I have a friend who REALLY needs hearing aids and I’m telling you nobody misses a beat telling him so. He’s such a wonderful person and it’s like losing him even though he’s standing in front of you. He just doesn’t get it.
He “doesn’t like things in his ears”. And I told him that “Guess what? You can get monster trucks like they’ve had for a million years to sit outside your ears and then be able to hear. And we’d all love it. Your wife would be estatic.”
This is straying off the monkey prints…but gotta add that perhaps if Bob could hear he could join in a conversation with more to talk about than himself and old stories.
I’m worried about needing hearing aids (two of my younger siblings already use them). I’m worried because I get ear infections whenever anything is in my ear. In fact, I have an ear infection right now. I’ll need the outside-monster-truck ones.
They aren’t monster trucks anymore for the most part. The important part is being able to be part of a conversation. Because if you’re aren’t part of the conversation you could be the conversation!
The part that actually goes in your ear is very small. Much smaller than the old hearing aids. You can discuss this with the audiologist who fits your aids when the time comes. And the part that goes behind your ears is also small.
The big thing behind your ear aids…also have a part that goes in your ears.
Were you considering aids that are in ear only? That might not be a good option for you…but discuss when the time comes.
Re: dining out with someone with a hearing loss….a few things.
Pick a quiet restaurant and request a booth away from the crowd if possible.
Go at an off time…like a late lunch or early dinner. Less people.
Don’t go with a large crowd. Four max. That way the person can be sitting facing two people (if you are in a booth).
So far I haven’t had hearing loss; I go to an ENT because of my infections/fluid so I think I’ll catch it when/if it happens! I really am not looking forward to anything inside my ear at all…
My BFF was visiting me from out of town on mil’s actual birthday. I think I mentioned dh and I sent her flowers and a snail mail card as we usually do. Today, I offered to take her out for a belated birthday lunch next week, and she has accepted. She really has become sort of, “puzzles only,” on our group text. She will engage on other topics only if we ask her direct questions. I’m hoping she will be more engaging and conversant than when I took her to tea in early November. That is the last one-on-one time I had with her. She just almost seems to have a different personality now.
She also added when replying to my belated birthday lunch invite, “Bob and I still owe you and dh (her ds, my husband) a dinner to thank you for your moving in help.” It is very hard for me to not reply a bit snarkily to that. I don’t want a quid pro quo dinner. I want her to want to spend time with us!! Not because they, “owe,” us something. I swear, it feels like they view it as a, “non-optional social convention,” a la Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory.
Can you just say that to her? “MIL, H and I aren’t worried about making favors even - we just would like to spend the occasional time with you!” (Or you and Bob even though I’m thinking that is not what you are going for…)
How would you describe her personality being different compared to say this time last year before this relationship bloomed???
I think the dinner invite feels weird because it’s not what you’ve experienced in the past with mil and your late fil.
I do think that for many, a dinner invite for all the help you’ve done is not unusual.
We’ve had the same experience. We did something for someone, the response is to thank them in a way that shows their appreciation. Dinner is appreciation for all that you’ve done for Bob and mil.
She used to be Chatty Cathy whether in person or via text. She now seems very, “guarded,” in both. She doesn’t voluntarily share anything and doesn’t seem eager to. She will drop a texting conversation and not come back to it for hours. She no longer seems, “warm,” if that makes any sense.
She previously said that she does not take her phone to dinner and often forgets to check it when they return from dinner. Which isn’t necessarily bad in and of itself, but it’s certainly a change in behavior.
And her attitude toward sil, at least in group texts that I see, is pretty curt. Sil had to meet the termite people for an inspection prior to the closing. She kind of, “reported,” on the house on a group text that included dh. Blew leaves off patio, etc. My dh immediately thanked her as did I. I asked a question about the house which she answered. Six hours later, mil chimes in and writes something like, “Thanks. I guess you’re still on the hook until the house closes.” Again, it just all seems so transactional to me. Sort of what I would call a, “bare minimumitis” in all her interactions.
That is why I am curious to see how she acts when we go to lunch next week.
So your SIL is doing these things for mil’s benefit and that’s how mil responds? I think it’s a pretty rude response from mil. Even if she isn’t happy with SIL she could have responded with a simple thank you.
Agree. It could be an early sign of some form of mild cognitive impairment which can lead to dementia. We observed that change in behavior with my mom.
