Don’t bother with large groups. Stick with small gatherings with people who repeatedly show up, like a campus job or small club.
See a psychiatrist who specializes in ASD to discuss any drug treatment for depression or mood disorders.
Do both therapy and support groups as well as individual therapy.
Read about five books this semester on relationship and job success for people with Aspergers.
Add light exercise to your day, each day.
Take or leave, but might as well try.
I try not to, but sometimes I’m either expected to show up to large gatherings (ie Club Fair and Honors Program Barbecue) are are required to (Annual Honors Program Reception). Also, I have no friends so what’s the point.
I already go to my doctor for medication.
I filled out my availability schedule for on-campus counseling and they should get back to me within the next few days. If I don’t get a male counselor for individual sessions, there’s always men’s group therapy on campus. Also, I contacted the Office of AccessAbility Services today and talked to them about a mentor-ship program for those on the spectrum (even though it didn’t work last year).
Academics aren’t a problem for me.
I went to the Club Fair and signed up for activities, but clubs have done little for me in the past so IDK how well this will go down.
If I make friends this semester, it probably won’t be my suite-mates. I guess it’s because they were part of a friend group from last year and I was thrown in with them. It turns out college is as cliquey as high school.
And of all the people I met last year, practically of them contacted me on their own volition during the school year last year or over the summer, hence I feel like I was little more than a burden to tolerate last year.
Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to work. I think people are going to have to get to know you by having to work or volunteer repeatedly along side you in small groups for an an extended time.
For the times you’re forced to attend large gatherings, a good strategy is to either officially or unofficially play a role such as manning the food table, or passing out the packets, or picking up surveys… Anything that can give you a “job” to do during the event, so you don’t have to be directionless during it. Ask the organizers for a task. Or, make up one for yourself.
BTW, #4 was not about academics. It’s about social skills/dynamics with peers, workmates, school mates, family and friends for young men who live with Aspergers. Insight.
Good luck. Keep trying to become an awesome adult. Don’t give up.
There are no such duties at these sorts of gatherings. If anything it would be out of place to do it.
dyiu and midwestdad3, have offered you great advice and hints. Keep trying and eventually things will click for you.
Well, I’m still trying and things aren’t going very well right now.
What job or activities are you doing right now? And have you been to see a counselor yet? It’s still early days.
I have applied to three different on-campus job positions, two of which I got rejected from and the other which I applied to three weeks ago and never heard from. In addition to history club and Honors Club, I’ve joined Habitat for Humanity, Economics Club, and LEAP (leadership training program) last week at the club fair (except LEAP where I applied online). I went to counseling last year and go this year every Tuesday. Both semesters last year and this semester, I’m a mentee in a peer mentorship program designed by my school’s disability services. And frankly, I’ve seen little progress since my first day of freshman year since it’s essentially an extension of high school. Oh and last night I went to an RA program as encouraged by my RA. I was looking forward to it at the beginning but ended up regretting it.
Oh and sitting by myself at the dining hall is still a big issue for me this year. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I overslept twice so far this year and missed two of my morning classes.
Oversleeping has nothing to do with social issues or ASD. Get yourself to bed at a decent time. I bet missing the classes is just causing you more anxiety.
@aretheyallyours It’s actually only a tiny slice in a full pie of anxiety. At least for me.
Hang in there. You will survive. The dining hall must be excruciating. Do you see anyone else sitting alone who could use the company?
@dyiu13
For lack of better wording, I’m going to say I can’t tell when I see someone sit alone who could use the company. I mean, people sit by themselves not that rarely, but I can’t tell if they want to or could use some company.
@wizman631 there is a new app called Sit With Us. Just launched. Designed by a girl who spent a year sitting alone at lunch time. It’s nice and private. Basically you can see if anyone is looking for company at lunchtime or whatever, and join them. Install the app on your phone. Maybe someone else at your school has also signed up for it. If not, maybe go to the campus life office and ask about spreading the word.
Question: How can it tell if someone is looking for company and isn’t sitting alone on their own volition?
You could literally walk up to their table and ask them if they would like company and if they say yes, join them and strike up a friendly conversation. Just like you, someone else may be wanting a friend. If they are sitting alone on purpose, then they can say that and you move on.
@wizman631 please look at the FAQs on the app page. It is all made clear. I won’t be installing the app, I am a working mom, lol. I do sense that there is some reluctance on your part to be proactive. Why ask me that question when it’s easy enough for you to find the answer? Not trying to be rude, just observing.
No one is a hopeless case. I have an autistic nephew, he is about 25 I guess. He found a bunch of people who share his interest in comic-com type stuff and he socializes with many of those people online but also in person. Find a way to get really involved in the thing that interests you, others will be there too. It might take you a while, but it will happen.
Well, that would be easy if I had any real proper interests. Even though I’m part of History and Economics Clubs (my major) and Habitat for Humanity (Community service based) I struggle to find them.
You’re doing it again. Please try hard to frame things positively, rather than negatively. For instance, rather than what you think about lacking “proper” interests, try thinking “if I try several different things, I will eventually fine what really interests me. Or maybe I have several interests that I should explore further.” I think you would benefit enormously from counseling, and I think most colleges have counseling centers that are free.