<p>About the picky eater, some kids, particularly those with sensory integration problems, have severe aversion to most foods. I have a nephew with this situation, more common in kids with Asperger’s. It has gradually resolved with age. A friend’s son, also with Asperger’s, had this issue as a child and it has almost completely resolved over time. this does not excuse the parents mentioned for their neglect of their child.</p>
<p>I too would be perfectly content with people with very tricky dietary issues bringing their own food so they can safely eat and enjoy the company of the other guests. It would be a lot more comfortable for everyone if they had something to consume and we all knew that it was safe for them than worry if somehow unknowingly I did anything to possibly endanger their health.</p>
<p>More mainstream dietary issues are more easily worked around. Severe milk allergies are indeed VERY tricky. We tried avoiding milk for a few weeks in our household and it was VERY tough for all of us, especially to see the many ways milk is used in so many of our foods & how it is listed in different ways and how carefully you have to inspect the ingredient list. I found it pretty exhausting and am glad we were able to stop.</p>
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<p>We keep kosher. Serving a meal without ANY milk is easy! Should be relatively easy for your hosts if they can just look for the right labels–no need to read ingredient lists.</p>
<p>We tried eliminating wheat and dairy for our son once because my H was convinced he had food allergies. Since most of our son’s favorite foods involved one or both, it was really difficult. We lasted about a week before giving up in tears. I really respect how difficult it is for people with serious food issues.</p>
<p>Emaheev, To find foods without dairy, look for the word -parve- on the package. Usually it has a U or a letter K for kosher and indicates that it is kosher and that there is no milk. While it takes some searching as you said, it doesn’t have to be a daunting task. I don’t know where you live but if it’s near an area where there is a large Jewish population, often the supermarkets will have specialty aisles and sections with many of the kosher/parve items. If you did know that-sorry, not trying to be insulting.</p>
<p>No, to avoid ALL traces and forms of milk requires careful inspection of labels for all known milk derivatives, which is much trickier than you might realize. Keeping kosher & finding kosher foods is tougher in some places than others. We also tried eliminating dairy and wheat because some physicians suggested it might improve our kids health. It was EXTREMELY difficult for the entire family, even though we love rice. So much of food in the US has one or both ingredients. Corn is another ingredient that is very common, including corn IN cartons & elsewhere.</p>
<p>HI is right. It’s not just no milk, it’s nothing at all dairy related. You absolutely MUST read labels.</p>
<p>I generally request that all neccesary precautions be taken to ensure that other guests refrain from making eye with me. </p>
<p>Also, no small talk; I don’t care about your kids, pets, in laws, ex-husbands, etc… </p>
<p>I will drink prodigiously, gift generously, speak not at all, come late, and leave early. </p>
<p>The perfect guest.</p>
<p>Stats, let’s see if I’ve got this right. Basically you want to be able to suffer through the event quietly, undisturbed until it’s acceptable to skedaddle 
I sense you get dragged places you don’t want to go.</p>
<p>I think that part of the problem with dietary issues is that there are so many people who claim to be “allergic” to this or that who are not. Some of them may have sensitivities, and some are just in the grip of a fad or a quack. So people who don’t actually know someone with a real food allergy tend to be skeptical and take less care.</p>
<p>I have a friend who really does have celiac disease who was told by someone that the person a) discovered her own celiac disease, and b) cured herself by dowsing. Oh, right. :rolleyes: I knew someone who told me that she was allergic to coconut after consuming an Indian dish I had made that contained several cups of coconut milk. She told me that it gave her symptoms “as if she was having a heart attack,” while standing there perfectly fine. (She didn’t know the dish had coconut milk in it.) Oh, right. :rolleyes:.</p>
<p>WE don’t keep kosher. My family came to the United States in the 1880s and both sides, in unison screamed, “Lobster with drawn butter!”</p>
<p>That being said my kids don’t like pork…won’t eat it. Bacon (don’t get logical) is fine for 2 out of three…but the girls won’t eat it because of fat. One daughter said bacon made her ill. I stopped making bacon. We went out to dinner and she ordered a chicken dish. Half way into the dinner (about 30 minutes) she ran from the table.</p>
<p>The waiter said that there was bacon in the sauce…not mentioned on the menu. Now we know…we always ask.</p>
<p>But culturally we are kosher. My mil (yeah that one…still kicking the cancer) invited us for our one and only barbecue at their (sil and bil) house. They served dishes from my mil’s childhood faves: Thumper and Bambi. We don’t eat Thumper and Bambi…ever. All they needed to Mr. Ed and it would have been a vomit fest. We ate:gazpacho, potato salad, bread and dessert. Sil asked (she is such an actress) “You don’t eat Thumper?”.</p>
<p>I said no, not kosher. And with that bomb on the table I changed the subject.</p>
<p>With regard to allergies vs. sensitivities, I think it is a matter of degree. I asked my doc about this and he said, “If you’re allergic to any degree, you’re allergic.” Personally, I know I AM allergic but so far not to the extent that it has ever been life-threatening (thank goodness), just extremely uncomfortable and frankly sometimes scary (especially wheezing from sulfites if you don’t know WHY you suddenly started wheezing & having breathing difficulty).</p>
<p>I am more concerned about folks who are EXTREMELY allergic (to the point of needing epi-pens to be administered). At one BS camp, one boy was so allergic that when he got ONE DROP of milk spilled on his skin, he started having a violent reaction. It scared the camp nurse & everyone else! </p>
<p>I feel fortunate that so far, mostly I’ve had very uncomfortable hives, which have fallen short of requiring my use of the epi-pens I’ve been prescribed. Did have VERY BAD allergic reactions to allergy shots (needing epinepherine administered by allergist & observation for several hours). Have since stopped allergy shots as risks outweigh benefits, for me.</p>
<p>Elle… Those mental images…</p>
<p>I had no idea that rabbit and venison were not kosher! But you can eat Mary’s Little Lamb, right? :)</p>
<p>Not after I’ve named it…oh, and the story of Ping…that was end of duck for most of us.</p>
<p>And yes…vegetarians are going to ask: why the beef, chicken etc? Chicken comes from chicken bushes, beef comes from beef trees, and fish comes from Hawaii…and everything there is good.</p>
<p>The best beef in Los Angeles is from Huntington Butchers at the Farmers Market. One day they had a VIDEO of the place where the cows lived…and grazed. I saw it…told them this was NOT a good idea…and left. They are lovely people…excellent products…but I can’t get personal with my meals…</p>
<p>HImom, as we all know, allergies can get worse and worse, so if you get wheezing or hives after eating something I’d say that is reason never to eat it again! I had a close friend who developed itching after eating crab: I said “No more crab for you!” much to his dismay.</p>
<p>I also had a close friend who died in the allergist’s office after having a shot for seasonal allergies, so I think you are making a good choice.</p>
<p>I am allergic to broccoli. Developed 20 years ago. I had always felt “funky” after having it but one day I was out to lunch with visitors to Los Angeles. Something went wrong…I started wheezing and my throat started to close. Thank God the husband was an ER doc…allergic to stuff as well. Grabbed his epi pen and after a few minutes I was fine.</p>
<p>Never had broccoli again.</p>
<p>Bambi is kosher, if slaughtered correctly. Thumper isn’t. Ditto Wilbur.</p>
<p>Using the “this is kosher, it’s been inspected by a specially trained person” means you don’t have to read the labels. If a manufactured food has a “hechser” (see [Kashrus</a> Agencies](<a href=“http://www.kashrut.com/agencies/]Kashrus”>Kashrus Agencies) for a list) then the food is certified kosher. The letter “K” by itself does not indicate that the food has been inspected by a trained individual. </p>
<p>You don’t have to look at just the kosher aisle for foods with hechsers. They’re probably on most of the packaged foods you buy nowadays. Ice cream. Oreos (this was a huge cause for celebration). Flour and sugar. Hot dogs are easy (Hebrew National), buns without milk products are tougher to find. </p>
<p>There will be a “D” or “Dairy” next to the hechser (not just a K) if there is any dairy in the food. This shows up even if there are trace amounts that wouldn’t show on an ingredients list. Recent example: Trader Joe’s chocolate chips have no milk products on them. However, the manufacturer is now running both milk and bittersweet chocolate chips through the packaging line without adequately cleaning the machinery between runs. That means they can no longer guarantee that the bittersweet chocolate chip packages contain absolutely no milk chocolate chips…so now TJ chips are labelled as dairy, though milk doesn’t show up on the ingredient list.</p>
<p>ST - Those little symbols are awesome! The catering manager at my Wegman’s taught me how to identify them last year when I was shopping for fall break and needed help identifying kosher foods for my son’s roommate. We are so lucky to have an entirely kosher deli at our Wegman’s and catering options. There are tons of things in the store. It was so easy once I learned where things were to cook so everyone was eating kosher when he visits.</p>
<p>I have sensitivity to shellfish (makes me sick to my stomach, but nothing life threatening, and I can be around others eating it). I was once in a very nice seafood restaurant in Palm Beach and ordered bouillabaisse, thinking it was some kind of fish stew and not realizing it had shellfish. My family exchanged glances but said nothing. I started eating and literally got so sick within a few minutes that I ran out of the restaurant and threw up in the potted plants outside the front door - right in front of all the patrons who were getting their cars valet parked.</p>