<p>Re Coursera: H has taken two Coursera courses, both somewhat CS related, though one was primarily computational finance. He thought both were really good – but the first was 20+ hours a week of work, and the second was maybe 5-7 hours a week. (The first one didn’t have a stated prerequisite, but it reminded me of my experience when the Halliday and Resnick physics book seemed to be three weeks ahead of where we in elementary calculus. That was not fun.)</p>
<p>When my nest is finally empty, I’m up for learning new things…but I was thinking of something more like Country & Western Dance, rather than anything requiring calculus!</p>
<p>Ha! I hear ya Missy - there is nothing I like less than any kind of math.</p>
<p>OK… so S leaves the interview and is at work for H when he gets a call with the offer of the job. Thing is, they never told him how much it pays or even a range of Salary. He told them he needed the weekend and I said, call them back and ask to speak to someone about salary and salary range, potential for increases you goof! How can you consider a job offer - even if you’d like the work itself - without knowing what you’re getting paid?!?<br>
And no one doesn’t care about their paycheck. Seriously. </p>
<p>Of course, he is focused more on what he’d be doing etc, but he needs to learn that if it hasn’t come up and he’s asked if he has any question for them, a good first one would be pay. But I think he needs to figure out a way to ask that n a way that leaves him negotiating room… like, what’s the range and how do my skills/education fall?</p>
<p>Doe anyone have any advice about negotiating a salary for young people our kids’ age?</p>
<p>Ugh… the rest of my post got lost but I meant to add onto Moda’s post. Sometimes when I look at my S and D and their friends, I have to scratch my head at their naivet</p>
<p>Mods, it would certainly be appropriate for him to request that the job offer be put in writing . My guess is that would specify the salary! Funny how our really bright kids are afraid to ask this very basic, important question.</p>
<p>Well… they told him the pay. It’s pretty abysmal, especially to start. He’s still going to take the weekend and think about it. THere are some really great things about it because it’s only a year commitment and it will be the year between med school. But part of him wants to do something very outside a typical box (and like I said… get back east).</p>
<p>Realtor is finally coming tomorrow morn after freeze cancelled Monday, and then tuesday. Was supposed to be Thurs, got moved to Friday and then on Thursday got moved to tomorrow. I know we’ve had weather and everything was pushed behind for everyone, but I am not feeling in the least! :)</p>
<p>In other news: I would swear in a court of law that my husband’s snoring is why I have such terrible hearing.</p>
<p>Moda, congrats to your S on the job offer. I was reading up on what ER scribes do and it sounds like it will give him amazing experience and be a big help for med school applications, if he decides to take it. </p>
<p>woody, S2s offer letter says, Your standard work schedule is Sunday through Saturday, 24/7. He was pretty intimidated by that, but I told him they are just making sure the kids understand the difference between being on salary and being an hourly wage employee. They did mention vacation, but he is not entitled to any holidays. S2 asked and was told everybody in his training program comes in at the same level, regardless of which job they are doing, so there was nothing to negotiate. Once he is promoted and becomes eligible for day rates, pay starts to diverge based on the job being performed, but the guys all talk with each other and pay sounds totally transparent at his firm. </p>
<p>S1, in contrast, works for a smaller firm where everybody has negotiated a unique salary and benefit package. I agree with boysx3 that it is a great idea to ask a few clarifying questions, but ideally from an informed position using the Internet and discussions with others to know what is reasonable to expect. If a person asks for too much, the manager may assume the employee will be looking to leave at the first opportunity so that can start things out on the wrong foot. With both of my boys, I told them I would choose the job with better training and opportunity for substantive experience over the job with higher compensation, if that was a trade-off they needed to make.</p>
<p>Agree with TA that the job with better training and opportunities is often the better choice. My S1 actually took the job that was a few thousand less than the other one he was seriously considering because he felt it had better opportunities and was more in line with what he saw himself doing. S2 was given an offer letter outlining salary and benefits. He felt the offer was fair so did not try to negotiate . I didn’t push him on that because I did look on payscale or something like that and it did look like it was in line with what was reasonable for his position. I did suggest he ask them about helping him with moving expenses and he did but was told that was part of what his generous signing bonus was for. Fair enough. And he is pretty low key with all of this kind of stuff anyway so I was proud of him for even being willing to broach the subject with them.</p>
<p>S3 is working for a tech startup. His initial job offer was for decent although not stellar pay. He has since received three promotions within the organization–he is growing with them. Sometimes it scares me how he just jumps right in and learns in the moment–but no one in the company has experience with the experiences they are having. They are rolling out operations and now have operations in 14 cities–my son is now the manager of operations and marketing in three cities around the U.S., and is training another person to become the manager of a fourth city.</p>
<p>Right now he–and the company–are so busy that he has not had time to renegotiate his package since his last promotion in December. He is sure he will receive a fair raise, although the organization is careful with its cash–he is more interested in negotiating a bigger share of ownership, should the company eventually go public.</p>
<p>He figures that even if the company does not make it over the long term (and he certainly believes the company will be very successful) he is getting unbelievable experience that will open all sorts of opportunities to him that he would have had to work many years for in a more traditional job progression.</p>
<p>In the meantime, he works 7 days a week and travels nonstop. And loves every minute of it.</p>
<p>Well, D interviewed with another firm on Thursday and was offered a job on Friday - more than what she is making now but needs/wants a bit more (~$3K) to make it work for her living in NYC. This job will offer much more of what she is interested in doing. Living at home, her current expenses consists of gas, clothes and fun. It will be significantly different on her own! ;-)</p>
<p>Her mistake with her current job was not asking what vacation time or even comp time was available. (Personally, I think 4 days off exclusive of New Year’s, Christmas, Memorial day, Labor day and Thanksgiving is a bit draconian.) However, she wasn’t willing to ask those types of questions upfront because of what TA alluded to. It was a small firm and had experiences comparable to TA S1. My S on the other hand just took what was offered as was TA S2’s experience - no room for negotiating but on the other hand, he was offered more than what he said he would expect to be paid.</p>
<p>I feel that asking the questions up front - after the offer has been made - is the best time to do so. Eyes wide open, transparency, etc. and best of all I won’t have to listen to her moaning when everyone else has off the day after Thanksgiving and she doesn’t!</p>
<p>Add to edit: Boysx3 - I think how your son is handling it is perfect - for his particular position that is so entrepreneurial in nature. His interest in getting a larger share of ownership is certainly on target. However, for other types of situations, as I think you mentioned previously, some of these very bright kids don’t know beans about negotiating up front. I can’t blame them with internships for no pay and the scarcity of jobs but it doesn’t bode well for individual young adults to get some financial stability and qulaity of life.</p>
<p>Congrats to your D, woody.</p>
<p>Crazy week here, working very long days. Dad’s test results came in on Wed, the CA has spread so not good. He is going for another opinion and to discuss treatment options. I would like to go see my parents, but plans are on hold until treatment decisions are made. </p>
<p>S has about 4 weeks until he hears from his ED II school. Found out a classmate is also applying ED II and has a “hook”. We know he has no control over that but the waiting is tough. He interviewed this morning for his second choice school. I’m so over this already.</p>
<p>I made time to get on the treadmill 4x this week.Was doing well last year Jan through August then got off track. Combined with too many sweets and I suspect too much wine, the weight is creeping back on. D joined a gym this week , her company will subsidize part of it and as a former dancer and travel soccer player I think she misses being active. Did I mention that her fiance got a promotion and is now in training for his new job? </p>
<p>We also signed a contract for her wedding venue. This is the place that she and I love. The wedding will be in October of 2015.</p>
<p>Yay for Woody’s D !!!</p>
<p>FG, you must be under so much stress, between you dear dad and your sweet son. I don’t deal well with feeling out of control. It’s good you are back to the treadmill–but the wine might be helpful right now too.</p>
<p>And yay for the promotion for your D’s fiance! And for signing the contract for the wedding venue. S3 was a travel soccer player as well, and he plays on a few teams in DC. Unfortunately he has been traveling so much lately that he is thinking of joining a team in NY as well (that’s where his HQ is, and lately he is in NY at least one week every month).</p>
<p>I was just thinking I should have Shaw advise my son on negotiating his new contract…things are beginning to get more complicated and beyond my area of expertise! It’s gotten beyond just salary…his bonus calculation is getting complicated, and the various kinds of ownership–and the fact that there are no provisions for days off/sick or personal days/ vacation. He was told “take what you need/want when you need/want it” but he has been working 7 days a week since August…</p>
<p>Kudos to woody’s d and Moda’s s, and hugs fall girl on your dad’s dx.</p>
<p>I have been fairly consumed with studio finishing and moving shenanigans and spent the entire day yesterday mucking about in the studio prepping it for the floor installation and final trim. Not sure what I was thinking when we’d made the decision we’d do the floor ourselves but since we were just using locking floating vinyl it has seemed like a good way to control costs at the time. </p>
<p>It was perhaps an inauspicious start that the Home Depot truck couldn’t get up our driveway due to the hill, snow, ice etc. (despite h’s constant salting, there’s been all manner of comedic nonsense with contractors attempting to back up large work trucks up this drive lately. One slid down…another left his trailer there for two weeks rather than having to repeat the performance, etc. I will have to consider this with the moving trucks too…)</p>
<p>At any rate, as I was noting on the health and fitness thread, unloading that pallet and then relocating 35 packs of flooring might have killed me a year ago had I not dropped some weight, hiked the back hill a lot, and done strength training.</p>
<p>Mch actually got dizzy and I thought he was going pre-coronary on me so I had to push to sideline him with another task. The fact that he finally acquiesced in itself is frightening enough in a way…tells me he was scared too. Don’t know how to get this guy to spend a few hours a week on the treadmill and lifting some kettlebells, but maybe that experience will help motivate him. In his imagination, he’s still strong as an ox. Which he is still in a way for a short effort, but he is absolutely not in condition for that kind of exertion.</p>
<p>I’d like to blink and have it be March. In March, I’ll feel like that’s how it was…but right now I just have to swim through the details and try to keep the process flowing nicely. We’re playing a little game at work…each person cannot leave for the day unless they’ve taken one load of obsolescence to the dumpster out back. I refuse to pack files or design guides from 1980, although I DID save a voodoo doll I found, and early copies of a fairy tale interactive cd rom series mch produced in the early days 
It’s made it fun, in a way.</p>
<p>boysx3, if they include vacation in his contract, then it will be a liability on the firms financial statements. By making it an ad hoc thing, the optics to outside investors are stronger so Im not sure I would push to make this a contract issue if they are telling him he can take as much vacation as he needs. The issue for your S isnt having it available, but actually scheduling and taking breaks. He might start with setting aside one day a week as a day he doesnt let himself do any work, doesnt read work email, or take work related calls and communicate that day to all of his co-workers in advance so they know he is always unreachable on say a Sunday. He has to first convince himself that having that day a week to recharge is better for the firm than not taking it and give people time to adjust to the new expectation. Before being able to take a longer break, he has to have someone he trusts to make decisions in his absence. If he cant delegate any of his responsibilities, he will find himself working via email and phone even while on vacation or his work will pile up so much in his absence that a vacation wont feel doable or at all fun.</p>
<p>woody, congrats to your D. It will be very exciting for her to live in the city.</p>
<p>FallGirl, congrats on the promotion for your Ds fiancé. Sorry to hear about your dad. Im impressed with you and kmcs workouts. I fell off the wagon at Halloween and havent gotten back on yet.</p>
<p>H and I talked to S at length this morning. He was at the beach (Sunday night his time), living the good life as usual. He had a great time in Thailand and Bali over Christmas and is very excited about his work. One of his roommates is headed to the London office next month so rather than replace him, the remaining three guys will move into a smaller space. S1 seems to move constantly. I have stopped even keeping track of his home addresses and just mail him things to his work address now.</p>
<p>Wait a minute - didn’t you literally just decorate his place, TA?</p>
<p>D1 had ordered a pseudo custom couch at this great place in SF. They mfr not too far away, they have some standard styles etc. So you can spend a whole lot or not too bad. Anyway… delivery yesterday and they realized they must of mis-measured by two inches and it won’t fit through the hall. Not sure exactly, but more disappointment than a hit on the wallet (although there was a little bit of one there too). Live and learn.</p>
<p>So realtor comes yesterday and of course, has me decluttering the decluttering. I swear, everyone of them has a different opinion on how to stage and what does and doesn’t need to be done that beyond perhaps a new front hall rug, I think I am saying “no” to everything that has me swiping a credit card. We are moving out some furniture and I will pack up more stuff, but buying a new light fixture and even new master bedroom bedding is a no. Especially because I just bought it a year ago, it’s definitely high end and when I looked to see what’s out there, it’s actually harder to find what she suggests than similar to what I have now - At least at Pottery Barn, Restoration Hardware and Macy’s.-- now and frankly, on a king bed, nothing is “cheap” in the aggregate of what’s all needed shams, throw pillows and even pillow cases, to say nothing about sheets, even on sale.</p>
<p>Anyway… had a small meltdown after she left about packing up so much of my life and feeling like it is all on me to get done, which is likely is.</p>
<p>I think S is going to take the job… However, I will have him ask a few more questions, but I don’t think they have set vacation days (holiday) because he’ll be working in Emergency Rooms, but I also think asking how they determine pay increases - is there a range or does the idiot who put in the same amt of time on the job get the same amt. I think even McDonalds might have some wiggle room on that one. However, at the end of they day, this is not a career but more of a gap thing and I see they are also involved in some service abroad things where you’d go to like Haiti and do the same thing there for a week, so I do think there a lot of variety. And I imagine since a lot of premeds might do this, there should be some kind of system when it comes to time needed for Medical School interviews.</p>
<p>Moda, we decorated for S2. S1 is the one who is moving. I realize I just said S, so that was confusing. </p>
<p>Good luck with the house staging. I think I would like to live in a staged, fully decluttered house.</p>
<p>Why would anyone base their decision on buying a house on the bedspreads?? I can see the decluttering rationale, though.</p>
<p>I can see if it was something ratty, faded or old. This duvet cover is none of those things… but yes, decluttering Im fine with, but it’s less about decluttering at this point, as it is about emptying rooms of anything on a shelf… seriously, staged homes will have more knick knacks than mine at this point.</p>
<p>Anyone else watching the Golden Globes? What was with Jacqueline Bissett’s speech? And was her table in the parking lot?? I thought for sure they were going to bring out the hook!</p>