TL;DR!! sorry, this is a looong ranting vent.
My dh is leaving tomorrow on a business trip. He and my ds planned a hike today so they could get some quality time in together. Since mil wasn’t admitted, they decided to go ahead and go.
I convinced mil (with the help of sil) to allow me to go get her some groceries. She had said the two of them were going later today. We finally convinced her. She sent me a list. When I arrived around 1:00, she was still in pjs. She answered the door. Clearly exhausted, weak, and drained. We got most things put away, with no sign of Bob. “Where’s Bob?” “Oh, he’s showering and getting ready. He’s going to…” I gave her a look - “He’s not going to the boat. He’s going to Dillard’s.” Me: “Why is he going to Dillard’s?” Mil: “He needs to get some shirts.” Me: “I don’t think you should be here by yourself.” She disagreed, but I stayed anyway. She had not had anything to eat other than half a piece of toast. She was really sluggish and not super lucid.
Bob eventually wandered in. Left to go to Dillard’s. I went over her hospital papers. She claims she took her medication list with her when they went to the hospital. However, not all her medications were listed, and the Tramadol was noticeably absent. Hospital said to follow up with PCP in a week. They don’t have a week - they are going on this cruise. Their PCP is at the CCRC, and she isn’t in until Wednesday. They think (but don’t know) that another doctor is there on Tuesday, but they know there is no doctor there at all on Mondays.
Honestly, I wasn’t very nice to her. I asked her if she thought Bob was capable of taking care of her. “I do.” When I pointed out that he couldn’t see well, couldn’t hear well, and that I had witnessed memory lapses, she just sat there and said nothing. Eventually, she just said, “Well, if he can’t they will over there,” and pointed in the direction of the AL section.
Got some Pedialyte, plain chicken broth, and half a banana in her. I also asked if Bob was incapable of going to the store by himself. She said he wasn’t incapable and he’d gone yesterday. But apparently only got some kind of cooked? Frozen? No idea? eggs that HE wanted and some Gatorade for her. He has to have eggs every morning which she usually cooks for him. Yet, I had to buy regular eggs today. I asked if he could cook an egg. “Just the pre-cooked kind he buys.” (I have no idea what she’s talking about unless he bought hard-boiled eggs??) She’d unloaded the top half of. the dishwasher. So, I asked if he was incapable of unloading the dishwasher. She said he could do that. Then why hasn’t he??? Why are you doing it??? She has not been able to keep food down for two days. She claims he would help if she asked. Then ASK! I told her she was not put on this earth to wait on a man. On any man!
Bob came back. Didn’t have any shirts because the woman who helped him last time wasn’t there. He wants the same kind as he got last time, but he doesn’t know where they are. So he has to go back another time. Wants them for their trip. Tell me the brand, and I’ll get the shirts. “Oh, no. I have to have my person help me.”
I wrote a note to give to the medical person at the CCRC. Asking to please review her meds and dosages after her intractable vomiting and Saturday evening ED visit.
As I left he thanked me for getting groceries and feeding her something. That was what she needed. Then WHY didn’t he do those things?? How hard is it to buy chicken broth when you go to the store?
Oh, and when I left - he winked at me! “Bob, please do not wink ar me.” “Oh, I didn’t.”! “You did and you winked at me when we saw you at the Mexican restaurant. Please don’t do that. Women don’t like to be winked at.” He seemed quite shocked and flustered I said that to him.
A truly, truly maddening afternoon.
We are vacationing in Florida during part of the time they are on their cruise I told dh we need to take our passports with us in case we need to fly to Canada if something happens to her.
. It’s silly but I want to shake SIL and say, don’t wait until it’s too late!!
