<p>Pizzagirl, as I was reading your story, I thought the guest would make some remark about the item. That actually happened to us. We got a clock for our wedding that had no numbers. It was a nice looking disc with some vague scene in some nice colors in the background. We had it up more for decor than anything else because it was risky trying to tell time on that thing. </p>
<p>The gift giver came to visit, and actually said, "how the heck (not heck either) can you tell time from that thing? I actually asked him if that was his gift, and it was! His then girlfriend picked it out for him! He wanted to buy us a new clock that day.</p>
<p>"Almost all the weddings I go to are some sort of backyard reception events. Very rarely is it in a formal setting. "</p>
<p>Sure, but you asked the question why?<br>
Surely you at least knew that some people (even if they weren’t your family and friends) had wedding receptions in hotel ballrooms / formal settings, with sit-down dinners on china, a band or orchestra, etc. So surely you knew that such settings aren’t as fun for kids as, say, backyard receptions or cookouts where kids can run around a lot more and not be as disruptive to the goings-on. I guess I"m not understanding why you asked “why.” It’s sort of a no-brainer that a kid would enjoy a backyard BBQ where they can run around more so than a four-course dinner at the Ritz where they have to sit and behave, and so therefore people who want to give their guests four-course dinners at the Ritz wouldn’t want to invite a lot of kids who wouldn’t understand/appreciate or have fun at the event.</p>
<p>Pizza, I already explained I had never heard of them. I’m not sure what else you’re trying to read into that. I hadn’t heard of them so I just asked why people would have them. It was simply a question.</p>
<p>I didn’t take into account cost and simply not enjoying them because that’s just not my experience. That wasn’t on my mind when thinking about weddings. Sorry for asking.</p>
<p>OK. I’m just a little surprised you never actually HEARD of people having wedding receptions in fancy hotel ballrooms with all the trimmings. I get that you may not have personally attended one, but that you never heard of it - that’s what surprises me.</p>
<p>Where I am from ( small town in south central Iowa), the tradition is wedding and cake and punch reception in church hall. I am sure that has changed, but when my husband to be was talking open bar, it was shocking. Pizzagirl, I think you are in the Midwest too, but I know from your posts you are in a higher social circle.</p>
<p>Another Iowan here, but with maternal relatives in rural, PA. Until I moved across the country for graduate school, I had never heard of fancy sit-down wedding receptions, let alone been invited to one. Where I came from receptions were either punch/nuts/mints/cake in the church basement, or were family sponsored (sometimes catered) events in a back yard or at the American Legion or Knights of Columbus so that people could dance. I don’t remember ever even seeing a “ballroom reception” in a movie before that time. The whole cultural phenomenon was new to me.</p>
<p>What caused amazement and ruckus in my mom’s extended family was when one cousin planned her wedding in the home community and long-time (150+ years) family church and then put out the word that it was adults only. People still talk about it 20 plus years later. Now that I know about the cousin’s mom’s devotion to Martha Stewart, I can’t help but wonder if they got this notion from something one of them read. It certainly was not part of family tradition.</p>
<p>The regional differences are amazing. A friend of mine grom Iowa had 500 people at her wedding and just served cake and punch. I wish that could be done in the northeast but it just isn’t.
I remember being upset at a relative who brought her toddlers to my ceremony. I had arranged childcare too.
I seem to attract people who don’t know when it’s time to leave. If your hostess has put on her pajamas, that could be a sign it’s time to go.</p>
<p>Yes, I’ve never heard of them. Even in fancy weddings on TV, there are kids that are the flower girl and ring bearer. The idea that there would be no kids is just something I’ve never heard of.</p>
<p>What I wonder about the rock star guests: do they LIKE it when they are at a social event and no one is talking to them? I can see them leaving and saying “that’s the most unfriendly group of people I’ve ever seen.”</p>
<p>Wow - this is rather surprising to me. Even small cities in the midwest still have hotels that rent out their ballrooms for events. It may be the Courtyard by Marriott, Embassy Suites, or Holiday Inn as opposed to more upscale hotels. And there are golf clubs and country clubs, too. I bet that if I were putting on a wedding in Des Moines, for example, I could find some place that would offer accommodations generally similar to what I could find in Chicago. I just saw pictures of a friend who attended a family wedding in suburban Toledo; it looked pretty darn similar to any wedding I’d find here in Chicago. Nice flowers, dancing, sit-down reception, formal attire, etc.</p>
<p>Onto the thank you note issue. I was going to resurrect my niece’s wedding thread, but decided not to.</p>
<p>We got her thank you notes last week and they were very nice, but mine and my mother’s said “thank you for coming, I hope you had as good a time as we did.” Now this confused both of us because there was no mention of a gift and we wondered if our envelopes had gotten lost or something. I had given actual cash so I was worried, but mom gave a check and was able to get confirmation from the bank. But don’t thank you notes usually acknowledge that a gift was given?</p>
<p>LOL - You have to drive a good four hours to get to Des Moines from my home town. That’s why receptions are at the Legion hall or in a church basement/social hall or in a park shelter house.</p>
<p>My experience has always been in the middle of the church/cake and punch and full sit down dinners. Most of the wedding receptions I’ve been to have been held at country clubs or very nice hotels with open bar or open wine/beer and hors d’oeuvres types of food offerings: chicken skewers, small roast beef sandwiches, small quiches, stuffed mushrooms, etc. Finger foods for the most part, with lovely decorated tables but no place cards. Usually a band or DJ does the entertainment.</p>
<p>I’ve been to exactly one sit down dinner. It was at a nice hotel; I don’t even remember who the couple was. It was likely the child of one of DH’s clients.</p>
<p>Almost 30 years later we still diss the bride who didn’t let us bring our babies to her wedding. Her side of the family paid no attention to her request. Lots of babies everywhere. It was her choice… but we will never forget. Naturally, after she had a baby she assumed it was not only appropriate to bring the baby to all wedding ceremonies but to breastfeed there as well. I mean, what else can you do with a bawling, hungry infant? We love her but we do laugh.</p>
<p>When I write a thank-you, I never sign my husband’s name but include his thanks somewhere in the body of the note.</p>
<p>I always ask house guests what food and drink to have on hand to make them comfortable, especially if they have small children. One guest told me her children weren’t allowed white rice or bread and only ate whole wheat bread and brown rice. But they really needed Lucky Charms for breakfast. Not outrageous, but I did smile.</p>
<p>Once I had 13 house guests for Thanksgiving. All the young cousins of the same age slept on mattresses on the floor in a play room. When everyone left, a relative called and told me one of her children had lice. Her mother later called and told me she knew it before she came to my house.</p>
<p>Once I had a house guest who ate a cheese quiche I prepared for dinner. And then told me she couldn’t eat cheese with her current meds and we were going to need to monitor her blood pressure for the next few hours. She did NOT want to go to the emergency room. Instead we went to one of those all night pharmacies where you can check it yourself. We stayed there until the wee hours of the morning instead of attending a friend’s annual holiday party with the rest of my family and hers. Her husband went to the party.</p>
<p>I just gave a bridal shower. Ten people RSVP’d out of 30 invites. Four of those accepted less than 36 hours before the event. One of the ten essentially told me she’d drop by if she didn’t have anything better to do. I had 17 guests attend. Then two people stopped by who hadn’t been invited. Three of the RSVPs didn’t arrive till 15 minutes before the party was supposed to end and stayed about an hour. Two who hadn’t RSVP’d and couldn’t attend came early morning to drop off a gift and clearly expected to be invited in for coffee and a chat. Three came one hour early. Although, it was a pretty successful party, all in all, my husband suggested I not give this young woman a baby shower.</p>
<p>I had my house for sale in the dead of winter in a snowy climate and was paying quite a bit for prompt snow removal for a very long driveway and parking area, brick paths, etc to have it kept really clear and showing ready. Our next door neighbors, when they moved in two years previously, had insisted we move our mail box about 1 ft so it wasn’t on their property at the end of our driveway. Their house (30 years ago) had been the guest house for our house and the mail box had just always been there. It was no big deal to move and we were happy to oblige. Then they cleared out all the trees and large flowering shrubs in their yard including some that were actually on our side of the property line. Then they asked me to have a tree man out to cut down and clear away branches from a very old tree on our side that overhung their back yard. These branches were not dead or a hazard according to the tree man. I did this without complaint. They did not usually have their driveway plowed and it was one of those winters where it snowed and melted and iced over during the night, so that if you didn’t keep on top of it you were left with an ice sheet to attempt to drive over. And that is what happened to them. They called me about 7 am on a Saturday morning to tell me they were having a party later that day and wanted to let their guests park on our property. I said no, that there was plenty of street parking and I needed to keep my drive way/parking area clear in case the realtor called with a showing. They were quite surprised. There really was plenty of street parking. It was more like a rural road than a street.</p>
<p>Oh, consider going easy on folks about the thank you notes. They sent you one. See <em>that</em>. Some people aren’t super organized. Maybe they’re not completely sure who sent what. Some people aren’t strong writers. Some people are young and inexperienced. Any which way of it, give from your heart, not so you can critique the thank you note.</p>
<p>I would never have brought a baby to a wedding. Reception, yes, if no baby sitter and okay with the bride and groom. But most weddings are actually religious services, or at the very least, very emotional events. Babies cry, and I would have been mortified to have had my infant disrupt a beautiful service like that.</p>
<p>That said, I’ve never received a wedding invitation which specifically excluded children or infants.</p>
<p>All but one of the sit-down wedding receptions that I have been to were family friendly. Too many cousins of the bride/groom who either had kids or still were kids themselves. The last one I was at in April, we were at the groom’s parents’ table next to the kiddie table, which meant that we got to snag the champagne glasses from that table before kindly requesting that the wait staff scare up some fizzy soda for the kids.</p>
Naturally, after she had a baby she assumed it was not only appropriate to bring the baby to all wedding ceremonies but to breastfeed there as well. I mean, what else can you do with a bawling, hungry infant? We love her but we do laugh.</p>