<p>My son and his friends are pushing more to have student reach out to parents and to a lawyer. My son would not make that call to friend’s parents but does strongly encourage. Student in question just thinks he is invincible. In the last hour, he agreed to call his parents but we will see if he does. He had also said he would last night then did not. In the meantime, law enforcement trying to get more information from his-photos and journals.</p>
<p>Does the FBI investigate term paper services? 
It is hard to imagine anything that they would investigate that would not involve criminal activity in some way.</p>
<p>Consolation, clearly it was a poor choice of words on my part. Anything they investigate would be criminal. But…because one is investigated for a crime doesn’t mean what was done was a criminal act.</p>
<p>I read all the responses and went back to my initial response, before I read anything … I’d ask my son whether he wants me to talk to his friend and try to persuade him to call his parents and seek legal counsel. I’m just not sure I’d make the leap to call the parents, but I’m a firm believer in kids don’t know what they don’t know and that sometimes they NEED an adult to give them direction. </p>
<p>Depending on the specifics I learn from the kid, that might influence my decision to call the parents. My ds2 knew that if I learned about underage drinking and driving in HS I would totally rat his friends out to their parents, who often were my friends. But once they are 18 and in college, I’m not sure I’d call up strangers to tell them about their kid.</p>
<p>I’m not giving any advice specific to the situation specifically, but to the whole thing of young people legally adults, but still children in terms of maturity and ability to function. Once age 18, these “kids” have the freedom to spit in a parent’s face and walk out the door and do pretty much as they please. There isn’t a state in the country that won’t let them marry, and they are legally bound to contracts, and other than drinking, car rentals, and college fin aid/indep, they are adults. If you look at ALL of the young people in this country, not the select ones who are going under the college umbrellas, many of them are operating as adults at age 18, a number of them because their parents are done with them. The parents have enough other issues in life and just do not want to deal with the complications and needs that so many young adults have. </p>
<p>So those kids who have the opportunity to go to college and are still under the parental umbrellas are ever so privileged. Young people do make a lot of mistakes due to their inexperience and immaturity. And those who have parents and others to guide them, direct them, step in for them when things get rough, financially help out, open doors for them are lucky, lucky, lucky. It’s not that the police, FBI, whatever are just zooming in on the young person; they’ll do the same to anyone who wants an attorney before saying word one. They do NOT want you to have an attorney there because that is the end of the info flow once the attorney is on the scene 99.9999% of the time. So, yes, they will push and try to shame you, cajole you, scare you into talking, saying anything. Read carefully the words of the Miranda warning. There is a very good reason that it is REQUIRED for that to be given. But then the authorities do not have to go by it once given, other than allow a person, most of the time to make that phone call. </p>
<p>So, it’s not just kids who need help when in a hot spot. I wouldn’t have an idea what to do if I were picked up on some serious charges, and especially if innocent, would be highly tempted to tell anything I know and open my everything to the authorities which may well not be in my best interests or that of my family. I KNOW what I have done or not done, but with computers and and all going on, most of us who have people coming in our home, our kids and their friends, have no ideas for certain what could be on the computers, in the house. It may well not be in your best interest to open the doors and let the authorities have Carte Blanche. But many of US do not have criminal attorneys or have any idea who to call if we get a knock on our doors and there is trouble that somehow led the authorities to our door steps. </p>
<p>So, the best ANY of us can do, is to tell our children, and our spouses and OURSELVES, that if there seems to be big trouble, that getting someone who knows the law, the pitfalls, the process, the situation better than we do, to get help before doing ANYTHING, saying ANYTHING. </p>
<p>It was a very sad day in my life.when I had to tell my kids that the police are not their friends, and that if anything of this sort happens, to keep their mouths shut other than to tell them they do want to make that phone call, and to call us. Though we have been fortunate that no big trouble has happened, that has not been the case for a number of their peers, and for some of them, the outcomes were not good and not entirely deserved. We have a family member who served time primarily for stupidity and cooperation, not the criminality of what he did. I get a hurt when I think about this guy, whose life, yes, is ruined as he’s not all that bright and able as it is. That strike is pretty much it for him.</p>
<p>Dowzer, kids think that anything involving intellectual property isn’t a crime- nobody gets hurt, it’s cheap and easy to do late at night, “everyone does it”. All the more reason why the friends are in the best position to persuade the kid to tell his parents and get a lawyer. It is plausible that the kid unkonwingly did something which in fact is a criminal act. But the earlier he fesses up with a lawyers help, the easier it will be for him to claim that it was unwitting and accidental. Coming forward six months from now after the FBI has assembled a boat load of evidence, identified co-conspirators, etc. it’s going to be hard to claim it was an innocent prank which went South, or a dumb mistake which the kid didn’t realize was against the law.</p>
<p>Why would anybody think, once they are under the eye of the FBI, that they can handle this alone? Bad judgment.</p>
<p>DS#1 knew someone from one of his summer internships who apparently got caught up as a smalltime dealer. Cops brought him in and tried to get him to turn over the names of the suppliers. He felt he was in a lose-lose situation- either arrested for his smalltime dealing or at risk of repercussion from the suppliers if he told. Sadly, he took matters into his own hands. Another tragic suicide.</p>
<p>No, your son doesn’t want to call. He’s more clueless than you about what to do or say in this situation. Heck, you’re asking CC what to do for a consensus. I think being a third party AND a parent makes it much easier and more appropriate to make a call. You are making a call as a concerned parent who wants the best for another’s child. And just because one is over 18 doesn’t make one less of a child.<br>
The law is not his friend in this case–they are on a fact finding mission. I don’t know if the kid is guilty of anything or not but innocent people find themselves accused and in trouble all the time. You can’t save the kid from his troubles, you can’t hire an attorney for him, but you can make a phone call to his parents and alert them hopefully putting the ball in their court.</p>
<p>My immediate reaction to this, and someone may have raised this already, is to think of the college-age friends/roommates of the two young men (then aged 19 and 27) who bombed the finish line of the Boston Marathon last year. Did <em>that</em> 19-year-old know what he was doing? Should the FBI question him? Should his parents get involved? At what point? </p>
<p>I notice JYM spoke of Aaron Schwartz… He was 26 when he killed himself. There’s a difference.</p>
<p>YouDontSay–I wouldn’t call parents for underage drinking, immoral behavior, oh, lots of stuff…I would call them when I find out they’ve been ARRESTED with possibility of jail, suspension, expulsion, or when the FEDS show up at my kids dorm. And the parents may be strangers but the son is friends with the kid–there is a vested interest. </p>
<p>I would want to know if it were my child, but honestly this situation sounds like something to just steer clear of. It sounds like there are plenty of people aware of the situation in the dorm, and if your son told you, most likely other parents know as well. My hesitation in making the call is that the boy himself said he does not want to inform his parents. Having your son make that call would be a mistake, and would most likely jeopardize a friendship that he values.</p>
<p>You said the boy was a “genius” so perhaps he has his own strategy. I feel the best you can do is have your son emphasize to his friend that an attorney would be useful here.</p>
<p>Sure it may be a chicken way out, but you could always forward them a link to this thread.</p>
<p>Can’t the kid hire or get through legal aid a lawyer himself? I get not wanting to call the parents, but the reason to call the parents is to make sure that the student gets a lawyer. Shouldn’t that be the focus if he is set on not telling his parents?</p>
<p>Why is there a difference whether the person being investigated by the feds is 19 or 26? That age range has a very high suicide rate, unfortunately</p>
<p>The university’s legal aid rep is apparently out for two weeks. (??) Supposedly he called his parents an hour ago. I hope he did…</p>
<p>I have been prepping my kids since they were children to never talk to the police, never allow them in their vehicle or house, never allow them to conduct a search, and to always request an attorney beyond giving id. My 6 year old may look at me puzzled, but my 17 year old understands.</p>
<p>Besides saving for tuition, we saved money for life insurance and legal representation for our kids. Some police units are out of control and can potentially ruin your children’s future. So have them prepared. The OP is right, they are adults and will be treated as such. But they are unprepared.</p>
<p>How about making a call to the Adult Resident Assistant (I think most dorms or groups of dorms have one adult that all the RA’s report to). Ask them if they knew this conversation occured and see if they might check in with your son (I don’t think you could ask them to check in with another student) to see if he or anyone else may need advice/</p>
<p>I’ve mentioned this before (in fact I first heard about it on CC)–there is a series of videos on youtube called “Don’t Talk to the Cops” which are excellent. They are done by a law professor and a police detective. There is another set of youtube videos along the same line done by the ACLU. Great stuff. I made my kids watch them. They show how to handle possible situations which a young adult especially may run into (cop pulls you over for speeding with friends in the car, house party etc), how to remain respectful but maintain your rights. And they show quite clearly how you can get in trouble even though you may be totally innocent.</p>
<p>Hadn’t heard of those. Thanks. I will share with my kids and encourage my son to make sure his friend looks at it. </p>
<p>Hoping the parents are headed over today. Really a sh*** time, with exams having started yesterday.</p>
<p>The student in question is not a Tsaranev but because of Tsaranev’s and others, is being subjected to excessive scrutiny. I am all for flushing out the bad guys but it is interesting to be on the other side of misdirected zeal.</p>
<p>Hadnt thought of the RA’s RA and just knew the RA wouldn’t be the right person. Will look in to that. Thanks again, all.</p>
<p>My friend’s son was drinking too much, and his friends called the parents. They took action ASAP. They were grateful for the call.
So, my thought, have your son and another 1 or 2 friends call the parents. There is strength in numbers.</p>