No. I’m quite certain Bob won’t be going to lunch with them. The appointment is at 1:30. They’ll go directly from lunch to the attorney’s meeting.
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Sorry, but I can’t help asking……what happened today with the lawyer and prenup discussion? Any reveal of the timeline?
Meeting is tomorrow - Thursday, September 25, at 1:30 pm!
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Oops, had the days mixed up. Next episode will air tomorrow! 
PS, tomorrow is one of my daughter’s anniversaries, so maybe that will bring positive vibes on all things “marital!”
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I’m sure not as much info as people want! Definitely not as much info as I want. Received the following text from sil about 45 minutes ago:
“Porch drinking with Friend L. All went well at lawyer’s office. I opened many cans of worms but not enough for her to be totally pissed.”
I asked how long they had been at the attorney’s office and if she’d learned a date or at least a timeframe. Sil has not replied. I’m not going to bug her. I feel certain she earned every single porch drink she is having right now!
I do wonder if mil knows sil is right down the road from her drinking with Friend L.
I’ll report back whenever sil tells me more.
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I agree, SIL may we a little time to absorb it all! She will share at the very least with your husband I would hope.
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Oh, she’ll share everything with both of us eventually. I doubt she’s talked to my dh yet either. I’m just not going to pressure her to tell me right this second. I imagine she’s pretty emotionally drained.
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She’s worn out from walking that tightrope!
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I really do feel for this situation. I know I’m that person who asks all the questions and tries to think of all of the stuff that might happen.
I feel that sometimes others don’t want to think about things at all. Magical thinking you know. It’s so easy to not have contingencies in case things don’t go perfectly.
Sil deserves that cocktail tonight. I’m sure she earned it!
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I remember discussions on these threads years ago about Magical Thinking with teens. But the phrase has certainly been running through my head recently when dealing with elderly parents.
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I think magical thinking can be ageless—sometimes the young, old and even those in the middle. “Wishing makes it so,” only works in Hallmark channel that most of us don’t live in.
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Talked to sil.
The attorney meeting was fine. Sil brought up some specific concerns about Bob on the drive back to mil’s home after that meeting.
Sil had to help mil with some tech issues so went into mil’s house when they got back. I guess there was some discussion at some point about getting Bob’s attorney’s name so mil’s attorney could get him the pre-nup for his review. Interestingly, Bob made some comment that there was no rush on that. Per Bob the more pressing issue was getting everything together for the CCRC. Sil just thought that was odd and wondered if Bob is the reason there is no announced wedding date??? When the attorney asked, mil just told her they had not yet set a date.
Now, sil could be reading too much into that, but Bob seems most interested in getting mil into the CCRC. And mil did say she needed to get, “settled there first.” Whose words are those, really??? We just are all suspicious about Bob’s motives and intentions.
I mean, we ALL think this is a better situation if mil doesn’t marry Bob, but if that is important to her, then she sure shouldn’t be moving forward with this buy-in process if he doesn’t intend to marry her! 
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What do you think are Bob’s unspoken intentions? Do you think he’ll get her there, slow-walk the pre-nup and marry her without one? Do you think there is more of a financial interest than originally thought? I’d rather they not get married!
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Yes, for Bob, the sooner he gets MIL there to pay buy in and 50%, the sooner he’ll have more free money he’s currently paying to CCRC. He probably figures once she’s with him 24/7 he’ll get her under his spell & magnetic personality.
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I don’t think he has an issue with a pre-nup. He had one with wife#4.
Allegedly, wife # 4’s adult kids did not want her to marry Bob. He has told mil he doesn’t want to be in that situation again. Bob is aware of sil’s lack of approval. He has said he is happy to sit down and talk with her. I don’t think she’s inclined to do that.
It may be a big nothing burger. The plan has been that mil would do her buy-in next week, so that is the priority at the moment.
Sil’s theory that maybe Bob doesn’t actually want to marry may be her own form of magical thinking.
Do you think your mom would be willing to live with him and not be married?
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Also, wife no. 4 didn’t pay half of the monthly fee, right? Seems like she and your MIL are getting treated differently.
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Idk if mil would be willing to do that or not. When I asked her after the crossing is she moved into the CCRC if she would marry Bob she told me that she would. When I asked why she would feel the need to do that she said because of her, “upbringing.”
Apparently, there are some couples at the CCRC who do live in sin.
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I blame this on mil. She offered that - to pay half. I think it was a point of pride/bragging on her part. Her words: “Bob said wife #4 only paid _____%, but I told him I would pay half.” Just the way she said it sounded, “superior,” if that makes any sense. Sort of, “I’m better than #4 because I can afford to pay more.” Now THAT could be my imagination.
I think Wife#4 paid around 20%.
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You know your MIL; we don’t. But that sounds like something my mom would’ve done, too. She liked feeling superior.
I’m sorry. 
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