Even if this romance or companionship doesn’t work out, maybe moving to the CCRC might be a good move.
Sounds like Bob is needy, I guess it’s up to your mil if that’s what she’s happy with.
After your description of your fil, it sounds like your mil to be able to travel to great places is a nice idea.
Oh, the only way she gets into that (his) CCRC is to marry him. Not sure if they have any, “living in sin,” policies. But, to gain the benefits of a lifetime care place, it would be through him because waiting lists are years long. She can’t move in there as an individual on her own. Not without a big wait. And this isn’t her town. It’s his. So, it would be a big change for her. However, it is the best place in the state (better than the places in her town). Her world is somewhat shrinking where she lives due to some of her activities fizzling out for various reasons.
Where is the ex-wife going? She doesn’t get the room?
GREAT question!! I asked my intel person that. We both wondered the same. No idea. It’s a 2.200 sq ft home.
Wife #4 bought into the CCRC with her first husband. So, she’s paid a buy-in. As has Bob. He moved in there with wife #3. Wife #4 has been in the health section recovering from a fall. My source says she stayed longer than she should have (meaning, she’d recovered enough to go back home) because she didn’t want to go back to their house.
I’d really like to know what happens in such a situation.
Are they going on this cruise before the divorce is final?
No. The divorce was final May 31st. He arrived on mil’s doorstep on June 4th.
Well, hope MIL is careful and knows she might be a nurse or purse.
Only a small update (if anyone is still interested):
Mil and Bob will not be seeing each other again before August. Sil and his son (and presumably Bob as well) will do the shuttling. Sil driving to the halfway point and Bob and his son picking her up there to come up the rest of the way.
Mil will spend four nights with him at the CCRC before they fly to NY. One night there before sailing. A couple of nights in London and then two or three more nights back at the CCRC upon return before the reverse shuttling.
We do not know if the not visiting each other is by choice or circumstances (the driving issues). Sil speculates mil is not visiting him before then so as to keep the gossip at bay at the CCRC. Meaning allowing more time to pass post divorce before she visits.
Here is the worrisome part to me: I learned that Bob asked out two other women here in town before he began pursing mil. One at the CCRC, one not. I shared that with my dh but not sil or mil. Obviously also before the divorce was final. He simply cannot be alone it seems. I guess it’s fine if someone cannot be alone and needs a person, but that concept seems pretty fungible to Bob, kwim?
Of course we are interested! 
I’m not surprised at all that Bob asked other women out while simultaneously trying to engage with your mil.
It’s who he is. I would be surprised if he hadn’t. He’s looking for wife number 4? Or is it 5?
The concerning thing would be if he’s still doing that after this upcoming trip.
I hope there is a prenup!
He’s been married four times.
I really cannot see mil marrying him and moving up here, but idk. Guess we’ll see how the visit goes when she comes up here. Both in terms of how they’re getting along and how she likes the environment at the CCRC.
Yes, I’d wondered if they had talked about being, “exclusive,” or not. My guess, unfortunately, is not. Because I don’t think it would occur to my mil to do that.
It’s one thing to not want to be alone, it’s another thing to “line em up!”
Not too courteous to any of the women, ex’s or not!
As noted, we’re VERY interested.
The other women element is worrisome. Then again, it depends on the level of engagement, intimacy, and transparency. My guess, though, is that these are not what would be ideal.
Hmmm, I think you MIL should know about this romeo so her heart won’t be broken when he’s dangling other lures, likely while they’re apart for so long.
She can’t say anything because MIL will be asking why she is checking him out, detective work, sleuthing.
I guess he was just trying to find that that was interested, but he doesn’t seem like a catch.
I wish she hasn’t going on this cruise yet. They should have gone out a few times more. I’m surprised her daughter isn’t questioning her about this.
OK, I’m going to say something, and I hope that I’m not the only one thinking this …
I think that she needs to be aware of this if for no other reason than to protect herself from STDs.
And now …
I was about to say the same thing! It is a fact that STIs are on the rise among 65-plus age group.
Call me confused. She doesn’t want to cause tongues to wag at the CCC…so she is “only” going there four days before they go off on a LONG cruise?
Totally. The guy is a player. He’s love bombing the MIL. Married 4 times already? Dang. I’d have major issues with how he divorced his most recent wife. Doesn’t matter how charming he might be. Don’t trust him.
I feel powerless to talk sense into my in laws who continue to live in a house that is one step away from disaster. They aren’t my parents. Even after 40+ years.
So I’m sure @Hoggirl feels powerless to make any sort of changes to her mil’s budding romance to Bob.
I’m here for the tea 
and support.
To clarify. He asked out two other women before pursuing mil. My source says they both turned him down. I think because he was still married. Mil did not physically see him/connect with him until he was divorced, but she was actively texting with him and talking to him several times a day. I do not think he is still pursuing those women - he was just going through available options until he found a willing participant. Which he did with mil. I think he wanted to have someone at the ready as soon as the divorce was final. He found that in mil.
@conmama is right - I am not comfortable sharing the extent of my sleuthing. I did tell dh.
I’m not a fan of this cruise either.
If my source finds out he IS pursuing other women, I really will be facing a moral dilemma.