So now I know that it’s you my two-timing husband is married to!
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Reminds me of when my DH takes his diuretic and then complains cause he has to pee a lot.
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I can see that a marriage license was issued yesterday. You can search the marriage records by, “issue,” “marriage,” or, “recorded,” date. The issue date is listed as yesterday, but it did not appear on the website until today. Because I looked last night. Neither the marriage or recorded categories has a date.
I truly suspect they went down to the clerk’s office having no officiant arranged expecting someone to be able to marry them. Everyone has said, “He’s been married so many times, surely he knows how it works??” But, I think with all the others there was probably a bit of a ceremony (just speculating) so there was a planned delay. The others marriages happened about three days after the licenses were issued. So, I bet they went down there intending to also GET married but couldn’t. I bet the clerk’s office gave them a list of the 8 or 9 people who officiate. I know this is much speculating on my part. But, I KNOW they have had a license issued.
She told no one they were going to get the license. She has not said anything about a date for getting married. When I asked when the rescheduled date from Monday would be, her reply was, “Not sure but soon.” She has not even told her siblings of the buy-in at the CCRC and that she plans to sell her house and move.
I don’t know if they will get married today and tell us tomorrow at our Thanksgiving lunch out. I doubt if they get married today that it will appear on the website today, since there was a one day lag in the license being visible online. But, I’m checking for it.
Y’all keep saying what a, “good,” dil I’ve been. I think I must be fooling you, because whenever and whatever she announces, it’s going to be really hard for me not to flatly say, “Oh, yeah. I knew you got the license on the 25th. It’s public record.”
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BREAKING!
Mil just texted our immediate family - dh, sil, ds, dear nephew, and me that they picked up the license yesterday.
Had a retired judge recommended to perform the ceremony. Makes house calls and is going TODAY to marry them at 2:00 pm.
So far, no one has responded on that group text - lol. It’s like a big ol’ stand off
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I really hope someone can say something b at least neutral like I hope you will be very happy together.
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Big hug. You are going to get through this. I think one thing that might help you cope/maintain your equilibrium is to remind yourself that her first marriage is likely more challenging than your H or SIL realized. And that might push you over the edge and allow you to feel happy for her- despite the tsunami of aggravation you see coming. The widows I know who were in life-affirming, generous/soul mate type relationships are often NOT eager for another relationship, let alone a marriage. They make new friends if nobody in their circle wants to get an opera series like the late husband; they take photography classes at the local Y if that was something they always wanted to do but H was never interested. But by and large, they aren’t eager to be married again.
So maybe your MIL is truly trying to achieve something we all want…. and how great for her that right now she feels like she has it.
Challenging for the family, for sure.
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@MMRose - I don’t disagree, but I don’t think I should be the one to say anything first. I think dh or sil should.
@blossom - oh, believe me - I witnessed what an unhappy marriage her first one was. I will be thrilled if this truly makes her happy. But, we see very similar characteristics in Bob that my fil had - controlling, patriarchal, some narcissism, etc.
It is what it is.
She is now texting all of us again along with the extended family.
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Oh dear. Unless she was previously estranged from her siblings, it really seems to not bode well that she hasn’t told them.
She may know in the back of her mind that it isn’t a good idea to rush into any of this, and it possibly sounds like she may not be telling them, because these are the people who’ve known her the longest in her life, and they may not respond with the same rose colored glasses she’s gripping.
I’m so sorry, this has been such a stress for your family. And I really do hope everything works out for her, it just….sigh.
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I think by Sunday you’ll all be relieved it is over. At this point it is just a stresser that the wedding is pending, delayed from Monday, but going to happen so be thankful it’s over (as of 2 pm).
I think you should congratulate yourselves that you did what you could to make the marriage as ‘safe’ as you could from a legal standpoint. I hope they have several happy years together.
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Saying ‘something neutral’ could be responding with something like ‘Wow, that’s some big news!’
It acknowledges that you read the text, but communicates neither approval or disapproval. 
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Wasn’t one of the original plans to have the ceremony at her house? With an officiant who makes house calls, I guess that’s possible. Did MIL even say where the wedding will take place? If not, sounds like no one is invited in the end!
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It’s a done deal. I hope family calls her or texts her back, wishing them all the best or something similar. No response would seem hurtful. I realize you don’t want to be the first, but maybe get your husband to be first and follow up right after?
The bottom line is that MIL is happy (hopefully).
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Guessing that family politics will determine who should respond first.
I think that a message like “Wishing you two a life together filled with happiness and love” or something to that effect is both kind and honest. You aren’t (or shouldn’t be!) wishing them otherwise, nor do YOU have to be (or say you are) happy about it.
What a whirlwind this has been! And there will almost certainly be drama going forward which will have to be navigated. For purely selfish reasons, I am looking forward to hearing what’s next, as this story reminds me that people and life are full of surprises.
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I would text back….”but will you still be bringing the pecan pie tomorrow?”
(Just trying to put a smile on your face!)j
Not trying to win any prizes, but this is what i predicted when they postponed the first date- that they would just without warning (or much warning) they would just do it. Because there is really no intent on either of their part (or one of them was strongly against) to have any family there.
I agree with the others to be thankful for all you accomplished in terms of financial stuff and keeping the family “somewhat” intact. I wonder if this will give Bob another leg to stand on regarding selling her house, her stuff.
And I HOPE your Thanksgiving goes ok! Remember, tomorrow is for everyone - and that’s the way you intended it WITH INVITES for everyone. Toast them, hug them (if you like), but remember the day is for everyone. 
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That was scrapped a while back. They are currently in our town at the CCRC. The retired judge was going there. No one was invited. Sil suggested (when she was asked) that they do something with just the two of them.
We were not included on the extended family text. Mil just copied and pasted what she sent them. Which did NOT tell them it was happening today.
I appreciate the sentiment and advice, but I am not going to nag at my husband to text his mother. Nothing in that for me!
My ds was the only one who did anything. Sent a thumbs up. Which was probably good because at least she knows it was received.
My sil said she was not responding to her text.
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A thumbs up from GS is perfect response!
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6 months you’ve had to be dealing with this. So now it’s over. In my opinion however, now the drama begins for her at the new place, his pushy behavior, and the gossip.
it will be interesting to see what comes next.
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Here’s hoping it’s smooth sailing from now on. And from what @Hoggirl has said, the prenup is signed and if it doesn’t work out and her house is sold, she has the means to purchase something more appropriate for a late-80s person, in either area. Best to the bride and groom. And happy Thanksgiving to all.
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Yes, it does sound like MIL needed to find a new place to live so maybe this will fit the bill for some time.
When I officiated weddings, I’d often go wherever the couple was wanting to get married as well. That’s not uncommon.