis with people in a random office
2) Never have any significant work friends ever</p>
<p>You tell me how reasonable that division is. I already know – not at all.</p>
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<p>Already, you are interpreting it the wrong way. For some people, that may be the case. But for someone who has a conviction that being alone with someone of the opposite gender is itself problematic, not just for that person but for everyone, I don’t see how you could claim that it’s a matter of personal trust in oneself. It’s simply another moral belief in what is right and wrong.</p>
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<p>A great friendship that could come as easily from working in a cafe than working in an empty office, clearly.</p>
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<p>See above.</p>
<p>I never read what you read in that post Baelor.</p>
<p>I read you have to work late with colleagues in an empty office, and it is just 2 of you, what do you do?</p>
<p>This is their exact words
</p>
<p>Where did you get your only 2 options in that post was:
1) Be alone on a regular basis with people in a random office
2) Never have any significant work friends ever</p>
<p>There clearly is a 3rd option. Feel comfortable enough to interact with the opposite sex without the fear or undertone that it might be misinterpreted as sexual desire.</p>
<p>Please take this time and show how
</p>
<p>Because honestly I don’t get that. I am not trying to flame you, just trying to understand that platonic friends cannot be alone together. Heck, my platonic friends would visit me in college and stay in my room, there was never a problem. Actually, I think Bullet probably liked his friends staying with me, because it reminded any guy who might have had eyes that I was with Bullet.</p>
<p>Then you didn’t read the post carefully enough, because that was not what prompted my response. This was:</p>
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<p>That is to what I was referring.</p>
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<p>There’s no fear. I can’t be alone with someone like that, whether I hate them or love them or something in between. It goes against my religious beliefs pretty fundamentally, because there is no necessity in working in an abandoned office with someone else. So it doesn’t matter whether I feel comfortable or not – I just can’t.</p>
<p>^^^^^I get that your completely against working alone in a room with a female coworker. But surely you don’t mean you could never spend even a half hour in a room alone with a female? </p>
<p>Because if so, you may run into trouble with job interviews.</p>
<p>Doctor’s appt;</p>
<p>Meeting with a professor;</p>
<p>Performance evaluation with your boss;</p>
<p>and any number of other scenarios.</p>
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<p>Sorry, but I have to ask what are your career plans?</p>
<p>I have had to change my plans many times due to Bullet’s career (we moved alot!). I can tell you that in each and everyone of them, at one point or another I was left alone with a colleague.</p>
<p>SR MGR Federated Stores…Company mandated that a SR Mgr close the store with a JR MGR. We were the last ones to shut out the lights. Floor moves and inventory required us to stay late. There were times that I was the store opener, which means I held the keys for the store and even security couldn’t get in without me. Ever check out security at Macy’s, Lord and Taylor…their 90% guys. No other mgr or employee would show up for about 2 hours. Just me and the guys! Then again I had 3 floors to stay away from them</p>
<p>Teacher…had to stay to lesson plan and the kids were gone, but it was just us. The other teacher was a man, he did get divorced to marry another teacher, but the irony is his stay at home wife was the adulterer with another teacher. It wasn’t him being alone with me at work, or for that fact the other man being alone with other female teachers. It was social.</p>
<p>President of a NPF…I had an executive board, the VP was a male, we met frequently without the board to discuss the agenda for the next board meeting. We did this privately because not everything is open for everyone’s ears.</p>
<p>Realtor…I did not have the luxury of always selecting my clients. I had many single male clients that I worked with, and I can tell you that more times than I can shake a stick, I wrote a contract at 11:30 at night in the office with nobody else around, or 3 p.m. on a Sunday in the same scenario.</p>
<p>You will be put in these situations. If you determine to cling tightly to the belief that you see no necessity in this scenario, I can give you a quick answer to why you will keep getting passed over for a promotion. BUSINESS IS BUSINESS. Your personal opinions, views and beliefs should always be left at the door when you enter.</p>
<p>Too rigid, too black and white, why would anyone engage this youngster in a discussion. Run…</p>
<p>Besides, Baelor’s beliefs are his business and he will have to figure out how to navigate the business world himself. His beliefs seem pretty extreme to me but not unusual. Anyway, if they are based on his religion, he may be protected under law (not being a lawyer, I’m not sure about this).</p>
<p>^^^^I am not sure about that either. For example, if my religious beliefs required me to shun HIV positive people, I would need to resign my job as a nurse because I am not allowed to refuse an HIV patient. I would not be able to refuse a patient having complications due to having an abortion. I have to be alone with the opposite sex in the line of duty. I have to see nudity as part of my duties, etc. Saying those things are against my religion and the hospital must make patient assignments base on those…no, not happening.</p>
<p>@Baelor – hold on to whatever principles you want, but realize that in the real world – i.e. when someone is paying you to be somewhere – things are not black and white. If you want to hold onto your value of not being anywhere alone with anyone of the opposite sex, you will have to address that issue with a boss eventually and it may or may not go over well. It’s not the fact that adults enjoy working in abandoned buildings with strangers at all hours of the night, but sometimes that’s what a job requires. I’m sure you don’t want to admit it but – if there are 10 employees who are willing to jump into a project even if it involves working or traveling alone with someone of the opposite sex and you decide you don’t want to, it is going to hinder your professional development.</p>
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<p>You would be correct. I thought that we had established that. But unless it is absolutely necessary, there is no reason for it at all – simply working with someone would fall under the “unnecessary” category.</p>
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<p>Actually, some things are. For example: [Seal</a> of the Confessional and the Catholic Church - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seal_of_confession]Seal”>Seal of the Confessional - Wikipedia)</p>
<p>I know that situations change, blahblahblah. But that’s simply not going to be my framework for everything, nor should it be. Nor does it have to be, for that matter.</p>
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<p>Again, a totally false dichotomy between working alone with people in an abandoned office building at some bizarre hour and not having a successful professional development. My father works in groups and alone with people all the time. In no situation has he EVER had to stay at an office alone with someone of the opposite sex in close quarters for an extended period of time. I know because I asked him. If they need to work alone, there are more appropriate places.</p>
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<p>I’m not sure what you mean here. You think that working alone in close quarters with a member of the opposite sex is “unnecessary”?</p>
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<p>So you’re going to go into the exact same profession and work at the exact same company with the exact same people as your dad? Because that is the only way that parallel would hold true. Plus, where are they going to go?</p>
<p>I work in a photography office. I’m in there all day sometimes with usually one other person (in the entire building). Half of the time that is a guy. It is the only room in the office with computers. All of the pictures and the equipment are on the computers. We immediately print them at the office and package them. Tell me, what would you do if you were me? How would you avoid spending hours in the office with that person?</p>
<p>I am a Catholic and to use the seal of confession as something black and white is insane when discussing life, unless of course you are going to be a PRIEST. A Priest isn’t the only one hold to those standards, albeit his is from a moral standpoint, but lawyers, doctors and mental health professionals are held to that standard of inner sanctity, theirs is from legal aspects.</p>
<p>I do agree that not every job in this world demands being in an office late after hours for extended hours. However, I think you are missing the point people are trying to make in the fact that most jobs it will occur sometime or another, are you willing to say no to your boss and risk a career promotion? Pretend you are up for a promotion and it is between you and another person are you stating you will not fight for that promotion, or are you stating no promotion is worth this? As I stated earlier in the corporate world they expect you to leave your personal issues at the door when you enter, your job is to make the company the most successful it can be, and if you are unwilling to bend because of your personal beliefs they will find another qualified candidate that will. In essence, you just shot yourself in the foot by saying “I am for me first”.</p>
<p>Curiosity…7 yrs from now you are married, your wife has a job that demands her to stay late at night with a male co-worker at least once a month, how will you handle this situation? Will it cause strife in your marriage because you and your parents believe there is no reason for this, or will you re-think your position and understand that this is just an aspect of the corporate world?</p>
<p>
At the top of my mind, the only career I know of that makes exceptions for religion is the military. That being said, even Orthodox Jews may be forced to ride in a car on Saturday and not observe the Sabbath (war is not a M-F job)</p>
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<p>In a totally abandoned office building? Yeah, that would be a perfect example of a totally unnecessary situation.</p>
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<p>Your equipment is in the building – that introduces a completely different element.</p>
<p>Again, if there is some factor that absolutely mandates the physical presence in a particular location, that’s something else entirely (although I cannot lie and say that I would feel totally comfortable). </p>
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<p>Its only purpose was to demonstrate that there are some things that are black and white. It served its purpose.</p>
<p>B&P: For a variety of reasons, I don’t think that will be an issue at all. Therefore, the hypothetical is not even worth discussing.</p>
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<p>The MAJORITY of the time, your equipment is going to be “in the building”. The MAJORITY of businesses have a factor that absolutely mandates the physical presence in a particular location.</p>
<p>This has evolved (devolved?) into an interesting discussion. Not sure why people are insisting that Baelor will not be able to find some way to negotiate and hold onto his beliefs in the workplace. Here is someone who has the courage of his convictions (albeit in a rather arrogant way). I don’t agree with them, but his position has integrity-- no one can fault him for saying one thing and doing another. He has structured his life to support the way of life that he wants. Yes, he’ll have to learn to be a little more flexible at some point, but he seems to have been able to hold his ground so far. I wonder if he won’t be pretty successful at it for years-- things tend to fall in place if you’re clear in how you see yourself and what you want.</p>
<p>I don’t think anyone is faulting or criticizing his integrity at all. I believe the majority of posters are saying that it is an innocent outlook from a professional standpoint. You can easily not get into those situations as a student because those situations have more options than the employee does. Most professors will have student office hours, and many will leave the door at least ajar if they are in with a student of the opposite sex. There are libraries and community rooms to study in with the opposite sex.</p>
<p>However, when you get to the workplace these options tend to disappear. In business, to be successful, you don’t have the option of saying I won’t do this because it means I will be alone after hours with the opposite sex without doing harm to your own career. </p>
<p>I honestly don’t know anyone who has been in the corporate world that has never worked late at least once in an empty office. Granted, I am sure it does happen, but I think it is a rarity. The same with working with a co worker of the opposite sex alone late at night. College you can opt to take your laptop home and work from there by yourself, you are not typically required to work with others out of school. Corporate is different, when you are working on a major project, you will need to integrate with other depts. It is basically impossible to go home by yourself and complete a project in a timely method without the others’ assistance. Many companies because of their IT security will not even allow that information passed their own walls, thus you don’t have the ability to work at home. </p>
<p>Do I believe as a new jr level mgmt position you won’t be in the position of staying late? Yes, but once you climb that corporate ladder it is going to be very hard to navigate that issue without doing damage to your career. </p>
<p>That being said, Baelor believes he can, and I wish him good luck, but like I keep saying your boss doesn’t give a rat’s behind about your personal beliefs. His only true concern is that you get the job done and have it done well. If you don’t it is also his butt on the line, and he will not risk his job/paycheck because you won’t be alone with the opposite sex in an empty building after hours. </p>
<p>I find it funny because he believes that he will find the perfect spouse who will never also be put in this situation. I guess the only way I know of making sure his wife never is in this situation is to marry her before she ever enters the workforce.</p>
<p>Hey, Baelor …you are a young fellow with great convictions. Obviously like everything in life, adjustment would have to be done in particular situations in accordance with your good sense, experience, beliefs and conclusions. You have showed a great deal of maturity…still your acts and beliefs will be molded and readjusted in accordance with further experiences in life; I have read postings attacking your beliefs but defending the act of 16 years old…that even her mother is worry about the 16 year old behavior…that’s what is ironic.</p>
<p>So, Baelor sticks to your belief and mold the situation around your beliefs! Follow that wisdom that you have…in analyzing each particular situation. There will be situations as Bullet and others have presented which will be obligate you to share with all types of personalities and you would probably have to accommodate and manage your beliefs. However, trust your guts, convictions, and instinct…there are always signs that will tell you when to be defensive or not. You have a great point to be alert and receptive to those signs.</p>
<p>Here is a nice article that provides hints of what things to avoid:
How to Avoid Sexual Harassment Charges</p>
<p>"These days, sexual harassment is a real issue for all companies. It should never be tolerated in the workplace. Because it is illegal, your company could face fines, lawsuits, and eventual ruin if sexual harassment occurs in the workplace and goes unchecked.
What Is Sexual Harassment?
In order to avoid sexual harassment, you must first make your employees aware of what it entails. Sexual harassment is not just limited to lewd comments and improper touching; it encompasses a wide range of behaviors and comments. Even office d</p>