<p>I just caught up and read that article. No easy answers, TA, that’s for certain.
Some careers work better than others for parenting. Journalism, at least at an ambitious level, isn’t one of them :)</p>
<p>When I left my “real” career, I first took a year’s leave of absence. I left at a high point, after winning an award and having other job offers up chain and even a tentative book offer about a particularly intriguing case that had itself exhausted me. The offers were what had me wake up and realize that the trajectory wasn’t sustainable for a single parent in a long distance relationship. My managing editor had spoiled me. He or assigned staff regularly picked up mcson from school or after school care when I was on tight deadlines on national stories - which seemed to be often. This unusually supportive environment is not the norm in the newsroom. Once a competing outlet started recruiting him, I realized it was only a matter of time until I either had to follow him or return to the days with an editor who wouldn’t give me a particular beat because I “needed to be available for my son” (yes, that’s an exact quote. He meant it as a friend, but yes, it was probably illegal to say.)</p>
<p>And following or accepting other offers seemed to mean a large city with a high cost of living and no support network to raise my son. So I began to reevaluate my plan. Mch and I had been dating for a few years by that time. I had learned that in his imagination, I’d move in with him one day, and he was bemused that instead I was looking at opportunities that would take me still further away. I wasn’t quite ready to throw my lot in with his, move to a different country, and remove my son from easy access to his father at that point.</p>
<p>Fate colluded at the time to present an opportunity to manage a major public art installation and at the same time set up a satellite office for mch’s business in another city, so you might say my “career” departure was phased in a way that it kind of snuck up on me. After a year, when my leave of absence was up, I was offered my former ME’s job. After a lot of soul searching, I declined the offer, realizing it was likely to be my last in the industry because I’d gone rogue, and that’s not done :)</p>
<p>And then there was 9/11, which was crippling to any company that had an American and a Canadian office in many ways. Just getting across the border became at times an event. Business relationships with Americans were less than smooth when the Canadian prime minister of the day was running around saying 9/11 didn’t add up and later, that there was no evidence of WMDs. “Jean, shut up!” I used to pray 
Anytime more than 10,000 moved between company bank accounts I think we were under terror watch ;)</p>
<p>So the unification of our households, business interests etc. became increasingly one of two ways to go, and y’all know which way I chose. In retrospect, terrifying for a former free agent with a hearty independent streak and trust issues…but because it was incremental, not precisely like jumping off a cliff – close, but not quite.</p>
<p>It became understood that although I was still working a 50-60 hr week, mch, who typically worked closer to 80, was not going to be preparing meals or otherwise running the household. It was easy not to resent this because he’s truly low maintenance, still does his own laundry, and generally has always supported my whims – held down the fort so I could be more flexible in parenting time, in travel time, in general doing whatever I needed. When someone is rock-solid like that, you’re too busy being grateful to carp about not having dinner together I think sometimes necessity, surviving tough times and an ability to work toward common goals truly is the sturdiest glue in a relationship. It affords a lot of respect between the partners.</p>
<p>The side benefit of all this is although I never wanted to be in business for myself it created the opportunity to have closer contact and supervision over mcson. He came to the studio every day after school. He did his homework at his desk while I worked out the day. By the time he was 14, he also worked part time for us, and ran his school’s website and newsletter communications under our supervision. The structure of that probably had a lot to do with his ability to function well despite his inattentive type ADD. </p>
<p>Now that he’s gone and at least trying to launch, and now that mch is a scary few years from retirement age, the real question is how we move forward with the company. At one time I’d thought that it would have been better for me to go back to working for a larger company with a larger salary track and benefits to make that transition and ensure some later-in-life stability and replace myself at the company. But at the moment, I’m not sure that’s either viable or desirable. There are times I long for the golden handcuffs…even though I know they’re golden handcuffs :)</p>
<p>But in truth, the co really has become “ours” and the current client base increasingly generated by me. So its hard to know when to step back a little. Make hay while the sun shines, as they say :)</p>
<p>(Which I’d better go do now…thanks for the article, TA…provocative thought fodder 
Also, lest i forget amidst my reflective rambling…sending mojo to our kids, whatever their stage of launch :))</p>