<p>When my girl friends come to our beach house for our annual weekend fling, they bring their own sheets & towels! I only have a small stackable washer/dryer, so they know laundry is an issue. (I typically bring it back home to my big washer, which can handle sheets for 3-4 beds in one load)</p>
<p>Asking a guest to strip their bed is standard operating procedure IMO. I always ask if I should do that if I’m staying with someone.</p>
<p>Ok combo MIL and bad guest story…
In-laws raised their family about 20 minutes from our home. They moved to a retirement area when my kids were in HS.
When S graduated from HS, I had them at my house and had a big family graduation party on the following Saturday. She decided to have a reunion luncheon for her local friends the same afternoon. She arrived at her grandson’s party 4 hours later as it was wrapping up. She was flabbergasted last year when we did not invite her to come with us for S’s college graduation.
This year I had them stay with us for Christmas. Although she was staying at our house, she did not come downstairs until the party was 2 hours underway. My sisters and their families who drove from out of state could not believe it.</p>
<p>When I was a kid and spent summers at my grandparents’ farm, it was understood that all bedmaking was the job of the kids. This included mastering hospital corners, changing all the sheets every week, and remembering that gradma’s nightie went on top of her pillow, but grandpa’s p.j.s went under his. We were so very happy that the bunk bed had fitted bottom sheets so we didn’t have to risk our lives trying to “hospitalize” that far top corner.</p>
<p>We also learned that a well-maintained home has three sets of sheets and pillowcases for each bed. One on the bed, one clean and waiting in the linen cupboard, and one in the laundry room. While three full sets per bed might be a bit much for a beach place, two could do. Guests could peel off the dirty sheets, put on the clean ones, and then get the dirty ones to the laundry room. Then the next randomly available person could wash, dry, and put the newly clean linens where future bed-makers can find them.</p>
<p>“When S graduated from HS, I had them at my house and had a big family graduation party on the following Saturday. She decided to have a reunion luncheon for her local friends the same afternoon.”</p>
<p>I am sometimes puzzled by the way family members prioritize. Years ago when S2 received his first communion one sibling drove 8 hours to attend and another who lives 40 minutes away had to check their son’s little league baseball schedule before deciding if they could attend. I certainly appreciate the 8 hour drive and this sibling is a gem! I think because my husband passed away when S2 was a baby, this sibling makes extra effort. Luckily, everyone was able to attend, but I had to shake my head a bit.</p>
<p>We just got back from a lake house vacation at my SIL’s and we happily stripped the bed and put them in the washer. I am thrilled to be invited and I certainly don’t want to make more work for anyone. We also brought a ton of lunch fixings. I want to be a good guest.</p>
<p>Anybody have TOO good a host? My sister is too nice if that’s possible. Love her to death but she’ll hardly let you reciprocate her hospitality (paying for dinners out, buying groceries, etc). Guess that isn’t a problem in most books but I don’t want to argue over picking up the check as a guest at someone else’s home as a thank-you!</p>
<p>We were invited to a clambake at a friends house. Charge was $20 a person. </p>
<p>We take our shoes off in the house. Most folks who come to visit do too. However, we do this because we have wood floors and it helps keep them from getting scratched up. </p>
<p>My MIL has those guest slippers by her front door. They lived in Japan for several years and she claims that is the norm there. I will NOT wear slippers that belong to others. I bring my own.</p>
<p>I think there’s a difference between being a good guest and a good host. Of course a good guest asks if they should take off their soaking wet, drippy boots or what they should do with the bedding. But I think under most circumstances, it’s poor form for a host to dictate manners to a guest. So, if I’m hosting, I would not tell a guest to strip the bed or remove their shoes.</p>
<p>If someone really was dripping wet, I’d ask them if I could get them a towel, or dry clothes, but that would be about their comfort, not about my floors. As far as the beach house question, if I considered myself the host, then I would take care of things like linens and towels. If I am just offering up the location, and it was a cooperative group effort, that might be another story.</p>
<p>Count me as another who automatically strips the bed before leaving. If I have time, I put them in the washing machine if I’m someplace like my mother’s. I don’t ask guests to do so, but I think it’s fine to do ask them to, and I very much appreciate when guests do.</p>
<p>I think the best practice is ask the host if they want the bed stripped. Your host doesn’t necessarily need a laundry room full of dirty linens and a stripped bed that day…</p>
<p>I agree with gouf78. Best to ask the host first. Sometimes guests trying to be nice can inadvertently end up causing more work for the host.</p>
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<p>Not with all families. </p>
<p>While I’ll do so if asked, neither I nor anyone else in my extended family would ever ask a guest to do so if we were hosting them at our places as they’d feel it is not in keeping with our notions of being a good host. </p>
<p>Just different households have different expectations, I guess. </p>
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<p>This is very common in many Chinese families I’ve know of…including my extended family. My parents personally feel it is ridiculous, but you WILL feel the wrath of the older relatives in my parents’ generation or my late grandmother when she was alive if they/she’s denied the “honor” of picking up the check. </p>
<p>The umbrage of being denied that honor seems to be especially great if a younger member of my parents’ generation…like my parents try for it…or worse…someone of my generation. </p>
<p>This is also a subject of much inside jokes among cousins and Chinese-American friends/HS classmates.</p>
<p>I don’t wash my sheets before I leave since we are generally trying to get an early start. I am, however, always happy if my guest strips the bed. I don’t expect them to find or create clean sheets for me.</p>
<p>I always ask if I should strip the beds when we are guests. Also take the linens to the laundry room. I am happy if guests strip their beds at our house, but I would not ask them to do so.</p>
<p>Shoes? Whatever. Some folks take them off, others leave them on. I can’t get worked up over it, except when S2 leaves his next to the kitchen door. Size 15 shoes are a BIG obstacle!</p>
<p>Size 15 - Yowza!! You could make them useful by using them a door stop. :-)</p>
<p>I wear a size 10 and they are tiny compared to his shoes…</p>
<p>Yes, CountingDown. THAT’S my problem with taking off the shoes - the kids’ shoes are enormous!!
(S moved to another country last year and had one suitcase for shoes alone…he thought it would be a bit difficult to find decent size 14s in China. He was right…)</p>
<p><a href=“S%20moved%20to%20another%20country%20last%20year%20and%20had%20one%20suitcase%20for%20shoes%20alone…he%20thought%20it%20would%20be%20a%20bit%20difficult%20to%20find%20decent%20size%2014s%20in%20China.%20He%20was%20right…”>quote</a>
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<p>Yeah. My foot size is considered large by many Chinese/Chinese-Americans in and out of my extended family and I wear size 11s while being a smidgen under 6’. </p>
<p>My father is about an inch and half shorter in height and wears size 9s. </p>
<p>Then again, I have noticed to my disappointment that even here in the NYC area there are far greater varieties/quantities of available shoes available for men with shoe sizes ranging from 6-9.5s than for 10s and up. </p>
<p>Even with my “can make do” attitude towards shoes/sneakers in terms of design varieties…it does take me longer to find shoes/sneakers in my size than it does when my father or some smaller size wearing male friends shop for their shoes/sneakers.</p>
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This is highly unlikely, as the average mens shoes size in the US is something like a 10.5</p>
<p>I have to buy men’s shoes because it’s very difficult to find female shoes in my size (10.5/11). </p>
<p>I can say though that I’ve never noticed a lack of shoe variety for my bf who wears a 10.5</p>