<p>SPS…revenge…if you mean breaking up with him because he was talking to another girl (and possibly more) saying he wanted to “hook up” with them is revenge then so be it. Why does it seem that his actions are ok…just because he a high school boy??? Should there not there be some consequences for his actions so he can learn from his mistakes and not carry this into his grown up relationships and possibly future marriage one day? I know that sounds a little dramatic but think about it. People do not change that much from college til the time they graduate and he is leaving for college in the fall meaning he has 4 years to grow a conscience.</p>
<p>SharonD,
I think your daughter is reacting correctly to breakup. She can’t change him. She can only do what’s best for herself. He’s operating on his hormones right now, it has nothing to do with her. I’d be hard pressed to find a warm-blooded american 17/18 year old man who would not turn his head at an available tail, with or without a sweet nice girlfriend. Hopefully he won’t end up taking something home with him.</p>
<p>ag…interesting you should bring this up because I don’t know if this true but he tm D last night and told her one of the ways he was going to “win her trust back” was by telling his mother that D had broken up with him and why. He told D that his mom looked at him and said “I love you…BUT THAT IS THE STUPIDEST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE!!!”</p>
<p>You know, all of this reminds me of that story where after a date, the girl calls her friend and starts ruminating over all that was said on the date, the hidden meanings and motivations behind them, what the body language of the guy was, etc. then you flash to the guy and he is only thinking about ordering pizza and watching a game on tv.</p>
<p>I have to say that it is much easier being a boy mom. We don’t have to think too much; and certainly don’t have to project about anyone else’s future but our own children’s ;)</p>
<p>OMG SharonD the next thing you know the mom will be at your door!</p>
<p>I did not mean breaking up was revenge. I was talking about the speaker phone, your seeming delight in showing him the door “for the last time” and the other dramatic elements in the story that lead to “having fun at his expense.”</p>
<p>It almost sounds as though the familes expected them to marry. Do you by chance live somewhere with heavy religious influences? As someone else said, this is a high school romance for christ sake!!None of my friends thinks there’s a remote possibility that they will marry their HS bf!! We’re thinking about college, grad school, careers, travel, and anything but weddings. Hook ups and far more common than relationships these days, my mother sent me an interesting article on this.</p>
<p>ag…LOL…never seen the commercial but sounds funny so I’ll watch for it. Can’t agree with you on the part about it being easier being a boys’ mom though but you know that always depends on how your OWN experience with your son or daughter is/was. When our son called this weekend and talked to D and she told she broke up with bfriend and why…son said, “OMG he sounds just like me at that age”!!! He finally grew up after several nice, smart girls tossed him aside for his lack of conscience and inability to think straight due to his hormone surge and now he is engaged to be married next spring.</p>
<p>doubleplay…I guess that could happen and if so that is fine. I would be very happy to discuss this with her if she feels the need but I would never initiate that.</p>
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<p>Bingo! You hit the jackpot! That pretty much describes what happens to most red-blooded males including, I’m sure, my husband back in his teen years. Thank God I met him in his later twenties. I probably would have had my heart broken by him if I had met him before he had been kicked to the curb a time or two!</p>
<p>SPS…the speaker phone comment was a joke, but showing him the door was a true delight…actually my husband wanted to toss him OUT the door but we just planted some new flowers and I really didn’t want him to flatten them.</p>
<p>As far as your comment about religion…actually we do live in the South if that’s what you mean but I believe that you can find Christians everywhere so don’t pick on us Southerners. D attended private Christian school for years but we took her out when we discovered the rules were only meant for certain people and BTY…the C in Christ is captalized. </p>
<p>I read an article in our local paper the other day about the new meaning of “hooking up” and it is now what we used to call a “one night stand”…is that what you are refering to? We did not expect them to marry because we think she can do better but why do so many people seem to think that is impossible these days? Is this what are our youth are coming to or is my D becoming the exception to the rule? Good gosh I hope not!</p>
<p>SharonD, maybe you could get your daughter a gift. I’d suggest a Fiske Guide and A is for Admission. Help her understand that those represent her future, not a guy.</p>
<p>Hooking up does not mean sleeping with necessarily and yes, I think your daughter is an exception if she can not respect someone who occassionally has a drink.</p>
<p>Yes it is indeed becoming more and more commonplace to “hookup.” Which is why there is such a big push for all women/girls to get the human papilloma vaccine starting at, what, age 11 or something? The CDC knows something we may not, which is that this thing is going to be widespread.</p>
<p>Lots of casual teen male bashing here. I don’t quite get it. To think that this is all reduced to teen males and their hormones seems to say that teen males cannot think well or be trusted in general.</p>
<p>ag…hence the reason for THE break-up. She has a good reputation and wants to keep it…it is important to HER to stay pure until she meets the right guy…all you liberals out there please notice I did NOT say marriage although that would be fine with me but that has to be her decision. </p>
<p>While we are on that subject let me interject that at her last doctors’ appt. for a sports physical, her doctor who is female shoved a pamphlet in my face explaining about a new vaccination (sp?) called Guardisal that protects against the HPV. It is highly recommended for females between the ages of 9 and 26 I believe…that’s right I said 9. She said unless D is planning on becoming a nun she should consider it because the HPV is linked to cervical cancer late on in life.</p>
<p>hazmat, in my experience of mom and wife (and my lifetime of being a woman), it’s always seemed like girls have an easier time saying no than boys.</p>
<p>hazmat…some can but most cannot…something about them hormones I guess that just drives them crazy…just ask them. My husband claims that those years are wasted on the young and it should be the other way around…LOL.</p>
<p>SharonD, Yes, it is linked to cervical cancer. It is venereal warts. Obviously the medical community believes this will be so widespread as to merit complete vaccination of the entire female population, so what does that tell us?
When I was in my teens, I’d never even heard of it.</p>
<p>SPS…you are missing the point here, please stay focused…by the way are you a college student or an adult…I mean parent? This is about underage drinking not about a casual drink or even social drinking which is very different. As far as D and her future, no need to worry there as she has always wanted to be a teacher and will be pursuing a degree in education and already has it narrowed down to five or six colleges she plans to apply to. She is very aware that her future does not depend on having a guy in her life…I doubt there are any females that still believe that…LOL.</p>
<p>doubleplay…that is exactly what our doctor said and she wasn’t too pleased that D didn’t get the vaccination the day we were there but she was already getting a tetanus shot and 2 others I cannot remember what they were called but one was to prepare her immune system for dorm life and all the germs (I could jokingly say boys but that would be mean) she will encounter from people from all over the world that room in the same dorm with her. They actually offered that at her HS this year but I wanted to ask our doctor about it first. All of this info. can be found on the internet.</p>
<p>Sharon, your concern and involvement in her love life is a little scary. I’m with SPS on this one: it’s only a high school romance! And you do seem to be taking pleasure in the fact that your pure and “gorgeous” daughter has dumped him and that her moral high ground will teach him a lesson in consequences. Gee, if you had wanted to teach him that lesson, she could have–and should have–done that long ago by refusing to go out with him at all. He was honest about his behavior and you were aware of HIS reputation! Knowing now that you’re a Christian, I’m confused about why (if you are choosing to be involved in these matters, which you clearly are), you would have even agreed to this relationship all. I would have forbidden my D to date a boy known to date loose girls.</p>
<p>Also, I agree with SPS on the point that the fact that his relatives are wonderful and all that other stuff is not good enough. As a Christian, you should know that salvation and godly living is through a personal decision and is not accorded to us by virtue of our family’s faith.</p>