<p>Regardless of where you find them, I like those values. </p>
<p>And I like the values highlighted in the article - optimisim, persistence, grit in its proper perspective. </p>
<p>So how do I get them for my kids - this may be something they have to learn by doing. I can thump the tub for Culver, where I think the kids do get a lot of experience in real life issues. But it doesn’t have to be any one school - any school where the adults give the kids chances to try to do serious things - whether its the honor council or dorm councils or prefects/proctors - and treats their efforts seriously, can probably do some good. </p>
<p>I think the kids want to be taken seriously - and will give us what we expect of them. We have to learn how to state our expectations in ways that will bring out the character we want to see. “ivy league acceptance” may do it - or it may not. </p>
<p>Still working on my list of expectations. Trying to state things in a way that it isn’t gameable. </p>
<p>I had a really nice experience this weekend - I do a lot of soccer refereeing in the local rec league, and as part of that, last spring had to give a 14 year old player a red card for clobbering the goalie. On Sunday, I was reffing the same kid. In the middle of the game, he was in a situation where he could have hurt the goalie, but didn’t - and as he jogged by me, he said “did you notice how I’m staying away from the goalie this season”. Yup, I did notice, and thanked him for it - and hope he felt as positively as I did about the experience. They really do listen.</p>