=((
So sorry. So Sad.
It makes me happy to see the wedding pix on Facebook.
Sending hugs and hurrahs as applicable, Missy and Fallgirl 
Back from vacation. Had a great time although the first part of the trip was a bit cold. First day in NH we hiked in the snow. Just a dusting on the ground but chilly. Managed to get it all done and get on the road at the time my H wanted. I have gotten over being upset with him. He just doesn’t see things that I do and doesn’t understand that I don’t have the energy that I used to. 
Currently trying to catch up on work email since I’m a slacker and vacation means vacation and I DON’T log in. Most of my counterparts do. In my opinion their loss. Lost power to my office building this morning so currently sitting in the dark with just the computer screen to light my way.
I’m back. Pictures are now posted in the FB group. Mostly pictures taken on phones, when the photographer puts the pictures up I’ll let you know to PM me for the link.
I am exhausted but it all went well and wonderful. Peopel seemed to have fun which is what we wanted.
MP- so sorry to hear about your friend.
RM- I don’t take my work laptop on vacation. I don’t log in, either. Like you I believe in vacation.
Pictures look wonderful FG. I’ll have to look again tonight as I was looking on my phone and they always look even better on the screen. They block facebook here so need to do that later at home. Hope you had a great time even though I’m sure it was exhausting!
FallGirl, you daughter looked gorgeous. You looked gorgeous. Your dress was flattering. The flowers and bridesmaids dresses were so vibrant. The venue looked so nice.
Question: any tips on making the reception fun?
MP - The wedding planner suggested talking ahead with a few friends who are very outgoing and social to get the dancing started, we did not need that. We did have an excellent DJ and D & SIL picked a very fun playlist including Latin music.
Also, our guest list was heavily in favor of the couple’s friends. We only invited the friends/neighbors who had a connection with D, no work friends, etc. Best man and MOH gave very funny speeches. It was formal to some extent, but very relaxed and not stuffy.
Biggest mistake I made was not taking a pair of flats. I wound up in stocking feet as my shoes were uncomfortable and did not fit well ( a typical issue for me) so that was minor.
Congratulations, FallGirl!
Oregon – I want one of those rellenos. Mmmmm…
FallGirl…the wedding pictures are wonderful! Loved the colors and the dresses. You and your D looked beautiful! Congratulationsto all!
Fighting another cold. Leaving for vacation in a week so I hope it passes quickly.
^Be well, NM!
Fallgirl, I’m not a member of the FB page so I can’t see your lovely bride but cheers to what sounds like a lovely milestone
Hey Missy, does that mean you’re next up on the wedding front?
On the pair-bonding milestone front, mcson’s gf’s family is headed our way the weekend before thanksgiving for a visit. Since she referred to mcson’s first meeting with them as “criminally awkward” due to their introversion it may be an interesting weekend (However, despite his extroversion, apparently they adore mcson, who has since spent a week at their place on a visit.)
The meetup will be a culinary challenge for me as the whole family is vegetarian. Not my strong suit
But hey, I have another cooking class coming up next week, this time at my house with friends, and I think I’ll assign the chef a home made gnocchi dish or some such for the lesson/meal. McH appears to be excited about the event because he just without warning bought me a new set of self-sharpening chef knives as a surprise It apparently takes no less than a French-trained chef to get the man into kitchen ware, but hey, I’m enjoying the fringe benefits! Maybe he’ll actually cook something next!
Sounds like fun, kmc.
I’m reading a wonderful book called The Rosie Project: A Novel.. It is written in the voice of a high-functioning Aspie but doesn’t realize it even though at the beginning of the book, he gives a talk on the genetics of Asperger’s (he’s a geneticist). It is warm, laugh-out-loud hilarious, and touching. Have any of you read it?
What’s interesting to me is that it brings up significant parts of who I was. Like him, I had no friends until I got to college. He doesn’t appear to have made friends until he was a professor – I developed deep friendships in grad school. Like him, I had to learn about mating rituals (and needed coaching) but unlike him, I started having GFs in my last couple of years of college. Like him, I had to consciously teach myself social skills and create routines that manage chaos and complexity. [Do not take anything out of my travel toiletry kit, for example, or put it back on pain of death]. Unlike him, I am not neat or good at planning or keeping schedules but we both think strategically about how to solve life problems that again come naturally to others. Lots of other similarities (and I am pretty sure that one would say my father was an extremely high-functioning Aspie). I would not have thought of myself as having been Aspergers-y, but this stuff is pretty close to home.
At this point, no one would ever think I’m shy, I like human interaction. At my college reunions, a woman I hadn’t seen for many years said that I wasn’t very connected when she knew me (mostly my sophomore year in college) and expressed surprise at who I’d become. Interestingly, I think my ability to be analytical about normal human behavior that other people take for granted made me one the best academics studying this area (my works are obligatory citations, often by people who haven’t read them) and my capacity to think about strategies for being successful at complex tasks makes me terrific at what I professionally.
Shaw, the book should arrive today. Looking forward to reading. A client recommended it and it should be helpful in ur work together. Thanks for the overview.
Just ordered it. (So glad I finally got Amazon Prime.) Gotta keep up to date on those Aspie books.
Laughed out loud (!!) at least 5 times in the first 15 pages.
This is going to be a fun book. And educational.
My book club at work read the Rosie Project. I was the only one who didn’t really like the book which is strange because in the last few years I have started to suspect that I may be slightly on the spectrum myself. I may need to try it again.
Still tired but doing the challenge at my yoga studio- 25 classes in 30 days. The weekend put me behind, but I have taken 6 classes in the last 4 days to catch up. I am sleeping much better than usual. H and I were were invited to a costume party tonight, but we are passing on it and just staying home.
I love my yoga studio (the teachers who are my age, the laid-back vibe), but it’s so laid back that it offers too-few classes. There is really only one per week that I can make. I need to find a new place.
Yesterday I bit the bullet and paid a fortune for Hamilton tickets for Son and me. I took the girls to NYC in 2009 and have never taken Son (was waiting to celebrate his college graduation, but that will be a while from now)…as he’s getting married, I’m running out of time for a just two people trip. We’ll go in April, just a weekend. H is a bit ticked and fiancé is a bit ticked (she okayed it in advance but still). I needed to just do it, so I did. (Had I been able to make the decision to take only Son early last summer, we would have seen it this past August for a lot less money.)
My mom weighs heavily on my mind. Her already poor vision has gotten a lot worse of late. She has been resistant to “learning to be blind” for years. I think she hoped to pass away before she went blind. I’ll spend some time up there in a few weeks and try to set up her bills so I can pay them (she doesn’t trust my sister with access to her accounts), meet with the state department that works with the “Older Blind”, etc.
LOL, doesn’t take a genius to read the two paragraphs immediately above and see that I planned a treat for myself after a week of worrying about my mother (and dealing with my friend’s death.) Coping skills.
I never thought about aging until the last few years and now I think about it a lot…it stinks. Growing physically frail, not being able to do what you used to, losing spouse and other loved ones. I am not currently a caregiver, but that can’t be fun either, I wish I had some answers.
MP - the trip sounds like fun, I love the idea of you and your S being able to spend a weekend in the city (and am a little jealous on account of the Hamilton tickets ) . Why are your H and S’s fiance mad? Are they feeling left out?
I love my yoga studio. But I tried a class at another studio when I was visiting family this summer and didn’t like it as well. Could be the comfort factor, but a few evenings ago I overheard a woman who was a "drop in " at our studio remark how friendly everyone was and that made me realize that maybe I am just used to a great place.
Missy, you are a good daughter
In my town, there is a company called ActiKare who will go in and provide non-medical companionship such as reading to someone, play chess or cards, taking them for a walk, driving them around, etc. I met them through a business group and have kept them in mind for FIL, who at 87, with much younger wife, lives in his own home. In this case, I was thinking about respite for HER.
They try to establish the same “person” for continuity with client. I wonder if just a few weekly visits, chores, activities might give your mom an outlet. Just a thought. I predict this business model will do well n coming years…McSon has already commented that “entertaining” me in my December years will prove a Herculean task since I bore easily and at the same time am a wee bit willful
In other news…So, I a cooking up a crazy flooring scheme in my typically “guerrilla slumlord” fashion. I’ve found a slate supplier with mesh-backed mini French style in a multi pattern. The local flooring co quoted me $20 SF for stuff that looked almost identical to my $2.50 ish (plus a big shipping cost from the coast, so lets call it $4 even). I have samples of each and they don’t seem much different to me.
I will need to add hardi plank or ditra to the materials cost, plus rip out of ceramic that wont be fun, but I am uber keen to stop slipping on the darn floors every time I come in from the pool which is super often in summer. I have a contractor who does work for us whenever at a flat rate of $30/hr when he’s not building houses. He’ll be freeing up in a few weeks, so this would be a good winter project for him.
I know a cleft finish will collect dirt (but not likely able to SEE it) and I don’t think I care…I’m also not the one who washes the floor so I also don’t about it being a PITA in that regard.
Have any of you converted to slate and do you have any regrets?
In terms of style, my long rancher is faced with natural fieldstone, as is my fireplace, and overall the tone here is “indoor/outdoor” rustic so nothing needs to shine (eg travertine would not be an aesthetic fit, nor would marble).
No knowledge of slate. We have a friend who is part of a business that is sort of a concierge/errand runner for older folks. I don’t know if they also entertain.
Have started the sequel, The Rosie Effect. I’m enjoying it.