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<p>Why in the world would you NOT allowed a 16 year old to date? Do you just lock them up in a room until they go to college and then hope that they don’t do something stupid? </p>
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<p>First off, 16 is the age of consent in many states.
Secondly, all you’re doing is making the girl want to rebel. And trust me, she will.</p>
<p>I hope that that post was sarcastic in some way and I’m just missing the humor.</p>
<p>Roman…said: “Do you just lock them up in a room until they go to college and then hope that they don’t do something stupid?”
No, you obviously will not lock at them at 16 year old in a room. However, parents need to have the control and the wisdom to let the kids know what the best is for them.</p>
<p>Parents need to start earlier… and do not wait until they are 16…if not you will have the same problems that the OP or worse!!</p>
<p>Everything in life need to happen at the right time…at 16: socialize with friends, study, participate in school’s activities and participate in activities proper for that age…there are enough time in life for the rest…</p>
<p>^ Who is to decide what is the right time? I was living on my own essentially from the time I was 15, but I know people a few years older than me in college who still couldn’t survive on their own. There is no imaginary age line where everyone is ready for the same thing at the same time. If you believe that, then I want to live in whatever bubble you’ve been living in.</p>
<p>Worse than a 16 year old making out with a boy and POSSIBLY taking off her shirt? <em>gasp</em> Seriously, if that’s really all your 16 year old is doing in today’s day and age, then you are lucky.</p>
<p>One should not have to sacrifice standards because society’s are low.</p>
<p>I actually agree with Baelor. And just to give you a different perspective, I am 24 and not very religious, but this is my personal moral value. I also don’t believe that it just ‘happens’. I have been in a long-term relationship (over 4 years) and have even lived with my boyfriend, but it never “just happened”, and I also believe that you are in control of yourself - biology may be strong, but it won’t just take over.</p>
<p>^^
Who says society’s standards are low? Who are you to define what is and is not an acceptable level of “standards” for a society?</p>
<p>Quote: “And sex happens all the time. So do shootings.”</p>
<p>AGAIN you draw a parallel with violence and sex?! This is downright scary! Please don’t tell us how you know that “sex is great.”</p>
<p>But anyway, on the subject of avoiding situations where pre-marital sex might occur, of course Baelor is right: one must avoid being alone with a potential partner. This used to be the norm, quite common, and is still common in some cultures. You’ll remember the term: chaperones. The couple would always have a chaperone present, maybe a brother or sister, for example. My parents, for example, met in Europe, and my aunt was their chaperone. They’ve been married over 60 years. Frankly, if a young lady today would like to protect her virginity, she would do well to ensure she isn’t alone with her bf. That’s fine, go out in groups, stay out of each other’s homes if no one is home, etc. I would assume that this is what Baelor is talking about when he speaks of not being alone with a girl. </p>
<p>The chaperone is simply support for what the couple would like to achieve: avoid the temptation of sexual activity. Unfortunately, in some cultures where chaperones are “required” an unaccompanied woman is considered fair game for a man to “have his way.”</p>
<p>I’m glad we don’t live in that type of society, and that we can teach our daughters and sons to respect each other as equals. Good comment, multicultural: “the ball is in her court. I’ve made out with girlfriends to like … third base, and I didn’t think I had a right to be mad when they held out on fourth.” (I assume you wouldn’t be mad if they held out on 2 or 3 
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<p>As to the OP, you’ve gotten some great advice here, especially that which encourages you to remain calm and give information. Include information on attending parties especially the warning to never lose sight of your drink, never drink from a punchbowl, and even, never accept a drink handed to you from someone unless you know them VERY WELL. Too many instances of drugs added to drinks to make a young lady vulnerable to sexual assault/date rape.</p>
<p>We’re just lucky that not too many kids from the college life forum have found this discussion!!</p>
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<p>To the first question: presumably someone who doesn’t want his 16-year-old dating. To the second question: I don’t. God does. :p</p>
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<p>There’s no parallel. Replace “sex” with anything else that happens ubiquitously. You’re interpreting my posts far too narrowly.</p>
<p>Any example I use will be extreme – I do this because people pay attention, and it also gets my point across. I believe that sex has boundaries. You do not. So in order to illustrate my point, I use something that (presumably) we agree on – in this case, let’s say violence. I then compare a situation involving violence, which we agree is morally wrong, to a situation involving a particular context of sexual intercourse, which I find morally wrong and you do not. In this way, I can demonstrate my argument to you, because you would be unable to understand it without this comparison.</p>
<p>In this case, it’s a very simple argument, in order to demonstrate the correctness of the conclusion.</p>
<p>1) Shootings occur “everywhere”
2) Shootings are bad
3) Conclusion: Not everything that occurs “everywhere” is good
4) Apply conclusion to sex outside of marriage</p>
<p>Note that nowhere am I drawing any intrinsic link between sex and violence. You’re quite obviously trying very hard to read my posts in the most negative light possible.</p>
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How do you know? Did She tell you?</p>
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<p>If I remember correctly, Baelor is a Princeton student originally from the Pacific Northwest (Seattle perhaps).</p>
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<p>Always, Baelor? Research says otherwise:</p>
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<p>[Study:</a> Abstinence Pledges Aren’t Enough | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction](<a href=“http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2009/januaryweb-only/101-31.0.html]Study:”>Study: Abstinence Pledges Aren't Enough...... | News & Reporting | Christianity Today)</p>
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<p>Baelor: I wonder what information your parents are hiding from you.</p>
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<p>I completely agree with this. If my 16 year old daughter told me the “worst” think she did with her boyfriend was that she took of her shirt and made out, I would consider myself very lucky.</p>
<p>Wow, this has wandered off from the OP’s original request for advice. </p>
<p>I don’t know anyone who thinks 16 year olds dating is unreasonable. Even the very conservative Mormon families in my area allow their kids to date when they turn 16. </p>
<p>OP has been a very reasonable parent, and frankly her daughter is a pretty normal teen these days.</p>
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<p>No. He did. Wow, that was easy! I wish all questions were like yours!</p>
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<p>First is right, second is most definitely not.</p>
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<p>Again, you are just setting up strawmen left and right here.</p>
<p>I am talking about my particular group, which actually laughs at the idea of a virginity pledge. I personally find the idea totally absurd/preposterous, but that’s just me. I’m talking about a ten person sample, not a nationwide sample. </p>
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<p>Uhm…so far, the only thing they haven’t been completely open about is their sex life. Why is everyone here so cynical?</p>
<p>So where are you from … and who am I confusing you with</p>
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<p>Now isn’t that ironic.</p>
<p>Is this thread finally over? Or will it go on indefinitely?</p>
<p>^^^Why does it matter? Everyone is free to stay or go as their interests dictate.</p>
<p>baelor: you have a political agenda, that’s fascinating! </p>
<p>you’ve got 3 more years, put the computer away and enjoy college life…do something mildly crazy, it’ll be good for you.</p>