I hope the date / time line does come up in the meeting with the attorney drawing up the prenup. I think it would not be far fetched if SIL emails the attorney in advance of the meeting and mentions that MIL has not told the family when she is getting married, and it may be helpful if the attorney poses that question for planning purposes. The attorney may ask your MIL anyway, but this way, it is more certain. Just a thought.
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This cracks me up that you have been checking for marriage licenses.
You are a natural born sleuth! 
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Does the mother in law know you are checking for marriage licenses?
No, she does not.
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That’s very wise, especially as it sounds as if MIL is primed to reject what SIL says out of hand.
It would be helpful to the attorney (in preparing for the appointment) for SIL and/or DH to contact them beforehand: I/we wanted to give you a heads up before this meeting; my/our mother is resistant to any advice she hears from “the kids,” but we believe she’ll be open to accepting the advice when it comes from an attorney—even if it’s the same advice! So SIL/me will be using this type of phrasing, to help her stay focused on the advice YOU are giving and not reject it as coming from me/us.
Attorneys are very well versed in navigating clients like your MIL, but knowing that dynamic in advance (rather than needing to catch on in real time to how someone is attempting to shape the conversation) will make the meeting run most smoothly!
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I agree that it makes sense to cue the attorney beforehand so she can understand the dynamics and navigate them as skillfully as possible.
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Curious why you would ask this.
Wow - you get zero back? That is shocking to me! And they pay a monthly feel on top of that??
At my parents’ CCRC, when you move or “transcend”, the resident or the estate gets the amount put down minus 10%. Unless you run out of money to pay your monthly fee - then the CCRC goes into that initial deposit. And if that runs out, it is on the CCRC’s dime (and there is a benevolent fund but I am not sure how that works). So you can never get kicked out.
Just curious. In some states recordable
Satl
MN some states anybody cecord.an be tere ueste can be req.inothersuested by anyons
In other sta5es not everyone can access.incudinf a dautghter inl law
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The attorney represents the mother. He has to be very careful about accepting information or instruction from non-clients, even the children. He needs to make sure it isn’t a conflict of interest because the children here do have an interest.
SIL has to frame things very carefully when asking the attorney to ask certain questions. I think asking ‘what would you recommend’ is okay (if MIL is okay with it) but any “I think xxx’ is questionable territory.
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Agree.
I understand that the attorney represents mil.
The attorney is only there to give legal advice, too.
When both of my parents died when I was 24, I was engaged but not married - we did marry before the estates were finalized. At my last meeting with the attorney who handled their estates he said to me, “Hoggirl, Hogboy is a wonderful man. I have no doubt you two will have a long and happy marriage until death parts you. BUT, inherited property is not marital property, and my advice to you is not to commingle this inheritance with Hogboy.”
We are still going strong after 36 years, but I’m still glad he gave me and I followed that advice.
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I don’t know how similar a lawyer and a doctor might be, but my mother’s doctor’s nurse encouraged me to write an email that would be shared with the doctor before my mom’s appointment. I could see writing the lawyer a note not even being as specific as @blueberriesforsal I would write “We are thankful that MIL has a longtime trusted lawyer who can help guide her. Naturally, we as her children are concerned about the haste with which MIL is moving but know that you will give her and us clear answers with regard to X, Y and Z and what’s the best way to protect her legally, including whether she needs more details of Bob’s finances, which might be complicated as this would be his fifth marriage.” This gives the lawyer important facts she might not know without judgment. 
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How’re things going? I can’t believe this thread has been dormant for three days!
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Nothing much happening right now. Mil and Bob got back to her town yesterday (Monday).
Mil and sil meeting with the attorney on Thursday afternoon re: the pre-nup. I should have something to report after that. Will be interesting to see how that goes - especially curious if a time frame for a wedding date will be revealed.
Dh is waiting on mil to provide him with a couple of pieces of financial information to complete that aspect of her CCRC application. He emailed her what he needed on Sunday, and texted her to look for his email. She acknowledged his text. Scanning docs from her printer is a struggle for her. I told dh if she couldn’t do it, to tell her she could face time me from her iPad, and I’d walk her through how to scan documents and create a pdf with her iPhone. He’s not going to bug her - says she’s the one applying, not him. He doesn’t care when she gets her info in. Lol
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Yes, you would think discussion of a calendar date would come up in the pre-nup meeting. I hope your SIL doesn’t lose it when it does!
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Me, too!
I think they may be going out to lunch before the meeting.
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Somebody should read the prenup fine print carefully. For some reason, some of them have an expiration date - seemed odd to me.
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With Bob?
Yeah, they may not be talking after the meeting.
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