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<p>Baelor: That is the one of the funniest things I have read. Who told you that or where did you read that? In some cases, I can agree that sex is premeditated, but in most cases it isn’t. It just happens and it happens so fast before you can even think.</p>
<p>Baelor,
I hope your world stays intact in the way that you view it, beause you would be shattered to learn anything different.</p>
<p>Also, regarding the pill–they do increase the chance of developing certain cancers down the road, not to mention blood clots in some users etc. I believe patients should be very well informed of such things so they can make informed choices, & I do not get the impression that young women are being fully informed when these scrips are written.</p>
<p>I agree. And, because the Pill is so good at what it does, women (and MEN) really don’t want to know the truth about the risks.</p>
<p>I don’t understand how women wouldn’t be informed. When I got mine from our local community clinic, I had all the risks explained to me, in detail. Plus, the woman (can’t remember if she was a doctor) made me repeat some of them back to her. I guess I just thought this was the norm? </p>
<p>But I also think some of that education should fall to the parents that are presumably paying for the pills (I don’t know many 16 year olds that can afford them out of pocket).</p>
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<p>“Premeditated” in that it requires some thought/decision. First, to be in a position where sex with someone is even possible – again, not that easy to have if you make a conscious effort every day to avoid those situation. Second, to get undressed, unless you live in a nudist colony. Third, to start and continue the act (cf. two people kissing and one of them stops it). </p>
<p>Again, it’s not like the clothes fly off and the bed materializes spontaneously. </p>
<p>But this is all irrelevant.</p>
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<p>Thanks for the advice. I’ll remember to file that away with all the other related advice, which I clearly value so very highly. I appreciate your concern, but I assure you that I do learn new things every day and my life is not in shambles. But I’ll ring you up if that ever is the case. ;)</p>
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<p>lol You are very funny Baelor.</p>
<p>Many people don’t think about sex before they have it and don’t make a decision to have it until it happens. If sex was premeditated, less people would be doing it.</p>
<p>I will give you examples of what I heard from the teenage girls who got pregant in high school. None of them planned to have sex and none of them even thought about having sex. It just happened. Everything escalated from the point the couple started to make out and it just continued from there. Does this happen all the time? Of course not, but not all sex is premeditated.</p>
<p>Also, you don’t have to have a bed to have sex. You can have sex in a wide array of places. And it’s not really that hard to get undressed if the girl is wearing a skirt.</p>
<p>Baelor, at some point you are going to HAVE to accept that you don’t know it all. Particularly since you have never had sex, you might consider that there could be a little insight lacking here.</p>
<p>I’m married. I have had sex with my husband many times where it wasn’t premeditated. In fact, went to bed having no intention other than going to sleep. An hour or two later, I’m making love with my husband. TOTALLY NOT premeditated. And yes, the clothes did “fly off” and we don’t need a bed.</p>
<p>Granted, I think you are referring to sex outside of the marriage, but still, I think that as a virgin it’s just a teensy bit possible that you know not of what you speak. Just a possibility…</p>
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<p>Again, that may be true in most cases, but not all. The huge step here is getting into a position where sex would be possible at all – if you’re always in public with people, never alone with someone of the opposite sex, etc., then you clearly are not going to have sex, unless you are an exhibitionist. So yeah, you would need to make special effort to create a scenario where sex would be possible if you are totally against premarital sex and therefore make a concerted effort to avoid these situations altogether. If you are willing to dismiss the idea that these kids are also rapists, consent from both parties is also a necessary factor here.</p>
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<p>I have never claimed to know everything. I have claimed only to know my family, my very close, like-minded friends, and myself.</p>
<p>If even that is a stretch, then you seriously need to consider your own ignorance and closed-mindedness, not mine.</p>
<p>Again, the only point that I am making here is that for many people I know, premeditated sex is simply not even a possibility worth considering, much like sprouting wings, or perhaps grabbing a baby and throwing the poor child from a roof. No relation other than the fact that they’re all outlandish, but still theoretically possible. To deny this is to claim that you know me, my family, and my friends better than I do. If you want to go there, fine. I would just be wary of categorizing everyone as slaves to biology, which is quite literally what you would be doing.</p>
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<p>Yeah, I’m talking about sex out of marriage. And yeah, that mere distinction is actually enough to render your whole “example” irrelevant.</p>
<p>And I know enough people who have sex a lot to know what situations generally lead to it, especially in college.</p>
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<p>I never said all. You said “all sex is premeditated”.</p>
<p>So Baelor, you have never been alone with a girl in order to create “a concerted effort” not to have sex?<br>
Quite frankly, I beginning to think that you think about sex too much…</p>
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<p>Baelor, I have no quarrel with your stance on premarital sex. This is something that is up to each person and is a precious thing to hold and give as one feels appropriate. Where I do take issue is your insistence that you know others so well as to be able to make any claims about infallible accuracy as to their inner thoughts and private actions. Some day, someone who you know “completely” is going to do something that will knock your socks off. That is a given. There hasn’t been a person on the planet who hasn’t had this rammed home to them at some point. Age, experience and maturity will make this crystal clear. You will then think back to the day when you arrogantly proclaimed that you knew them “completely” and were incapable of being wrong about how they would think or act in any given situation.</p>
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<p>Gah! I am only talking about my own sample! I include this caveat in every post, and it is always ignored! In the context of the people about whom I am talking, all sex is premeditated. Better?</p>
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<p>Wrong on two counts – </p>
<p>1) I have been alone with females, but that was never intentional, or it was for a private conversation between friends. I know that I am able to talk to a platonic friend without stripping down and having sex with her, so those cases are in themselves isolated</p>
<p>2) In what cases would I be alone with people on a regular basis? I generally socialize in larger groups, or go to public places with people just because there would, in general, be no reason for me to be in an area where one could have sex while I’m alone with someone else. So there’s very little effort that goes into it. But I would not, for example, invite someone into my bedroom under any circumstances (that maybe deals with my own privacy more than anything else). To recap, very little effort goes in, but those situations are still avoided when they arise.</p>
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<p>To that, I’ll say this: sex is great.</p>
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<p>I can’t make those infallible claims, which is why I always frame them in terms of relative probability to other thoughts and actions. Take issues with those statements, not some obvious strawman that you have shoddily assembled in order to burn to the ground.</p>
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<p>I’ll rely on the age, wisdom, and maturity of my parents, who have never had that happen to someone they knew so intimately. How do I know? We talk about issues like this all the time.</p>
<p>Again, every one of your posts smacks of condescension stemming from your own inability to believe that someone could live a life so drastically different from yours, both in action and mindset. It is either that, or poor communication – I’ll let you pick.</p>
<p>“Quite frankly, I beginning to think that you think about sex too much…”</p>
<p>baelor, you’re a college age guy? I thought you were a bible study girl at a Texas Christian school, you need to get off these forums and go out with a girl (or boy). and be nice to girls when you get out there. be gentle. </p>
<p>because for a guy your rhetoric is pretty violent, “throwing babies from roofs”…mellow out dude. </p>
<p>now you know I’m from California:) and believe me sex happens anywhere anytime. even where you are.</p>
<p>you’re a guy!!! geez, I’m glad my daughter isn’t going to your college. I can understand boys who are after girls, but your MO is well, a little scary to me.</p>
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<p>Actually this perfectly describes your own posts. </p>
<p>And someday, you will need to think for yourself-not in the frame of your parents. People who think for themselves often share values with their parents, grandparents, etc. Of course. But they inevitably will have some beliefs which do not parrot those of their parents. And as far as your assertion that your parents have never been wrong about people close to them-you are beyond naive. Seriously. The word “secret” exists for a reason. It is something that happens that not everyone else knows about. Even those who are “known most intimately to them.”</p>
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<p>You’re completely right. My rhetoric is violent. I make extreme statements all the time. It’s the best way to get people to react to your arguments.</p>
<p>And you assume “mellow” is “good.” Prove it and I’ll mellow out. Until then, I will just assume it’s your viewpoint and therefore not objective.</p>
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<p>Everything comes in time.</p>
<p>And sex happens all the time. So do shootings. I don’t delude myself about either.</p>
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<p>I’ll take the poor communication option. I’m still waiting for your answer.</p>
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And someday, you will need to think for yourself-not in the frame of your parents. People who think for themselves often share values with their parents, grandparents, etc. Of course. But they inevitably will have some beliefs which do not parrot those of their parents.
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<p>Of course – right on both counts. And I do think for myself. It just so happens that on moral issues, we agree on pretty much everything. Politically, we’re very different. So the “parroting” is not really there at all. But thank you for sucking away the idea that I actually have chosen my beliefs.</p>
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<p>This is where you lose me – my parents, for religious reasons, have no secrets. Literally. They keep some personal information from me, understandably. But they don’t lie. So when I ask them about things, I get one of two things:</p>
<p>1) The truth
2) No</p>
<p>It’s one or the other. Of course they’ve been wrong about people close to them. But on issues like this? No. You don’t know my extended family. If you did, you would not for a second question the accuracy of my statements here.</p>
<p>“so do shootings”</p>
<p>are you at Baylor? or a college in Texas?</p>
<p>At 16 …she should be playing with Barbies, not with real “Kents”.
This is the type of situation that really upsets me… why in the world parents allows 16 year girls to date? They are not mature enough and usually kids succumbed to pressure. No surprise when parents have to ask how in the world the girl got pregnant?</p>
<p>She had lied to you…you should cut all tights with the boy and tell him you will call the police!</p>
<p>barbies!</p>
<p>wow, I gotta get out of California and visit the south! Man, I thought it was crazy here:) you guys make liberal cross dressing California seem down right sane!</p>
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<p>he would be a jerk then. </p>
<p>come on. the ball is in her court. I’ve made out with girlfriends to like … third base, and I didn’t think I had a right to be mad when they held out on fourth. So.</p>
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I honestly thought this was a joke, but I guess you’re serious…</p>