NM, Good luck with setting up the new laptop. I got a new notebook (an Asus) last month and had no trouble setting it up myself (which surprised the heck out of me). Hope your laptop is not too complicated. MP, Hope you did okay with all the ice. Will they allow you to get set up to work remotely in case something comes up again?
NM, that sort of cold is difficult to comprehend. Last Saturday morning it was chilly and overcast and windy, and I thought “imagine if it was 60 degrees colder!”
I waited until a bit before 10 am before I drove to work yesterday. No problem. I walked around the legal wing and there were three of us (out of maybe 50 normally.) I could have worn my sweats.
Younger D - the poor deprived thing without a car at school - is starting to do a lot more things on-campus. It’s exactly what parents want to hear. Last semester D mostly hung around with a girl from school and some non-student guys they met. This semester the girl has moved in with one of guys and D never sees her…alas, sounds to me like it will be a one year college career for that young lady.
-5 (yes minus 5) hear this morning without factoring in the wind chill.
Interesting on the move in. I also moved in with a boyfriend my freshman year - an upper classman. Lasted a couple of years. He graduated. We tried to keep the long distance thing going a bit but then I met my H and we promptly moved in together. I graduated a year early. Did the 5 year thing in 4 so it can be done. Just depends on what you want and how much you want it I guess.
Maybe there’s hope for the girl then. I get a bad feeling because the boy and his friends are not students (not grads either; they have minimum wage jobs.) The guys’ lifestyle seems to lead to sleeping in until it’s time for them to go to work (vs when it’s time for her to go to class.) Well, she’s not my D and Lord knows I have enough to worry about with my own child.
RM, were your parents okay with your choice of roommate? If I had done that, all funds from my (at the time) very conservative parents would have come to a screeching halt.
Good morning.
I am recouping from the shenanigans aboard “Decadence of the Seas” in hopes of fitting into my clothes again one day soon 
Oddly enough, I’ve actually had trouble getting my land legs back. They actually have a name for this phenom - mal de disembarkment. Its weird. Doubly so because I don’t get sea sick so you’d think I’d transition back to land just fine…must be some sailor in my lineage
Mcson did a good job of holding down the fort in our absence, but uber busy nonetheless!
Shaw, that party sounds like good people-watching fodder.
CQ, I love trains, but rarely have an excuse to ride one these days. Years ago, I did a train trip out to Nova Scotia just for fun. Its been a long time since I’ve had that kind of time on my hands! The problem with me taking a vacation is that it makes me want to take MORE vacation!
Missy, I’d share your concerns about your d’s friend. I saw a lot of that in my younger days…its very hard to continue a trajectory that those around you can’t relate to. It can be done, but its hard!
I paid my way through college with very minimal help from my parents so really didn’t ask them. 
My step-father was a piece of work and felt that “girls” should not go to college since they were just going to get pregnant and stay home anyway. Now really - my mom had her masters, had completed all the course work for her PhD just never finished her thesis. She worked full time making more money than my awful step-father. I didn’t like him and didn’t want to put my mother in a bad place so just did my own thing. I couldn’t get away from where I grew up fast enough! Loved my mother but some of her life choices weren’t the best.
Just stopping by to check in. We finally came back from RI on Friday. It’s hard to describe how much snow there is in the Boston area – bad enough in the burbs, but totally ridiculous in the urban areas like Cambridge. There’s no place to put any more snow.
H thoughtfully “shared” his cold with me, so I’m feeling like cr*p at the moment. He’s off for several days of Trustee meetings so at least I don’t feel a need to pull together meals – although I should drag myself to the store for a few things.
Re: train trips – I’d love to do one from Chicago to the west coast. I cut out an article from the NY Times several years ago about it; showed some awesome scenery. It’s on my bucket list.
S called the other night - the first thing I said was, “What’s wrong?” (This is the kid who practically never calls …) We actually had a lengthy conversation – at some point this summer he’ll be sent to a base in either S. Korea or the Azores for 1 year. I’m OK with that – I always knew he’d be sent abroad at some point. In all honesty, one of the things I worry about is a female “groupie” trying to snag him. Apparently the whole scenario from “An Officer and a Gentleman” is all too common at some of the bases. Anyway, we talked about a few other things, but it just seemed like there was another reason for his call – which he finally got around to. He’s thinking of investing in/buying the CrossFit gym he goes to in NJ, with a partner. He wants to sit down with H when he has all the numbers to talk it through. I won’t bore you with the details, but this is such a bad idea on so many levels – and it’s not likely to be a good investment. This is what H does for a living (invest in companies) and he’s very good at it. The tricky part is getting S to see the reality without getting him ticked off – which would just drive him to go ahead and do it anyway. Sigh … I’ve always said that if S had been born first, I would have quit having kids. Where’s the wine?
CBBBlinker - It’s difficult isn’t it walking that fine line with grown children. I am always second guessing if I should put my nose in or not. Ugh.
S is home for 3 weeks on paternity leave while DIL goes back to work. He’s great with the baby so no issues there. I do think that he thinks it’s going to be easier than it really will be. DIL will resign and stay home – this just allowed for a few more weeks of pay and as my son gets paid for the 3 weeks it seemed like a good thing to do. He is planning on doing some packing for the upcoming move. There house is about 10 minutes from us across the county line into the next (cheaper taxes) county.
Just plugging away here – waiting on the time when I can retire! Really not happy at work but for only a couple of years I don’t think it’s worth getting another job. I am learning to deal a bit with Mr. Bi-Polar (really he you just never know what you are going to get with my boss from day to day). I have spoken with HR and they are aware of the situation – not that anything has really improved.
CBB, Hope you feel better soon and good luck to your H with helping your son to sort out the wisdom of investing in this company.
RM, How great that your son’s house is only 10 minutes away. We were hours away from any family when we were raising our children and it would have been helpful to have loving grandparents nearby.
Re: Train travel. My future H and I got a rail pass when he graduated from college so we could travel all over. Left from Pittsburgh, to Chicago, then Denver, San Francisco, then down to LA, across to Phoenix, New Orleans then back up north to Chicago and home east to Pittsburgh. They still have rail passes and it was a lot of fun. My future H and I had dated for 3 years at that point. Our parents dropped us off at the train station in Pittsburgh and that was the first time they had met. My future MIL made a point of telling my parents she did not approve of us taking this trip as an unmarried couple. Her sister (my H’s only aunt as his dad was an only child) told my MIL to tell us not to visit her in Dallas because we were unmarried. So we ended up visiting my aunt and cousins in Phoenix (actually Scottsdale) instead who could have cared less about our marital status. The funny thing is that despite the somewhat chilly first meeting of the 4 parents, they went on to become good friends .
RM, good for you with respect to your college and getting away from a bad environment.
kmc, other than the hostess who is in great shape and appears to be the beneficiary of plastic surgery (why am I seeing this so often these days?), ShawWife and I really didn’t meet anyone interesting and remarkably didn’t know anyone else at the party even though we live in the same town of 15000 (and everyone knows ShawWife).
CBBB, I think a dispassionate going through of the numbers and letting him draw the conclusions may work.
I just had my second conversation with an employee who decided that she should be paid 40% to 50% more than we are paying her; she just “knows what she is worth”. A big surprise as I thought we were paying her quite well. We have no one else in that role and I really don’t know what the market is. So, I asked her to draw up a job description and a) sent it on to our HR outsourcing folks and said,“What should I be paying someone like this?”; and b) went on payscale.com for the two job categories that fit her. Well, for small companies, people with these roles, she is already at the 97th percentile of total comp (base plus bonus) – probably 75th percentile in salary and 100+ percentile in bonus. She didn’t accept this analysis right off (theses people aren’t doing all of the great things I am doing) and told me again of all of the good things she does (and she does, which is why we pay her well). I explained that that was why there was a distribution. But, when I asked the HR folks, they said that the special things she does, like IT-related things, are now expected in these roles. She said, “they don’t understand what I do” so I said “please write it down specifically and we can again ask them if this is out of the box for this role.” Hopefully, a brush with reality will help and maybe she actually does something extra, in which case I am OK with some extra compensation. But, uggh. I will now get to deal with another guy who is incredibly well-paid (and incredibly talented and hard-working) but also overly entitled. At the investment bank where my partner worked, if they added up what everyone thought they were worth, it would have easily exceed the total comp and profits of the firm. He was convinced that his comp is down from a few years ago and that he has been flat since then. His comp in the last two years have been much higher and 2013 was extraordinary. In his case, I will try the approach of letting the data teach him, but I think his psychological profile may be impervious to data. Life is grand.
CBB,I had two uncles on the Kittyhawk, and each married a very young woman who had “met the fleet”. I later learned that my dad’s sister had done the same thing, years earlier, on the other coast. (Two of the marriages lasted, one was very brief.)
I have a partner whose son played professional baseball in the very minor minor leagues. He said it was just like Bull Durham - young women throwing themselves at the guys.
We are having a very minor “winter weather event” but yet again, I am one of the only ones here so far. I’ll never tell the folks here that I would be still be cozy at home, but it is cleaning lady day, so I was kicked out of the house. (Yes, we have a cleaning lady for three hours, every other week. Counting my blessings.)
“just like Bull Durham-young women throwing themselves at the guys” S2 has a friend he played baseball with for years that has been knocking around the Minor Leagues as a pitcher (has been on 4 or 5 teams already) for the last few years (he left college early when he was drafted). Now I know why he stays with it!
Shaw boy do I understand. Hard place to be. I think sometimes my boss thinks I’m asking for more than I’m worth but he has only ever worked at this company and I’ve done my homework on the web (including payscale.com) and I’m actually only in the 33% mark for my job in my living area. So I think the numbers are with me. 
We are notoriously under paid here though in general with raises over the last 5 years averaging 2% a year. Last year we went 18 months before a raise. Basically your people should be OVERJOYED on how well they are paid. Maybe they need to do a reality check.
I think part of the problem with the admin person is that she does the accounting among her many tasks and knows how much the senior consultants and owners make. In investment banks, I have seen studies that suggest that secretaries with comparable skills make higher salaries than the do in other firms, in part because they work for people who make lots of money.
Good morning! I am in DC but there is a 2 hour weather delay this morning. We’re a bit behind in our training and this is the last day. They have too large a group and ignored the recommendations for “who should attend” so I’m not optimistic we’ll get through everything. They don’t follow directions very well, either. I’m sure it’s all their fault and not the trainer, right?
S arrived in Germany yesterday for his semester abroad and has found a friend who shares his love of college basketball. He’s making plans to see his gf in March (she’s doing study abroad in Austria).
Sigh on the salary challenges. In my former job we had one co-worker who somehow managed to negotiate a significantly higher salary than the rest of us. And her skills were well below ours. Public institution so our salaries were published. I felt my salary was fair, but I didn’t think hers was!
Getting ready to head to the lake with friends for the weekend. Looking forward to some fun.
D2 and her H made an offer on a house this week. The offer was accepted and they are now waiting on inspection reports. Keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well!
NM,you would have made a good pioneer woman. It should be about 13 below at the lake right now, correct? But I guess Saturday it should be up to maybe 25? Brrr. (It’s about that now here.) But from the pix I saw on facebook, I know that your lake house is quite cozy, so have fun!
Son had 2 1/2 snow days this week and discovered the ugly side of it…early next week, multiple tests, quizzes and papers all at once. He came home for the weekend because he thinks he can work better here. (I guess because we nag him?)
My mother is just so miserable…alone in the cold midwest, feeling ill. This is all such a good lesson for me of how not to be. My heart really sinks at the thought of talking to her on the phone or visiting her. I just hope that if I live that long, I remember that even my own kids don’t want every conversation to be a litany of everything that is wrong, and if your own kids don’t want to hear it, other people don’t want to hear it either.
Okay, now I’m being Debbie Downer. Sorry. I’ll be very sad when the Downton Abby season is over, because that is the one thing that I can get her talking about that’s fun.
NM - how exciting for your D. I know that I was very excited about S’s house (and D’s for that matter but that was lat year ). S is hoping to move in late March/early April.
missypie, maybe there is another show you can talk to your mother about when Downton is over? I’m sorry she’s so miserable. Hope S’s study time this weekend is productive.
NM, very exciting about the house!
Oregon, how is your H doing?
Back home now. The return train trip went by very quickly and actually took less time, too. The last day of training went much better. The project manager got the folks who were slowing things down to stay away, so we were able to get through it all.
I’m home for the next couple of weeks, with a big list of things I need to accomplish during that time (work related).
Hope everyone has a good weekend!
Good morning, all.
Back from a very unexpected funeral in Canada…my friend and former editor’s wife died of a heart attack. She was two years younger than me and much better behaved. My friend is reeling, of course. I feel so terrible for him…he’s quite a bit her senior and I’m certain never anticipated surviving her. The son from their union was just accepted to college this week.
Such a somber occasion certainly makes me count my blessings. Also makes me wonder if I don’t need to find a way for more work-life balance. So many peeps there with whom I’ve lost touch.
Missy, I wonder if there’s anything you could do to nudge your mom to joining a living community of some kind…possibly even one south. Its been a while now, and it sounds like she’s developing habits that will have happiness continue to elude her. She needs to find new social outlets. My great aunt railed against going to a home, but once there, started dating and carrying on like a teen beauty queen At one point, she had three suitors vying…
Shaw, I have to wonder if the person carping for greater compensation is the same one who did the same last year or a few years ago that you mentioned. If so, I wonder if it’ll ever be enough, and if ultimately it might not be better to turn her loose. I only say that because in my experience once someone becomes convinced their value is greater than it is, their contributions tend to be lackluster, and their attitudes can become toxic to the environment
NM, have fun at the lake and congrats on d2s new home…, and CQ, enjoy your time home.
Oregon, I’m not sure if I missed something re your h and the Italy trip…is your h okay?