<p>Lol cartera! I know when I held up the teeny tiny shawl after she brought it to us, H and I just looked at each other and shook with silent amazed laughter, it wasn’t so funny later on but really I probably should have looked around for a camera!</p>
<p>You are a bigger person than I am then,SimpleRules. If these were close enough friends to invite me into their home overnight, I don’t think I would have hesitated to pipe up and ask about pillows, blankets, and yes food in the morning if they were eating right in front of me. Very strange.You were wise to turn down a second overnight invitation.</p>
<p>Not bigger, just foolisher. Nothing like that happens to me anymore - I’m never in that type of situation, I don’t allow it but in a way that type of thing is what made life so amazing - I kind of miss the unusual things that used to happen. Like the time I was taking an overnight bus to get back home from college and the large woman next to me unwrapped her coat, took out a baby and handed it to me! She said nothing, I sad nothing - I was rendered completely speechless, I just sat there holding the sleeping baby and after awhile she took it back, wrapped it back up in her coat and got off the bus. It just peacefully slept through the whole thing.
Now that type of thing never happens any more- I speak up, I plan, I get a hotel, I know my rights - and that includes bedding, breakfast and coffee!</p>
<p>Oh wanted to add to make the story more understandable, they were really close friends to H in college, I only knew them in passing. I was trying to be polite. I think they always held it against me that I ‘stole’ H away from their dear friend. Really I saved him!</p>
<p>SimpleRules, the breakfast and shawl story is like a test in a classic folktale. How much can the heroine endure and maintain her temper? If she passes the test, the wicked ■■■■■ turns into a lovely prince. 
Luckily, you came with your own prince. :D</p>
<p>Sometimes you want to say, “You can’t make this s* up.”</p>
<p>Exactly, oldfort. My husband’s brother, an Ivy League grad (Yale), lived with roommates in DC after graduation years ago. He asked us for some moving help and we stayed with him overnight. He told us in no uncertain terms we were to cook dinner for he and the housemates and presented us with a shopping list to get the ingredients at our expense. This so we could sleep on their floor for a night. Husband and I have hosted this same brother and his now family many times over the years (overnights, holidays, breakfasts) over the course of 30 + years. Brother in law and family have yet to even make me a sandwich or host me in any way. But they do give occasional gifts at holidays. It’s just him and the way they roll so have had to get over it.</p>
<p>I never looked at it that way Consolation - it was a test and I passed it and I got the prince and he is a peach! And all I needed was to learn from my mistakes (stay in hotel) and keep a sense of humor! Just a classic hero’s journey tale.</p>
<p>…And now good children that is the end of the tale of the breakfast and the shawl, time to close the book and put the story to bed!</p>
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I really don’t understand why people put up with this, especially from close family like a brother.</p>
<p>If my brother had tried this with me, I would have told him in no uncertain terms exactly where he could put his list.</p>
<p>I’m sure my SILs think of us as bad house guests, as we used to stay with either of them when we visited the family. We have invited both to come with their kids to stay with us and visit NYC or come to our beach house. Neither have taken us up on the offer and, in fact, one sometimes let it slip that her family has come to NYC a few times to take the kids to Broadway shows for the weekend. This is the one whose son is 6 weeks younger than mine, plus H (her brother) works a block from the theater district and I’m just a few block farther east. I understand my in-laws never imposed on family as once it turned out very badly when the kids were young. Guess the girls have taken this to heart.</p>
<p>notrichenough,Exactly, but we were young and naive and he was the big brother who bossed people around to an extent. This was one of the reasons husband did not follow his brother to Yale ,despite being accepted 2 years after his brother. Just didn’t want to deal with this kind of stuff. He and wife are fairly well known professors in their field (published authors,lecturers). We had asked about visiting them in their city when our kids were younger but there was always an excuse why it wouldn’t work (we are working, come only in the summer,not our spring break ). However, they never had a problem with telling their other working siblings that they were coming and get ready, regardless of whether it worked out best for us or other siblings. But, it is what it is and husband has been more assertive with older brother over the years as I have prodded him to do so. Family is funny ,that’s for sure.</p>
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<p>That’s exactly how I felt…</p>
<p>I have s BIL whose first question when arriving to any family get together is “what are we having for dinner” or “when are we eating”.</p>
<p>Not an outrageous request but still somewhat rude</p>
<p>Wow, this thread has moved fast. I do want to tell my shoe/no shoe story however. </p>
<p>My mom always used to ask people to remove their shoes to protect her hardwood floors. The problem with the teenage boys in my life was that they normally had sweaty socks as well. You could see the wet sock and foot prints throughout the living room. She finally broke down and put in extra throw rugs during my teenage years.</p>
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<p>I’m with you. I don’t understand being too timid to point out something so outrageous, especially given it was a brother. </p>
<p>After the shawl and breakfast episode, hell would have frozen over before I would have had those people to my own home. Is their company that enjoyable? We’re not talking small quirks but some really disrespectful and rude treatment. Not saying I would be vindictive, just would have zero interest in spending any more time with people who could behave like that.</p>
<p>I hear where you are coming from Nrdsb4 but in my life I have had to sort out the difference between malicious and oblivious. </p>
<p>I have been a guest of the perfect hostess, delicious food, graciously served, and left feeling emotionally eviscerated. Now the people in the breakfast and shawl story were and are unbelievably oblivious. It is almost charming but not quite. I have too many defenses now to let anything like that happen but it sure makes a good story. In the fairy tales, as Consolation brought up, you always treat the guest well - they could turn out to be able to grant you 3 wishes or make your life miserable. Apparently quite a few people didn’t pay attention to this - remember children always treat your guest well - or be a good guest - that’s the moral of the story. </p>
<p>But if everyone did that we wouldn’t have such a great thread going!</p>
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<p>Ok, if you say so. :D</p>
<p>O-M-G. Your stories have me flabbergasted! Love this thread and cannot believe the chutzpah of some of these people! I did start to wonder if I am a bad hostess though since this summer I asked all visitors to our beach house to wash the sheets and remake the beds before they left. I had so much company ALL summer that I would have been doing laundry and making beds three times a week! I love my family and love having everyone come but 16 in one house is a lot of laundry! I only asked that they leave the beds as they found them. Too much?</p>
<p>^^^We ask our lake home guests to strip their beds and leave the sheets and towels in the laundry room. I take it from there.</p>
<p>And you are right, it’s a big chore.</p>
<p>It’s also that we have two sets of bunk beds and a trundle in addition to the other beds. It is very tough to make the upper bunks. My nieces and nephews love to visit but my back can’t handle all the stretching and bending that comes from making 8+ beds every other weekend or so.</p>
<p>I have been invited to people’s beach house where they ask us not to bring our own colored beach towels and not strip the beds. I have also been asked by host to bring my own towels and take them home with me when I leave. I am fine with either because it is a lot of work to have people over (as long as I have my own bathroom).</p>
<p>seiclan - if you have that many people over and they are all family or close friends, I would suggest for them to bring their own towels and sheets. Probably not that big of a deal to them, but would certainly save you a lot of work. It’s nice you have a vacation home, but it shouldn’t become a B&B for people.</p>