<p>I think people who have strict dietary restrictions should either make it known way in advance (like NOT the day of the meal) or bring along something they can eat. I always do ask now, as the hostess, if people have restrictions, allergies, preferences, etc., but it has really been awkward at times when people have shown up with serious dietary restrictions they don’t reveal until sitting down at the table. I don’t leave it up to my DH to ask guests about restrictions either, because he <em>forgets</em>.</p>
<p>I don’t care who eats what. That’s their business. What I do mind is when someone tries to force me to eat something after I have politely declined or opted to not take a serving of that particular dish. Why is it so important to try to make everyone be just the same? I don’t understand this. Live and let live.</p>
<p>Hosting can be a challenge, no doubt, with the wide variety of what everyone will and won’t eat. Kudos to everyone making their best effort to navigate the waters.</p>
<p>We had new neighbors over and right after I tossed everything into the salad they asked what kind of nuts we put in, they were both allergic to walnuts, luckily I used pecans. A good reminder that I should ask about allergies when inviting people!</p>
<p>Guess I should have been more specific. The H of the Jewish couple was a co-worker, last name obviously Jewish, ethnic looking…the host who was a co-worker had to have known, but didn’t care. Maybe I’m being too harsh. Some people just aren’t attuned to these things. And some cultures put bacon bits in everything. :D</p>
<p>I just think it’s always good to have <em>something</em> non-meat eaters can eat. If you can’t eat ANYTHING (extreme kosher rules, many food allergies) that’s another problem to discuss.</p>
<p>Before I toss nuts into anything, I always ask. Nut allergies have become so common.</p>
<p>Now I swore I wouldn’t talk about these particular relatives because like jym626, once I get started I may never stop… But the talk about the vegetarians got me thinking…</p>
<p>One thanksgiving we went to my SIL’s house. Her sister has a lot of food allergies and can not eat anything that has MSG in it. So basically everything has to be freshly prepared. Now I understand that this is hard to do but it seems like you would make some effort. The sister bought a child and her boyfriend who are both vegetarians. Everyone knew this also. </p>
<p>I think I brought a sweet potato casserole and a salad. I looked high and low and made sure that I bought organic greens and homemade dressing. I also cooked the sweet potatoes and made sure that none of my items had msg in them. They were the only things the vegetarians could eat. Everything else had meat products in them. Including the rice and beans that the grandmother made. She didn’t seem to know that you couldn’t put ham in it for either the vegetarians or the food allergies. Unbelievable. I don’t think you have to cater to people but it still would be nice if they had some options.</p>
<p>Oh and I just forgot about when my BIL was on the heart transplant list. (Different side of the family). He was on a very low sodium diet as you are when you are on the heart transplant list. We went to his sister’s house who is a NURSE! She served ham and hash brown casserole. With green salad and bottled salad dressing (bottled salad dressing is loaded with sodium). There was nothing he could eat. I understand it is hard to host but you would think that you would ask your brother what he could eat. Low sodium is really hard but others made an effort to accommodate him.</p>
<p>Have. To. Stop. Now.</p>
<p>… I mean, really. You should find another blog for this subject. Thank you, really!</p>
<p>Did you miss the forum title of “Parents Cafe?” Don’t worry about others’ posts. Thank you, really!</p>
<p>^^Must be new here. 34 Posts</p>
<p>Food is tricky! If someone serves a food I don’t eat like lamb, I will tell the host or hostess that I don’t eat it, but assure them that I will be fine and make do with whatever else is served. My vegetarian daughter and non beef eating son do the same. If we go to a cook out where I know there will be just hot dogs and hamburgers, I have been known to bring along a veggie burger (wrapped up in aluminum foil) or two to throw on the grill. I would not expect the hosting family to have that available. </p>
<p>My strangest guest story involves family from out of state who came to visit around dinner time when a snow storm was predicted. This family has two kids who were two and four at the time. Anyway I was surprised that they decided to come in the first place because they couldn’t leave their home until around 4 pm and arrived here around 5:30. We had a nice dinner and a good visit. I kept waiting for them to leave because the snow started falling around 7:30, but they didn’t. Finally around 9:30, it became apparent that they would not be able to drive home, but they made no attempt to ask about hotels nearby - they just assumed that we would put them up. The weird thing was, was that we already had four extra people staying over! My daughter graciously gave up her bedroom and I think slept at her friends house next door. Later, the Mom told someone that she liked visiting us because there was always someone to watch her kids…</p>
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If you don’t like the topic, don’t read it.</p>
<p>You have the power to not click the link. Use it.</p>
<p>My post #502 wasn’t very clear. Sorry about that! I wasn’t really replying directly to the posts above it, more thinking about the subject in general. What I was trying to say is that I don’t expect people to not eat what they like just because it’s not what I eat. Sigh. I do try to serve food people will eat when I host, lol.</p>
<p>Where I grew up, there were people of German, Scandinavian, Polish, Irish and various other European heritages. Catholics, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Episcopalians, and other mainstream Christian churches were all the religious variety there was. Everyone was white and everyone (except two Jewish families who had to drive over an hour to the nearest Temple) was Christian. There were no people of color, no recent immigrants, nobody who spoke with a different accent. There are still parts of flyover country that are like that, so I find it somewhat disconcerting that anyone would expect other people to be able to identify the specifics of dietary restrictions of other religions. Some people truly don’t have enough experience outside their own little worlds.</p>
<p>I’m a long way from that midwestern girl, and thankful to live in a neighborhood that is very culturally, ethnically, and religiously diverse. However, I have to sheepishly admit that it can be exhausting trying to keep track of who has what dietary restrictions for whatever reasons.</p>
<p>Our local elementary schools no longer allow treats to be brought in to share. No more cupcakes for birthdays, no more Valentines Day Treats… Too many allergies and other dietary restrictions.</p>
<p>Sometimes I think, well we can all have a cold glass of water, and, um, organic carrots with… Er… A banana, and… An apple. </p>
<p>I love being introduced to the food and holidays of my friends, and I’ll eat, or at least try, anything. </p>
<p>I’m a great guest, but an increasingly anxious hostess.</p>
<p>Oh my, gigica. Hope you aren’t one of the guests described in one of the posts here :o</p>
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<p>Sorry, eastcoascrazy, S2 is allergic to both of these! So we are down to water and ???</p>
<p>Actually, I have a fairly severe egg allergy and S2 is allergic to most fruit. We have both learned to just be aware of what food we should be careful with and very politely decline food we cannot eat without making a big deal out of it. S2 has it easy then I do, since fruit is usually easier to identify than eggs, but I do ask if I can’t tell.</p>
<p>We had friends who kept a kosher home. They would eat kosher-style while out–in other words, no pork, no shellfish, no mixing meat and dairy–without worrying about the dishes. When they came to dinner with us, I usually served a dairy meal with fish. I was somewhat amused when we visited them for a cook out once, and some other friends were there who brought their own meat. The other friends kept glatt kosher: the hosts’ meat wasn’t kosher enough, so to speak.</p>
<p>I actually just discovered last weekend that a Jewish college friend with whom I once shared an apartment doesn’t eat pork. We’ve only known each other for 41 years! I’m now wondering if this is a relatively recent development. She was happy to eat lobster and steamers. </p>
<p>In my experience, virtually every Jewish person who is observant to any degree has their own rules. :)</p>
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<p>As a T2, I would be limited to the water and either part of the apple or a very small amount of carrot. The banana is out. But I would just quietly eat whatever I though was appropriate for me and not say anything. :)</p>
<p>I have food allergies (shellfish) but have been pretty good about identifying & avoiding things that might set me off. Buffets at restaurants are very challenging–in HS went to a prom & ate mystery dish with cream sauce. You guessed it, massive full-body hives & a very itchy evening.</p>
<p>Before it was outlawed, salad bars often had nitrites in them to prolong the life of greens. Didn’t understand why eating them would make me wheeze horribly & finally decided I just had to avoid them (but took a lot of scares before it sunk in).</p>
<p>I do sometimes remember to ask when I am hostess about folks’ allergies but feel it is up to guests to make them known when they are issued an invitation. I do keep track of family members who have shellfish allergies because for a very long time, I was the only one in the extended family who had them. There are now 5 of us, so we all look out for one another. :)</p>
<p>gigica–here in the Cafe, we can talk about (almost) anything. College issues stay on the Parents Forum.</p>
<p>Hey, my husband is obviously Jewish and has an obviously Jewish last name. Bacon is his favorite food. He’s not Jewish, but his Dad was. OTOH, the guy who wore the yarmulke was probably a pretty safe bet for being Jewish!</p>
<p>I’ve got a lot of vegetarian and ppiscivore friends so I try to make sure that I have plenty of choices when I have a party but I can’t promise you that I’d buy you veggie burgers. One of our friends is allergic to peanuts and he never warns anyone, though he occasionally asks. Another friend blithely said, oh there are no nuts in my apple pie. He took a taste and said, “Are you are sure?” “Oh she replied, I did dab some peanut butter on top.” Off he went to the bathroom to spit it out and wash out his mouth. Luckily he didn’t seem to suffer any adverse affects and they are still friends. I still am trying to figure out why anyone would think peanut butter could possibly improve an apple pie!</p>