<p>Agree with kmc – Happy Mother’s Day to all. I also like her thinking – “my own treat for me from me …” </p>
<p>D came to RI for the weekend, which is lovely. Who knows if I’ll hear from S – if I do, I’m sure it’s because D sent him a reminder text …</p>
<p>And woody – trying to visualize your manicure …</p>
<p>Happy Mother’s Day to all.
woody, I can not select nail colors at all…</p>
<p>Happy Mother’s Day, everybody! Seeing my sons on this day for the first time in years. H and I drove up to DC yesterday. We all took a drive to Middleburg and had a nice afternoon. We’ll have lunch, then head home.</p>
<p>Happy Mother’s Day to all. We did something unusual. We did our Mother’s Day celebration last night by taking ShawWife out to dinner last night. ShawSon drove in and we picked ShawD up at her place. ShawWife is unusually immobile as she seems to have tendonitis of the Achilles tendon and for the last couple of days is walking around in one of those orthopedic boots. She can’t swim or bike or hike at the moment, so when a friend called her to go off to a sale at Ikea, she took her up on it. She is buying new storage units for the studio, which is blessedly mold-free after it was stripped of drywall and insulation and treated (and then reinsulated and draywalled and roof repaired).</p>
<p>I was at the lake for Mothers Day. love being with my family, not my husbands though. We had his mom, and its wearing, we are going back up soon, and I wont feel guilty that she wont be coming. On the way back, the car ahead paid my to, simple act but it was so nice. The weather was beautiful and the lake lovely. I bought a book by a new Hampshire writer call magical Journey it is a memoir abut life after the kids are gone. pretty appropriate right now.</p>
<p>Mother’s Day - it’s the first without my own. Weird. If I am fully honest, I was always behind the 8 ball on this one regardless. But I do so hope that all the Mom’s here had a great day and whether with their kid or not, reached the end of the day feeling special.</p>
<p>OK… I think we found a house. Maybe. Kinda. It was built in 1930. I honestly dismissed it the first time I saw it based on curb appeal… and then I took a second look at a slightly different angle and it dawned on me. She wasn’t unattractive, but more like a very pretty girl who was just dressed all wrong. So we got in for a showing last week and both instantly felt “home.” But above the budget. </p>
<p>Plus… The front landscaping needs a redo in a big way. But the yard itself is tiny… which has apparently been noted as a negative. So that’s not great for resale in 7-10 years, but it really is perfect for us. The people who currently own it bought it in 1978. They have clearly loved it well. I loved it and so did H. It is dated - very, but David and I agree the bones are good and even the somewhat dated kitchen has a charm I really like. Overall, updated furniture and paint would go a long way - their colors are really quite neutral, but just a little TOO beige. Hardwood floors are lovely and the carpet upstairs is really really good stuff and perfect. They put on a brand new roof in 1999 on both the house and the detached garage (very typical) and of course it has a lot of charm. Three bedrooms, 2.5 baths. Generous Rooms but not too many of them. It does have AC, which is great, but like I said, it’s an old house.</p>
<p>Hot water heat and then electric baseboard for sunroom addition. Two of three bedroom windows have a size which is currently not legal as egress (even though on second floor), but grandfathered in due to the age. This must come down to less than inches, as they didn’t raise a flag with me (as in, “boy those windows looks small”). The electrical is only 100 amp (typical is 200 today) but they added two separate 20 amp additions for kitchen and laundry - which is in the basement so it’s 140. But for an old house, the closets are great. Main bath is huge, lovely original tile but sep bath/shower and perfect where they are. cute little half bath on the main floor (I think they took a closet to be honest). It also has a 3/4 master… very small but functional. Honestly, we could move in and do nothing for pretty long while. But it is more than we had hoped to spend. And it’s an old house, and obviously I worry about big fixes, so inspection is going to be intensive. And truth is, they’ve got it listed way high. (I’ve become very good at pricing houses and being almost spot on with “solids.”) So basically, we’re likely to be seen as lowballing when in reality I think I am pretty much on par w/ value and if they had priced it as it should have been back in Feb when they went on the market it would be long gone by now and snapped up.</p>
<p>This was my suggestion: Make the offer where I think we should start and go up to where we’d be willing to go and then stopping our search till fall. I really wanted to line up something, but I don’t want to overpay just because they have it listed so high. Advice how we might do this without being overly insulting? I guess we could sit around and wait for them to reduce it bit by bit, but I kinda want to stop looking and it’s either this house or we wait till fall. Well, today anyway.</p>
<p>Talked to all the kids and H & I have put on some serious miles the last two days on our feet. Walked around the lakes yesterday and then to lunch, and then this morning did a short cut through woods in the middle of the city it seems and then about a mile out of our way to hit up a great cafe. If you can believe it, we walked in at 12:05 on Mother’s Day without a reservation and they sat us. The place was packed, but since we were two, we got a tiny little booth that we determined contained the best seats in the house! Lots of first Mom’s out there. So sweet and so long ago.</p>
<p>Good morning, all!
Moda, sounds like a plan – I’ll send you the “good buy” mojo. Our old house was similar in nature/age and honestly, not terrible in terms of upkeep as it had great bones and was better-built than much you see out there today 
Our electrical had been extended to its max too…that had only been limiting in terms of the hot tub and outdoor stuff…but if its lath and plaster like most homes that age, well, make sure you’re content with the footprint and condition of the walls because renovating and/or repairing lath and plaster is a total PITA and inflates costs.</p>
<p>IME, with older houses, it seems every little project can spiral in terms of project-creep because the proverbial knee bone’s connected to the hip bone etc. So a minor bathroom renovation can turn into a re-plumbing of the entire house if you don’t scale the changes to the existing structure (been there, done that, by the way ;)) </p>
<p>That’s my only caveat…if you can be happy there with minor surface decor changes, you’re golden!</p>
<p>Happy Mother’s Day to all a bit late. Had a good work weekend at the lake. Boats are in and patio furniture out. Yard work started and weather cooperated for a nice sunny day on Saturday. D1 got a bit sunburned from cruising around the lake. Had a wonderful breakfast at a tiny local tavern for Mother’s Day. Came back from the lake last night to visit with H’s mom, dad and brother’s family. On to a busy week!</p>
<p>Moda…the house sounds good! Will send good pricing mojo your way! Is it down by the lakes?</p>
<p>Belated Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s here. Hope everyone enjoyed the weekend.</p>
<p>S, DIL, D, and her BF came over Sat. night. I did convince them to order pizza and wings instead of cooking. I made some gluten free peanut butter chocolate chip cookies (D’s BF is gluten free). Made clean up easy and S bought the dinner. H was at his race. Kids and I played games after which was fun. All and all not bad. I did get most things done that I wanted and only needed to work a couple hours from home. Of course now I will need to get more done today at work. Big meeting tomorrow that I need to prep for. Yesterday H and I went and got the flowers for all the baskets etc. that I plant which was fun. I’ll get them in over the next couple of weeks. Still a bit cold for them at night. All in all not bad and I did go out for a couple of hours yesterday and shopped!</p>
<p>House sounds good, Moda. Just because the sellers have the house on the market at a certain price doesn’t mean they’ll ultimately get anything close to that. Our realtor from the Hartford, CT area had many, many stories of sellers who ignored all pricing recommendations because they thought their house was worth way more than various realtors estimated, and then wondered why the house sat on the market so long. Your strategy seems sound – if they want to ignore your initial offer, they will; if it starts negotiations, great. Ultimately you have to have an upper limit, and be ready to walk away from the house if it doesn’t work out. Some people put their house on the market at a high price because they haven’t really committed to selling it; if this is the case with this house, not much you can do.</p>
<p>Had a nice weekend with D. Yesterday we went to brunch and then spent the afternoon in the sun on the back patio. Still a little cool/breezy, but very nice. I took her to the local Amtrak Station this morning for a 6:00 AM train back to Boston. As expected, D had, in fact, texted a reminder to S that it was Mothers Day. The day went by, though, and no phone call. Finally at 9:00 PM he called – he’s just gotten off work at the base. There was 3 day Air Show at his base, and he was coordinating/working a lot of the set-up and break-down, as well as working during the show. He said it gave him the “I want to be a pilot” bug again – but if he were accepted it would mean a much longer commitment to the AF. He thinks he’ll just start by finishing up the courses/lessons/hours he needs to get his pilot’s license.</p>
<p>The family uproar over conflicting graduation parties continues. I’ll spare you the details, but what a royal PITA!!! My father, for some unknown reason, is siding with my brother who has the HS grad, even though my other brother (with a college grad) had sent a save-the-date email first. Makes me want to just stay home and send cards. This sort of thing is really out of character for my family, so in some ways it’s doubly distressing.</p>
<p>Ahhh, dte – a random act of kindness! How lovely. We’re already looking forward to our annual week on Winnipesaukee in July. Hope the water warms up by then!</p>
<p>RM – glad your weekend turned out pretty well after all.</p>
<p>Time to do some more yard work while the weather is nice – the rains are due to start again tomorrow. :(</p>
<p>Yes, MNM - very close but not so close that we get the lake tax bump (or the traffic)… although they still are a little high on that score. We’ll see in the next few days. I feel like even if they fully just reject our offer, to not make an offer at all absolutely guarantees we won’t get it. CBB, H is concerned that we’ll go over even a max budget, but I set a limit on the nook’s market value as I determined it to be and held strong landing 3k under my max budget. As I tell H, when it comes to making a home perfect, I have more time than money. The rooms are perfect size and plumbing is in the right place, and to me that’s 3/4 the battle! Even the kitch is open but not so open that everyone sees the mess (if there is one) as soon as they walk in the door). And most important to me is the flow… it’s perfect and there’s more than one way out of almost every public room (which is huge to me as I hate being trapped in a room in a crowd).</p>
<p>Mother’s Day: H kept saying yesterday, “It’s mother’s day, whatever you want” to the point where I said… “you know, it’s not a crime to be this nice other days of the year, too!!” As if being agreeable was a one day thing! </p>
<p>Oh… D thinks she might have a job for next year teaching either a transitional class or full Kindergarten in a public school. The licensing in California is a little different breakdown vs her PK-3 in Ohio. But that she has certification for PK and K puts her ahead of other teachers certified in California in terms of qualifications and specialized training for pre-K. Anyway, the principal at her after school gig she’s done all year was given a heads up to D by another teacher who said losing her would be a huge mistake. Two clicks on a computer and apparently the principal got her on track with the state for a provisional license (in which she’d have one year to fulfill the requriements) and thus be able to apply for the job. The final option might be that she would take over the computer room/perm sub which is referred to as the holding pen for the first opening. As for a transitional class, she’s not sure she could handle such young kids all year long, but then again, she thought she’d struggle with 5th graders and they (and their teacher) really love her. I just told her that she will likely be their first introduction to developing a true love of learning - and that’s absolutely something that has the potential to change a child’s life forever. Not a bad gig at all. I sent her an article and she said it was perfectly timed. Not I just hope the official job offer comes since she’s working 55 hours a week PLUS after school just so she can go on to do this summer remedial position thru the same school. Like I said, they love her. But she still needs to pay her bills and have medical insurance!!</p>
<p>It sounds like you have a good feeling about this house, moda and agree if you don’t make an offer, you won’t get it. You might regret that later.
Good luck to your D.</p>
<p>I’ve been reading but not posting…</p>
<p>I always miss my mom on Mother’s Day, she died when I was 19.</p>
<p>But my kids made it a special day for me this year. Now that we are living in DC, as do two of my three, I got to enjoy the day with them instead of just getting texts and calls. We walked to brunch at a Mediterranean restaurant, and then went for a long walk in Meridian Park. We ended up going back to S2’s girlfriend’s apartment ( she had joined us for brunch and our walk; this was the first time she had invited us all over–is that a sign of something?). Then we took another walk for gelato at a nearby cafe.</p>
<p>And S1 and my DIL called/skyped from Boston, so I could watch my grandson play in the park and show off his walking and give his mommy special kisses.</p>
<p>Good luck on getting that house! It sounds charming. Maybe a real live offer will motivate the sellers to see it your way, since the house has been on the market for a long while already.</p>
<p>We closed on our new condo at the end of April, and our contractor (hopefully) will be starting work in the next few weeks, remodeling the kitchen and master bath before we move in.</p>
<p>DTE, remind me of when your surgery is? And what the surgeon is doing? Please take good care of yourself and have a quick recovery.</p>
<p>Good luck if you decide to make an offer, Moda…</p>
<p>Glad most seem to have had a very nice Mother’s Day.</p>
<p>boysx3, I’m pretty sure my sons are moving to a rowhouse in Columbia Heights next month so I’ll have to check out Meridian Hill Park sometime on a visit. Looking forward to exploring a new neighborhood. </p>
<p>Lots of things going on at work, the doors are being opened for more of a healthy workplace, more of a voice. t should be interesting.
So interesting how many of our kids live in the same town. My daughter lives in Dupont circle, she has friends who more recently moved to Columbia heights, she said it is up and coming. She is looking into getting a single. She lives with 3 roomates and needs her space.
Brain is a bit foggy, surgery was yesterday and I am glad it is over. I can deal with physical things but psychologically am done, it is so hard to be invaded all the time. I cant even deal with the dentist. but everything went smoothly, I feel good, and now will see what happens on my post op oppointment. </p>
<p>Glad to hear reports of a lovely weekend. M-day can be so loaded!</p>
<p>My own mother was down and we had a nice visit and various gastronomical binges, shopping jags, and a trip to the botanical/sculpture gardens. The sisters were on good behavior and tracked her down here for well-wishing. Mcson also managed to find a phone, so all were accounted for. </p>
<p>In a quiet moment, mom confessed that her live-in as been pushing pretty hard to get married. She doesn’t want to get married…nor do any of us want her to, not that that part matters. On one hand she resents that the rest of the family calls him her boy-toy, but on the other I think she recognizes the rather large financial risk the guy presents given that the man is completely without resources of even a sustenance nature.</p>
<p>He’s now trying to manipulate her I think by saying she won’t marry him because he’s had a stroke. While I personally have no doubt he loves her, I also think he loves the comfort of her lifestyle. He already seems to feel pretty free in terms of spending her money. I hope she can resist the pressure because my own observation is that he’d like to have more control of her assets, and that he’s not nearly so pleasant to deal with once he has a bit of a foothold. At least, that’s been his track record from once he actually moved in. I really wished she hadn’t rushed into this the way she did.</p>
<p>I’d say live and learn, but the latter has been a wee bit remiss :)</p>
<p>NM, how is your D1 doing? I always have trouble remembering specifics, but last I recall she was doing remarkably well under the circumstances. Still true?</p>
<p>All is well here. We met ShawSon’s current GF this weekend and he met her parents (at least mom and stepdad). He will meet the rest of the family at her graduation. She seemed very nice. Articulate, bright. They enjoy each other’s company but they plan to go their own ways at the end of the summer – she’ll go to work in Europe and he will go to California. </p>
<p>kmc, it is hard to watch people make what may be bad choices. My MIL was getting entreaties from a similar kind of man but thankfully kept her distances and now has a lovely partner – distinguished career, still working in his 80s though financially very sound. My advice to your Mom would be to put her money in a trust – possibly now and certainly before marrying. She would be a life beneficiary of the trust (it would pay her expenses) and the remainder, if any, would go to her beneficiaries (which could be her kids and not him). That way, even if she succumbed to the pressure to get married, he can’t get control of assets. Also, she should think about a pre-nup. Otherwise, I believe (though I’m no expert) that in a community property state, if he married her and then divorced, he’d get half her assets. Though I frankly don’t see any reason at that age why people should get married. </p>
<p>Good morning all. Back safe and sound, although “majorly” delayed and a very bumpy flight. I will sit here at my desk - just text me when the bus is downstairs to take me to the Tuscan villa. I guess a year will be long enough, as long as there is no phone or wifi or internet access.</p>
<p>Yes, H was alone with the kids for 5 days but I told him that it is very unkind for him to call me at my mom’s to tell me about younger D’s latest shenanigans, when all it does is keep me awake at night sick with worry. He of course says that he worries less once he shares it with me. Like I said, unkind.</p>
<p>He also is under the grossly mistaken impression that my trips to visit my mom are loads of fun and that I’m getting away from it all. I haven’t the mental energy to post a lot about my mother, so you’re off the hook in reading about it. I will just say two things:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>If you have large beds of formerly lovely landscaping, you must either (a) tend them, (b) pay someone else to tend them, © pay someone to make them smaller, or (d) move away. “None of the above but mourn the fact that your husband can no longer care for them” is not the correct answer. (But if I spent as many hours every weekend pulling weeds as I did this weekend, I’d have thighs of steel.)</p></li>
<li><p>I think she thinks she is honoring Dad’s memory by attempting to do nothing to make herself happy.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>RM, sounds like you handled Mother’s Day as nicely as you could.</p>
<p>DTE, sending healing vibes your way!</p>
<p>dte, Glad your surgery went well. Hope all the recovery goes smoothly.</p>
<p>kmc, Sounds like your mom really needs to be careful and protect her assets.</p>
<p>S1 called this morning. He got a new job offer and will probably take it (although he is up for a fairly big promotion soon with his current company but pretty sure he will take the new offer as he seems ready for a change-has been with the same consulting company since graduation 5 years ago). The company started as a startup about 10 years ago but has really grown-does data mining, software development,etc. So, a good opportunity, I think. He needs to decide how much to take in equity (or stock options or whatever they call it) in lieu of straight salary when responding to the offer so lots of decisions in the next week or so. Any suggestions on that, shawbridge? Luckily, he will stay in the DC area office, even though the main office is in California. So, both sons will remain in DC for now (yeah!). </p>
<p>Moda, I forgot to mention that I have watched so many shows on HGTV that I can totally picture you and your H on Househunters.</p>
<p>Speaking of househunting, here’s a nightmare scenario. My aunt (who is a textbook narcissist - I am telling you this so you won’t actually feel sorry for her) sold her house for a nice profit, bought a condo and then signed a contract for another house. (I won’t go into all the reasons, because they don’t make sense to sane human beings.) The house is in a “transitional” neighborhood and is next door to a two story apartment complex. Anyway, closing on the house is Wednesday. She went by Sunday to have one last look at it… And a guy was out on his balcony, shall we say “pleasuring himself” and when he saw her, pointed “it” toward her and made a come hither motion to her. Suffice it to say, she doesn’t want to buy the house anymore, but the sellers are attorneys so of course, it is drafted so there is no out for discovering the very icky creep next door.</p>