<p>Oh missypie–you made me laugh outloud.
I guess I have to wonder if your H was ever lonely in college. I know I was–sometimes I think it is just part of the college/young adult experience. And a valuable one. I remember the first Saturday night I spent alone and it was so different than HS. It really just surprised me. But I did not get married until I was 31 and so needed to figure my own time out and it started in college. Not fun but necessary.</p>
<p>I’ve been traveling a lot for work. This is my marker so I can come back and read up on all that has happened in our lives (5446)</p>
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<p>If you’d been eavesdropping at our house last night, you would have heard H and I have this conversation. The answer is no and I pointed out how easy it was for him. His first college roommate was a sophomore who had been a year ahead of him in HS. His roommate was part of our “crowd” so from Day 1, H was also a part of our crowd. There was never “no one to eat with” because from the first meal, he had 5 new best friends. He also auditioned his way into a very elite small group that also turned into an instant group of friends. By the first week of school he was part of two tighly knit groups that welcomed him with open arms. We should all be so fortunate!</p>
<p>Of gosh–you brought back memories of being a Junior transfer and in an underclass dorm and sometimes eating alone. But, I also went to decent restaurants and ate alone beginning in my 20’s. And to movies alone. I do have friends but am ok doing things by myself. Hmmmmm how old was your H when he married? Has he ever lived alone? You should remind him how valuable you are to him:) so he has someone ready to do things with…</p>
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<p>He actually did live alone for about 5 years…he was thrilled with it because he has a twin, so between growing up with a twin and having roommates in college, he had never been alone. But I’ll remind him of how lucky he is to have me just the same.</p>
<p>Back to Son’s situation, I am pleased with how seriously he is taking school. I know there will be some parents whose child will not be asked back next year because the child is having way *too much *fun at school.</p>
<p>At lunch, my friend told me that her D’s freshman year, the D talked about volunteering at a soup kitchen. They were very impressed with her. They eventually found out that it was mandatory community service that her Jesuit college had meted out for an alcohol infraction.</p>
<p>My D is very social but does things that surprise me, go to movies out to dinner things that i didnt expect. She goes to school in a city so there is things for everyone. She says she may try the club scene but finds it lame at this point. I had imagined she would go wild but not so-so far. she stays in on weekends to do papers, but alot of kids in her dorm do too. they have movie nights etc… She was always the kind of kid who did what she wanted but I cant imagine if she had to go to a school where there was only one thing to do. I think she would hate it!!!</p>
<p>Is anyone here good at math riddles??? A friend just sent me one and it is driving me crazy! I just posted it in the parent cafe but would love some help. Please!!!</p>
<p>I can’t bother my pretty little head with math riddles.</p>
<p>read it but think there must be a trick in there somewhere</p>
<p>BWAHHAHAHAHA! Thanks missypie! 
hmmmm…have you been reading the girls and math thread! :)</p>
<p>I am a black and white person…but I just KNOW there has to be a trick hidden in there! So who here has the devious mind??? ;)</p>
<p>I <em>think</em> I am beginning to turn the corner on this illness. I have regained some hearing in one ear. I no longer have to have codeine cough medicine to sleep.
But I am very fatigued. (lack of sleep no doubt) I do believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel however.</p>
<p>MissyP
I feel your sadness. It’s tough for a lot of kids, aspergers or not, at this age and in these situations. My S does socialize (more than I would like) but has not developed any real friendships. I think the type of socialization in which he is partaking is not the healthiest type. To me it feels a bit desperate (however I am not there so don’t really know) He told us last time home that he has just not found his crowd yet. My bet is he will be drawn to a frat and I am not sure how I feel about that with him.</p>
<p>Spoke to said boy last evening. Completely unsatisfying, as it felt like he called home as some form of penance or adherance to some sentence or other. I carried on a completely one-sided conversation, trying not to ask questions at all, but stupidly stumbling into questions anyway which netted one word answers like “maybe” or “no” and sometimes the ever popular “I don’t know” with the occasional ubiquitous variation of “I don’t KNOW yet”. </p>
<p>I ended by saying that maybe if he threw me a morsel of info once in a while I would not have to come up with things to ask him. sigh</p>
<p>Maybe I’ll send him the math riddle for a change of pace</p>
<p>TM–glad to hear you are feeling better. finally. You DESERVE to feel better. Do you have a diagnosis?
I realized just today that S has not called home in a long time. e-mailed that a pair of jeans were stolen from the laundry room. Answers texts with a few words.
I started to call him and stopped thinking, “what’s the point, it is not like he is actually going to tell me anything.” I, too, end up asking questions just because no one is saying anything. So–think I will be glad for my one or two words texts. I do love texting him from the computer–that did get his attention. I would just say <em>boys</em> but some others here do have talkers–just did not get one of those.</p>
<p>I have one of the non-talkers - actually he is excellent in person -on the phone not so much. I’m worried now that baseball season is done we will have much less to talk about.
(BTW, did you hear that my team won?)
NMinn - I have a confession. I googled the entire riddle and got the most amazing info: tanning leather hides with veggies, making ale - I guess it takes 4 days to do all that. No answers to the riddle though!!</p>
<p>Fang Jr is Monosyllable Boy on the phone, too. Usually. Occasionally he’ll tell us something. He’ll talk a little more if he has something funny and disparaging to say about the Sharks’ potential playoff performance, but that’s about it.</p>
<p>LOL! I googled too but didn’t come up with much! Tried to engage Ds with the riddle but no luck. Maybe the joke is on me and it really isn’t a riddle! ;)</p>
<p>Got back last night from the 50th wedding anniversary - it was really a lot of fun and my two girls got in some serious bonding time. With a 9 year age gap, it is irreplaceable and my older D has such style and grace that I count on her to “get thru” to D16. It also doesn’t hurt that D16 with actually listen to her and seems to really respect her opinion. So… despite son not being there (who was really really missed BTW), it was a fun weekend. Son did a really nice thing by remembering to call his grandparents (having to make a concerted effort, in fact), and most important Nana was thrilled to talk with him.</p>
<p>Seems the only time son calls is to reflect on his work in class (and mostly this is positive). He’s never been one to blow his own horn too loudly and so I like to hear his confidence when he thinks he’s done extremely well on a test or class discussion. And usually those calls that he truly initiates in the excitment of the moment are much better than those when I call him. Just like everyone else so far, my son is somewhat mute and frankly, when pushed it’s not a good experience for anyone! </p>
<p>I am pleased son seems to have made some good friends and one in particular. It’s always been my theory that all you really need in life is one good friend. Just one. You can have several, sure. But when push comes to shove, you just really need one person you can relate to to truly survive. </p>
<p>Missy - with your son’s roommate already having one foot out the door, this complicates things further. Even if they were never destined to be friends, roommate has probably shut down his own efforts to attach at all, let alone in some meaningful way. That’s going to be hard, but I am really impressed with his efforts having heard so much about him over the last several months. Personally, I would have a little chat with H about letting him reveal only what he wants to reveal and not overly pry at all - at least until Thanksgiving when you can read his face a little bit to see how the conversation is going. In his mind, he might very well be doing fine given his comfort level or what have you, but to field multiple questions might lend itself to insecurity that perhaps it’s not as fine as he thinks. I am sure you know all of that, but I sometimes think my H misplaces his sensitivity chip sometimes and truth is, it’s not like he isn’t sensitive about certain things;but the rules really only apply to other people. Thankfully, he is a man of incredible integrity and character or his life would be very different, indeed.</p>
<p>Oregon101
The diagnosis is double ear infections following the flu.
I am hopeful that I am on the mend</p>
<p>Oh… btw… my nephew ended up in the emergency room on Saturday morning diagnosed with pluresy (sp?) following the flu.</p>
<p>Glad you’re a bit better, #theorymom…I hope you at least got some nice drugs out of it.</p>
<p>Today is youngest D’s birthday. Son managed to get the card mailed today…this is with many many reminders. I told D that most men are serverely greeting card impaired.</p>
<p>^^ No phone call from s to younger d for her birthday nor a card (yeah, right). His attempt at acknowledgment was “It’s your Birthday?” on her facebook somewhere near the tale end of her 50++ notices. She thought it was funny (if not the least bit personal).</p>