<p>I’m not familiar with the norms of this kind of party, but contemplate how much fun it is to go to a party focused around dancing and have no one to dance with. Not much. The solution, if you really cannot include dates, is to have sufficient singles of both sexes, AND to get men who came with dates to ask single women to dance. Or vice versa. Perhaps you can delegate someone to discreetly encourage men to circulate as dance partners during the party. (Or women. But in my experience, there are usually more single females wanting to dance than males.)</p>
<p>I don’t think some of you are understanding that there are families where there simply wouldn’t BE a lot of children to invite. If I were to be called upon to host a wedding tomorrow for one of my children - there’s only one child that would BE on the guest list, and that would be my 8 yo niece. We don’t HAVE oodles of uncles and aunts and cousins and so forth. My children only have 4 cousins - 3 of whom are young adults around their age and then the 8 yo. What other children would I possibly invite on our side?</p>
<p>Consolation - agree, but I also have seen well-mannered married men make an effort to dance (platonically of course!) with single women. Not the whole evening, and not to the exclusion of their wives, of course.</p>
<p>We had all the children at the rehearsal dinner, at the ceremony and during the cocktail hour. It was only the reception they were not included, which didn’t start until 9:30 and went until 1:30am. It was totally unnecessary for any kid under 13 to be there and it gave the parents a chance a have a fun evening without kids hanging all over them/whining all night.</p>
<p>I went to a Mormon wedding once (the bride was a college friend of mine - she had converted - the groom had been raised Mormon). Of course there was no alcohol or dancing - that was fine, it was still a lovely reception in an arts club. But my husband made the mistake of asking the waiter for coffee, forgetting where he was. Oops!</p>
<p>Exactly. I’m kind of perplexed that people would think an under 13 yo would think that such an event was “fun.” I could see a special treat for a handful of kids very close to the bride / groom. I’m also kind of perplexed that people are so surprised by the concept that adults might want to have a grown-up-style-dinner. I know that when I was raising my kids, in hindsight, I didn’t do ENOUGH grown-up-style-dinners with just my husband and other adults, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have made more of an effort to do just that.</p>
<p>“I’m not familiar with the norms of this kind of party, but contemplate how much fun it is to go to a party focused around dancing and have no one to dance with.”</p>
<p>With all the line dances, group type dances, etc., I wouldn’t think it would be such a big deal to not have a date. jmo though.</p>
<p>We travelled to SLC to attend our Mormon nanny’s wedding. Obviously we didn’t attend the sealing ceremony in the temple, but that afternoon there was a ring ceremony in her parent’s backyard (her dad was the current bishop of their ward, so he presided), followed by punch, food & cake. It was lovely & lots of fun to meet her family & friends.</p>
<p>H’s family is from Baltimore and a few family weddings I attended there had ‘buckets of beer’. Each table had a 2 quart plastic tub on it that is filled at the tap and brought back to the table, where everyone dips 10oz plastic cups into it to drink from.</p>
<p>Yes, pizza I understand not having a lot of kids. There’s a total of five grandchildren on my mom’s side ranging in age from 18-30 something. I know what it’s like to have a small family. I just asked a simple question because it was something I was unfamiliar with. Again, sorry.</p>
<p>PG, I know what you mean. My husband’s brother and SIL had a black tie evening wedding and the reception was at a country club. My S was about 2 at the time, and the other brother had a D who was about 6. That was it for young kids, except for the D of the brother’s GF. They actually offered to have S in the church, but I said it wasn’t a good idea, since I would be sitting in the front row with my widowed FIL and could not rely upon S to be silent. So we hired a babysitter to take care of the three kids at FIL’s house. They ate pizza, watched a movie or two, and were much happier.</p>
<p>If S married tomorrow, there would be 3 HS students, one 12 yr old, a 9 yr old, a 6 yr old, and a pair of 3-yr olds on my side of the family. I would not be at all miffed if only the oldest were included as guests. (Although the 9 yr old, as a diva in training, would probably enjoy it! )</p>
<p>NJ2011mom - the wedding that I’m referring to - similar situation, we didn’t attend the wedding in the temple (nor did any of the bride’s family - just the groom’s family), but just the reception. It was quite lovely, no question - it was at an arts club and they had a harpist and nice lunch. However, it was disheartening when the bride’s family members - who had traveled a long way (the bride’s hometown was 1000 miles away) - were literally crying in the ladies’ room because they hadn’t seen her actually get married. I felt bad for them. It must have been emotionally very rough for them. Thing is - there was both a church and a temple here - it was my understanding they could have gotten married in the church with non-Mormons attending, and then later that day, or the next day, they could have done the “sealed for life” thing with just the Mormon side attending. The groom’s side was from rural Missouri, and they did their own weddings in churches and then saved up to visit the temple in the big city and do the “seailng for life” there.</p>
<p>No chicken dance or electric slide zoosermom? It feels semi-ironic now but still happening. And a whole lot better than the simulated sex acts on the dancefloor type stuff.</p>
No, and I’m not sure why. My niece’s was a total one-off. This is how her group of urban “sophisticates” parties every weekend and they missed the point of the woman in the white dress.</p>
<p>"Exactly. I’m kind of perplexed that people would think an under 13 yo would think that such an event was “fun.”</p>
<p>I was only at one wedding as a child, my eldest cousins 2nd. I was about 9 or 10 and the wedding was at one of the hotels on Central Park S. I was bored to tears and with another young cousin spent the entire time riding the elevator up and down. I sure the hotel guests were thrilled. ;)</p>
<p>I went to a few weddings as a child. They stand out in my mind as special events. I loved the ceremony, the dressing up. Though I personally had little experience of it, learning to behave, to dress appropriately, to express the appropriate congratulations can be a useful part of socialization. Not that the bride and groom should necessarily have to pay for meals for a child, but a little ceremony and the discussions surrounding the event can be positive.</p>
<p>Note to self: tell the D’s that if they want us to help with costs for a wedding, there will be no pre-printed thank you cards. :)</p>
<p>We have one especially difficult older relative. What finally pushed me over the edge with him was at a lovely sit-down dinner for about 30 people at our home in honor of the 80th birthdays of some other relatives. He initially grumped around, turning away offers of (really delicious) appetizers, drink, conversation or even watching a montage of photos about the honorees. Then he started making remarkably inappropriate and racist comments about “Mexican” students in our school district (another guest who was a current teacher swiftly shut him down). It was then 6:45, with dinner called for 7…and he started hollering that he was tired of waiting for food and he was going to leave and find something to eat somewhere else. It was like watching a 4 year old have a tantrum, except this was an 85 year old man. It wasn’t by any means the first time we’d seen him have a tantrum, but never in this kind of formal setting. </p>
<p>If the group were larger, the spouse and I would’ve strong-armed him outside, suggested that it might be best if he left, and driven him and his wife home. With the group we had, that would’ve been more disruptive than ignoring him. It’s a testament to all of the other guests (ranging in age from 8 to 90) that they ignored him. Well, except for his wife, who has never figured out over the decades that the best way to deal with his tantrums is the same way one deals with a child’s tantrums–not rewarding the tantrum-thrower with attention.</p>
<p>Family invites to that particular couple pretty much dropped off the cliff entirely after that party. :)</p>
<p>This is a “sweet-15” party, and from what I understand most of the dancing does not require a partner. (And maybe it would be best to discourage the ones that do, at least those booty in his crotch ones!) Only a handful of the young people will bring dates. Besides, my observation is that women of all ages often end up dancing on their own or in a group. BTW, the main offender who was complaining about having no one to dance with is a young man in his 20s. Most guests will be younger, but there will be a few unattached young women of college age.</p>
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