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Cobrat I think ou are confusing several posts. This was a dinner. Not a wedding.</p>
<p>Perhaps its time to stop mincing OF’s post.I’ll share a gem from my BIL to redirect things and put this in perspective.</p>
<p>Let me get something to eat first. This will be draining…</p>
<p>This is what I was taught:</p>
<p>Jane calls me up and invites me to dinner (next month, next week, or that very night) and I respond, “I’d love to, but my friend Sue is visiting.” Jane then either responds, “Have a wonderful time with Sue and we’ll get together another time” or “Please bring Sue. We’d love to include her.” I do not suggest Jane invite Sue. I do not even say, “Sue has always wanted to meet you.”</p>
<p>re. Oldfort’s experience. In that scenario, I would have expected the new wife to take care of the bill. It would make me think less of her, but I might give her a second chance and see if she had other redeeming qualities 
In my social circle, the person issuing the invitation to a restaurant dinner not only pays but makes an effort to take care of the check out of sight of the table. If possible the credit card info is given when the invitation is made or after the host makes some excuse and leaves the table.</p>
<p>A group of friends recently started a once a week lunch group. The first few weeks, everyone was grabbing for the check to treat the others. Those that “lost” were throwing all the cash they had on them on the table for the tip. We are going to a wide variety of restaurants. Those that “lost” were upset if they ended up paying for the next cheap restaurant when they had been treated to a much more expensive meal. We had to all stop, take a breath, get sensible and agree to go dutch. It seems I am very fortunate in my friends based on some of these posts.</p>
<p>Well, ironically I’ve previously posted a truncated version of one of my BIL stories in response to a post by oldfort in a previous thread a year or so ago. Here it is:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/12928829-post12.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/12928829-post12.html</a> There is more to that one particular story. Again, giving more details will require additional sustenance on my part</p>
<p>I would never assume that the inviter is paying for the meals of the invitees. My assumption would be everyone pays for their own check. Most of the people I know would simply never eat out with friends otherwise–wouldn’t be able to afford it.</p>
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<p>If they ever come again, you should fill all the bottles with laxatives.</p>
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Theres a plan. However, I need to be sure the laxatives don’t take effect until LONG AFTER they are gone. They have a talent for staying hours and hours and hours longer than they claimed, in order to sleep in, take care of the latest malady, do their laundry, eat our food, steal our medicines, you name it.</p>
<p>No outrageous guest requests come to mind, but how about strange comments? An in-law once said that our brand new dining room set was “nondescript”. Ouch! I’m still amused by that when I think of it. Seriously?</p>
<p>Ohiomom-
would you like my BIL and his family to come visit for a few days? Then you’ll have lots of stories to contribute :)</p>
<p>Ok, the worst unexpected guest to a party, I think this one takes the cake. A friend was throwing a formal sit down dinner for 10+ people. The husband asked the wife if she could include his assistant and a frined. The wife didn’t know at first, but it turned out the assistant was the husband’s mistress. What made it worse was some husbands at the party knew. They were horrified and they told their wifes, so very quickly everyone knew. Had to give the wife some credit, she made it through without causing a scene. Needless to say, they are no longer married.</p>
<p>oldfort, I’m not sure if it was the assistant who was the bad guest or the husband who was a bad host!</p>
<p>Arm-chair psychology would tell you the husband was ready to be caught…and a terrible host.</p>
<p>Oldfort,
Your story wins!!!</p>
<p>I actually know someone who is in the midst of this exact situation and it is beyond horrible.
Everyone knew but her (well, now she knows but she did not know during the party).<br>
Some people truly are cads.</p>
<p>Oh my. Now my BIL doesnt sound so bad!!</p>
<p>Here’s a good example of a clueless comment: I told a friend/colleague what I’d named my baby and he said, “You’re kidding, right?”.</p>
<p>We named both of our sons fairly traditional names. When we told my BIL what we had named the second one, he said, “oh,the colonial theme.”</p>
<p>Nathanial and Benjamin?</p>
<p>Well, I’d rather not say but good guess. The one name you mentioned is more often spelled Nathaniel.
geeps,They’re both on this list.
<a href=“http://www.wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_common_colonial_names[/url]”>www.wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_common_colonial_names</a></p>
<p>Rude comments? My D looks just like me (dark curly hair, brown eyes). S looks just like dad (blond and blue-eyed). Once a total stranger asked me if he was adopted (H was not with us). I said “No the milkman is a blond.”</p>
<p>It is unbelievable what some total strangers can ask. I was standing in a line in McDonald’s years ago with my toddler younger son in my arms (very blonde and blue eyed) and the woman behind me asked me if he was an albino!!! I kid you not. Her friend was mortified.
Same BIL mentioned above adopted a child from Guatemala. We were with them when a total stranger on the street asked him if she was from China! Hello???</p>
<p>I admit I wasn’t young when I had my son, but I didn’t like being asked if he was my grandson. Why do strangers need to know that?</p>