Octogenarian romances? Who has had experience with this with their parents/in-laws?

The CCRC should be able to deliver food. They don’t want sick people going to the dining room.

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My mom has been in two. Both will deliver food if a resident is sick.

I’ve never once worried about her having enough food. Because it’s part of what’s provided. She has to put herself out to have it delivered though

My mil after she fell and is not in a CCRC, we talked about her having her groceries delivered or using uber eats. She’s not interested. She would rather ask her neighbor to pick things up for her.

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Her neighbor seems to be a gem! Walked the dog, gets the groceries…

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She’s the best!

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My parents’ CCRC would deliver food. There was a minimal service charge but it was still available. These days with so many different delivery options, I can’t imaging acquiring food would be that tough, especially not for anyone living in CCRC.

It would be very telling if his S who lives only 30 minutes away is unwilling to help him and would definitely be something MIL should consider — does she want to be his possibly sole caregiver when he’s subpar?

Seems poor Bob doesn’t know how to care for himself without obliging spouse.

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Bob is not in the hospital. He is at the CCRC.

I have no idea about delivery possibilities at the CCRC. There is a bistro in addition to the dining hall, but it is closed on Saturdays. Maybe Sundays as well?? The dining hall is only open on Sunday for brunch.

I live one mile from Bob in his CCRC. Much closer than his son does. I offered to go pick up food items on Friday when I was going to the store anyway, and mil was still here in our town. Mil declined saying they were going out to lunch and would pick things up after. Then Bob wasn’t interested in doing that. It’s not my job to fix Bob’s food problems. As my dh often says by quoting the movie Airplane, “Chump don’t want no help, chump don’t get no help.”

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Hmm… one mile from the CCRC. If your MIL opts to relocate there, I sure hope that you don’t get sucked in for too much Bob care and drama.

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Bob sure is inconsiderate going to lunch at CCRC and sharing his germs among vulnerable elders. He also kept exposing MIL to his germs and wanted her to remain for more exposure. That’s really selfish!

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We really don’t like Bob, do we!!

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Where did they go out to lunch while Bob was sick?

In the realm of “general concern for one’s fellow human,” it’s too bad that Bob is sick. I’ve had pneumonia before and it can go very quickly to filling up both lungs if you’re not on top of it. Anybody who’s 80+ is probably at risk of dying from it if they get it. And the depth of the coughing wears you out. It sucks.

That being said, Bob is a butthead for going out to lunch when he’s sick. He’s selfish. If he’s on antibiotics, he shouldn’t be exposing other people until he’s 24 hr fever free at least. He is a foolish stubborn old man who wants things his way.

Doesn’t matter that you, OP, live like a mile away from this place. The CCRC and his kids can deal with it. It’s nice of you to offer to help him out but be careful with your offers because people like Bob can and will take advantage of it.

Bob doesn’t have much to eat at his place? He’s a grown man who figured out how to go on over 20 cruises and who convinced multiple women to marry him. He can figure out how to pick up the phone and ask the CCRC for help with food delivery and groceries.

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I thought I read the post differently

Mil thought they were going out to lunch. Bob didn’t feel well enough so they didn’t.

I also don’t like it when people who are visibly sick show up to eat. Especially since Covid. Especially when dining with people over 80.

I must say that it seems more and more that Bob (and maybe mil) don’t have a lot of self awareness

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I might have misread it! :slightly_smiling_face:

@sbinaz - even if you misread, your last 2 paragraphs are spot on.

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A couple of other people also commented about Bob and mil going to lunch.

Maybe @Hoggirl will clarify what happened WRT going out to lunch.

First of all, @Hoggirl I want to say, your MIL may not know it but she is a social media influencer - her thread has 700+ comments!! :blush:

Whether they went to lunch or not, it was not the best judgement from either of them to even consider going out. Or going to any public place to get food or groceries. Maybe he didn’t trust MIL to get food for him so he wouldn’t stay home! Who knows.

@sbinaz I’m going to give you a compliment. IMO you can be very blunt or frank in your comments all the time on CC. In the case of this thread your comments really are hitting it on the nose for me. Maybe we sent you as a CC tribute to talk some sense into MIL. :wink:

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He’s figured it out in the past by always having a wife to do this for him. He thinks he has it figured out now by having MIL to do it, or at least to soon be doing it.

My father was like this. He had his mother doing everything for him, then his wife (he was married at 20). He never did laundry, bought toilet paper, did anything he didn’t want to do.

Bob has his formula, serial marriage, to get things done.

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And, this was exactly the situation with my fil. He had been tended to by his mother. Then married to mil and was tended to be her.

I don’t think he even knew how to run their dishwasher or washing machine. Heck, he wouldn’t even carry his plate over from the kitchen table to the sink.

Edited: so sorry for the multiple typos

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Yup, Bob can’t be single because he needs someone to “mother” him. Serial marriages is definitely a sign.

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