You’re killing me! 
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LOLOLOL…and I haven’t even finished your post! I may not be able to!
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I used to think I may remarry if H were to die before i do but now I’m thinking I’ll likely be more like my aunt and possibly have some friends of both genders and not remarry.
Long term serious friendships without marriage seem to work pretty well for many elders.
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From mil on our group text this morning:
Sending Bob home after we have breakfast. It turned out to be quite a lovely visit.
I’m just wondering if he came on too strong at the beginning? He wound up staying four nights instead of the original three they had planned.
Sil does not know if she’ll talk about it to her before they leave for Temecula on Tuesday.
I will continue to update if there is anything of interest.
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I just hope they didn’t plan that cruise!
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Well that’s an interesting plot twist…
Here we were wondering if he’d go home early.
Even if they decide they will just be friends, it could be nice for her. BUT, I wonder if Bob can just be friends, or if he’s a marrying kind of guy.
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Maybe I will feel differently or understand it better when I am older, but I think Bob came on too strong before he even got there!
I feel like Bob just wants someone to take care of him.
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This is my take too, but I’m now not so sure it’s about care or money. I know people in every decade of life who so love being in love that they go all in and in a big way – often without reciprocity – just to live that feeling. I have one relative who has rushed into marriage more than once this way. Head over heels! Love is blind! Insert cliche here!
Sure, it’s possible he’s looking for a nurse or a purse, as the saying goes, but maybe he loves this part of the “falling in love” process a bit too much. And as reality sets in, so does extraction (hence the prior marriages.)
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Maybe he is looking for companionship where he doesn’t need to help or take care of the other person.
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I think this is an interesting choice of words! Not “Bob is leaving…” - she is “sending him home”.
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Breaking news and pro tip: if you need intel on your octogenarian parents/in-laws enlist the help of the grandchildren (your children)
And then this from mil to sil and Friend C. The innuendo!
Consensus is they are going to pursue some kind of relationship, but we don’t know if permanent or not.
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What a sweet exchange between her and her grandchild (your son?).
Thst message sure sounds like she isn’t sending him packing his bags!
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Yes, my ds
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Mil texted sil and me this morning that she and Bob are planning a Transatlantic crossing in August. Added, “Will tell you more as plans develop.”
Told sil and Friend C while waiting for their flight to Temecula that she and Bob will fly out of the airport that is in our town (reminder: Bob lives in our town and sil lives in mil’s town about three hours away). Sil will shuttle mil to the halfway point. Not sure if she expects Bob or us to fetch her there to bring her the rest of the way. It’s funny because we used to hand off ds to mil and fil at this same halfway point when he’d do grandparent weekends in their town.
Also told them that she would like to visit at the CCRC. Thinking about leaving her life here behind is too much right now.
Sil believes they plan to do lots of traveling.
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I wonder how often they might see each other between now and August. I hope there is more than one “in person” before a lengthy trip with each other!
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Idk, but I bet they will.
Additional recon on my part has yielded knowledge that Bob cannot be alone. Meaning that he does not do well being alone. He 100% did not want wife #4 to divorce him.
I know he is a scary smart (in his field) guy, but I’m also hearing somewhat socially awkward/doesn’t have a ton of friends. So, I think he needs a person
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Hopefully they at least become compatible travel partners if nothing else and just enjoy having each other to rely on while on a vacation.
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To me, the “I can’t be alone and yet my wives keep leaving me” profile is a flashing red light… but you guys all seem hyper aware of the situation so that’s all good.
Even the elderly get to make mistakes with their love lives… so as long as MIL isn’t being physically, emotionally or financially abused- I guess she gets to see this to whatever stage she wants it to be at. And how nice that she’s showing so much spunk in figuring out their logistics! Imagine having a MIL sitting in her recliner waiting for everyone else in the family to move her from point A to point B, take her out to brunch every week, waiting for the grandchildren to show up to entertain her and for the kids to show up to take her to get her hair cut and to the bank. I think that’s a much more typical scenario than what you’ve described. So I’m impressed with her agency here!!!
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Yes. The good news is that the additional recon (which was corroborated by two sources) I got today made me feel like NONE of those are a concern at all.
Well, our shuttling her is going to be part of the logistics. Sil said mil didn’t really ask - just assumed she would drive her to the halfway point. Not sure if he will fetch her from there or if she expects us to.
He sounds needy, but I guess it’s up to MIL to decide whether she wants to fulfill that role for him. Unless he turns abusive or controlling, this could be a good thing for her. Fingers crossed!
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