I just hope MIL makes choices that make HER happy and work for HER, short and long term. So glad that Bob is unpleasant and grumpy now that he’s ill and giving her some foreshadowing of what he may be like.
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Just curious @hoggirl, did MIL ever mention getting to Tea or anything else SHE wanted? Has she ever mentioned what she likes about Bob other than CCRC and S*X?
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I suspect if MIL doesn’t comply soon enough with Bob’s demands, he will start prowling for more agreeable women who would want to be his partner. Seems like he’s very much used to getting his way with women.
Sadly he doesn’t seem to have had much difficulty finding women interested in going along with him, but that may change as he ages and health declines.
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She didn’t go to tea on the ship. Not even one time. 
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The issue is that his reputation precedes him at the CCRC. I think that is why he had to go out of town.
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Well, that shows that even on his “best” behavior, he really puts himself first and can’t even let the person he is “love bombing” get a crumb!
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Was that something she was really looking forward to? That’s so sad.
Any explanation as to why not?
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Random thoughts:
- given the latest news, Bob most definitely is in the category of “can’t stand being single”
- The CCRC medical provider telling him to take allergy meds says they don’t believe he’s bad enough to prescribe anything yet. But if he sounds as terrible as he does, he’ll need an inhaler, antibiotics, and steroids pretty soon.
- Getting sick is what happens sometimes when you travel. Especially when on a cruise ship trapped in the same boat for several days in close quarters with other people. And when you’re over 80 yr old, you’re more susceptible to getting stuff.
- MIL waiting to move into the CCRC is a good thing.
- Bob doesn’t want MIL to leave because he hates being by himself, wants/needs an audience, and wants somebody to take care of him.
- getting married at this point is a dumb idea.
- does Bob have kids? I can’t remember. What do his kids think of what’s happening?
- 80+ yr old people get sick and die. And heck, the odds of Bob being sick or infirmed are pretty darn high. Same for MIL. So if she doesn’t want to take care of Bob for the rest of her life, she shouldn’t marry him. Period.
- Bob sounds demanding and a pain in the butt. I certainly wouldn’t want to be his free nursemaid.
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Yes. When we took them out to dinner the first time mil came to visit the CCRC, it was the one specific thing she said she wanted to whole on the Queen Mary 2. Even their travel agent recommended.
No real explanation. Just vague. “Thought about it. Didn’t get to it.” 
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Oh my. That’s really hard to shake in the elderly. A friend, not nearly 80 was not well for over 6 weeks. Her husband had to do just about everything. She had zero energy.
Will the CCRC deliver meals to Bob? Some places will do so.
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Agreed. Can’t he get food from the dining hall? And doesn’t a son live close by? Or maybe it was a daughter.
Your mom is home now?
Mil got home yesterday.
Idk about the meal delivery stuff. He isn’t techie enough to have groceries delivered, I don’t think.
His son lives about 30 minutes away
I personally am glad she’s not there with him while he’s sick. One, I don’t want her to get sick, and, two, I fear falling into the familiar caretaker role would make her feel wanted and needed and they’d trauma bond over the whole thing. Of course, not being there and worrying from afar means perhaps an unrealistic picture of what a bear he may be while sick.
When are they next scheduled to see each other?
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Did Bob drive her half way…while sick?
That’s awful. The one thing she wanted to do — and so easy to arrange.
Maybe that will be the eye-opener you are hoping for?
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On a side note, I live near the original Queen Mary (docked in Long Beach) and have had tea there. Very lovely. I would definitely want to go to tea on the QM2 if I were on a voyage — and such a voyage is something I have seriously considered and almost did last year.
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Apologies. I had posted a screen shot from mil but failed to black out her little circle pic, so I asked the mods to remove. So subsequent posts may not make sense.
Bob had another sleepless night so went to the hospital this morning. Has pneumonia. Given antibiotics. Mil worried about his lack of food in the house.
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His son did, but Bob road with them. Even though sil and I both suggested he stay home and rest.
When I had lunch with her on Wednesday, they had not yet planned their next visit with each other.