LOL. Now we’re moving from “should they meet” to “plan their cruise”.
Honestly it could be over as soon as he rings the doorbell and she opens the door.
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Which reminds me of another ABC reality show … “That’s a no from me, dawg.”
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One thing that I don’t think anyone has mentioned yet is the increased incidence of STDs among older adults, especially in a situation where one partner may be more sexually active (for instance, who knows what “Bob” has been up to lately if his marriage has been on the rocks for some time). A really awkward thing to discuss with a parent/in-law, but perhaps worth some sort of cautionary comment?
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Is he already booked for this one too? No problem adding a plus one to the room.
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It looks like the QEII goes from NYC to Southampton in 7 days, no stops at all. Then they have 14 (or even 21) day trips that either loop around Norway and then cross or loop around New England and Canada and then cross. Those are sort of 2 cruises combined into one as you could do the crossing without the loop.
We are having a lot more fun with your MIL’s romance than your SiL is having.
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I hope our fun doesn’t come across as at your or MIL’s expense, @Hoggirl 
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I’m guessing that SIL has not had to deal with a close friend or family member who experiences what society seems “appropriate”. Long period of mourning, depression, anhedonia…the friends are exhausted from trying to get the surviving spouse to socialize, get a haircut, take a vacation, volunteer…do SOMETHING. The family seems reconciled to the state of affairs “Dad just can’t move on, mom was his rock” or “mom is still too overwhelmed to even think about having a social life”.
This seems healthier. SIL probably has friends whose widowed mothers are stuck in grief… after many years. They won’t go to therapy, they don’t “believe” in antidepressants, they refuse to join a support group. She may come to appreciate her resilient and fun seeking mom!
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My MIL died last year, after a long decline into dementia. FIL was by her side the whole time, but I know the caretaking was very hard on him. Since her passing he has spent some time with a lady friend (mutual long time friend of MIL and FIL) and recently went on a cruise and trip to Europe. I don’t know how long he’ll be around (he’s already 87 and has some health issues), but it makes me happy to get his texts with vacation selfies!
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Different thread but my sister is stuck after the death of her husband. She is seven years older than me. It’s always “but what could/would/should I do?” The answer is “whatever you want!” Go where you want, live where you want, do what you want. She has family support to make that happen. Life really is short.
If your MIL is of sound mind with family support then support her. If it falls apart then hopefully she had fun on a cruise. If it holds together then hopefully she has companionship and some close support that you aren’t able to give.
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The other thing that I wonder about is how your mil’s marriage was. Was it a very happy relationship? Maybe she’s looking for someone to be with and to pass the time.
Maybe your fil was very controlling and this is something she can do now on her own?
I certainly have sympathy for your sister in law. To me, it sounds like they are enmeshed together and her mom finding a companion means that she’s losing hers. Maybe your sil is bossy? And likes her place in that? Which mil is tearing apart.
I think that your mil should go on a cruise, whether or not this works out with Bob.
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@gouf78 - I asked if this trip were already booked. I mean, it could have been booked with the intent of Wife #4 going! Sil said friend said mil said (who remembers the telephone game!! 
) it was not. That they were going to plan it during his visit in June. But, who knows?
@deb922 - to be blunt, my fil was a jerk. Mil didn’t even know how much money they had when he died. He was controlling, patriarchal, and narcissistic. Very disrespectful of her. She worked but did everything around the house. He didn’t know how to use the washing machine or dishwasher. Heck, he wouldn’t even carry his plate to the sink after eating. He clearly missed the, “cherish,” part of the vows. Though he initially love-bombed her, apparently. Maybe that’s why my spidey senses are a bit up. It feels like this guy might be doing the same. She is clearly flattered by his attention, and I know it was the same when fil was dating mil.
Sil has been widowed three years. Her husband was 18 years older than she. She does travel with mil some, but she complains about that and about her a lot, in general. But, I’m wondering if maybe (and this sounds weird) sil is a bit jealous? I mostly think she is worried about mil becoming looser with her money (which I think she needs to do, since fil was such a miser) and/or winding up in a bad spot if she makes hasty decisions. I think she is sort of counting on an inheritance.
Edit: yes, sil is somewhat bossy. At least toward mil. Mil will not travel that extensively by herself.
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Not at all!
Well close quarters and travel can really open one’s eyes about another person. On the other hand, some people can be super nice while traveling and not very nice when not traveling (day to day grind). Fingers crossed your MIL is grounded enough not to be taken advantage of and SisIL finds her own way and makes some if her own friends.
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My grandma started dating a man about 18 months after grandpa died. They dated until grandma’s death about 10 years later. He died of a broken heart (we believe) about 6 weeks after her. They seem to have been happy together. Perhaps happier than she had ever been with grandpa.
I don’t see what the big deal is, but I would probably just ask her plainly if she has considered her finances before any kind of marriage agreement occurs.
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Not sure how this romance could go. But gotta say, reconnecting with an old flame on a transatlantic cruise (no bailout opportunity at stops at port) sounds crazy.
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I’m much more risk adverse than your MIL. Hope she and old flame have a nice time reconnecting.
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(This thread has made me think of your other thread or posts regarding little trips with MIL and SIL. Even though their lack of invitations to include you has led to some hurt feelings, I think you are better off not joining them.) 
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Yes!
I think I mentioned upthread that Bob and mil had agreed to not meet F2F until his divorce was final on May 31st. Mil leaves on that Temecula trip with sil and the two friends on June 10th. When we were visiting for Mother’s Day, mil had said there likely wasn’t time for them to get together before she left. I told dh if Bob made s F2F happen that was a big,“tell.” And, he is making it happen.
Sil has already said if that visit goes well mil will be on her phone texting him the entire time. I told sil that I wondered if he might try and talk her out of going altogether! Sil said she’d make mil pay her share of the VRBO anyway and mil wouldn’t do that. Too frugal. I asked, “What if Bob pays her share to get her out of going?”
Mil, sil, and I do a group Wordle/Quordle check-in each morning. And text about other things, too. Mil did NOT share the news of Bob’s visit. BTW, one of the friends going to Temecula is the one who told sil. Sil is stopping by mil’s this afternoon to chat about a flower bed. We’ll see if she tells her then. I think she’s afraid to.
OH! It’s about a 1.25 mile walk from my house to Bob’s CCC community. I measured today on my run. There is a trail behind it that I run on all the time.
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That’s great. If she ends up moving in with him, or even to the same community, you’ll be close enough to be a presence which is always a good thing.
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Could you imagine how not fun the Temecula trip will be if your MIL spends the entire time talking about Bob?
What about Bob?
Bob this
Bob that
Bob said this
Bob said that
on and on and on with no way to escape it except to drown it out with wine. 
What a blessing that you’re not going on that trip!
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