<p>While S’s school has not been easy, at least for him, they do accept at risk kids from an academic standpoint and have advanced systems in place for support, despite being a large public. For example, professors must post any grade that is below a C a week before the final add/drop day. Parents are sent weekly emails, including an alert on the day of this post. While the student isn’t forced to reveal their grades, parents are in a position to ask some pretty specific questions. (Also, we have our son’s password for billing purposes so can see anything for ourselves as well.) Likewise, the advsior meets with every student after those grades are posted and asks point-blank if anything has shown up. If the student says they don’t know, the advisor asks the student to sign into their account and look it up while in the meeting. While a student could legally refuse to do this, most will realize it is in their best interest to cooperate. Not only will the advisor recommend the class be dropped, but the college has remedial classes in all core subjects set up for these kids to transfer into mid-semester after the drop. As I mentioned earlier, today’s email gives step by step instructions for what to do if a failure still occurs, along with office hours and phone numbers of who to contact. None of this type of handholding was evident at our older son’s college, which was much more academically selective.</p>
<p>Missy,
My S is talking about taking an online course over winter break to get rid of a requirment. Could your son take one or two in an effort to push up his gpa if necessary?</p>
<p>Wow, that system sounds so nice! I had his password through most of the semester. There was a place on the site for the profs to list grades, but they didn’t post any grades online until the final grade.</p>
<p>^ That is a little surprising. At the uni where I work and taught classes for a while, if a student was in danger of failing a class at mid-term, we were required to post an academic advisory.</p>
<p>In all fairness to the school, I think things started going south about midterm (have no idea what the midterm grade was.) They have an early warning system, but it’s at about the three week mark. I think it’s designed to alert the kids who just aren’t going to class.</p>
<p>missypie…ugh! So sorry for the worries. Sounds like you are doing the right thing, gahering information in order to move ahead and perhaps help advocate for your S. Look at all the options and ask questions. I’m sure the school doesn’t want to lose him as a student. You are a good mom with great insight and will guide S through this rough patch.
{{{HUGS}}}}</p>
<p>I think the most alarming story was a CC poster who told of the story of her roommate who didn’t have the nerve to tell her parents that she wouldn’t be graduating with her class. Her parents came for graduation week, went to all the events, had the requisite celebrations and were half-way across the bridge on the way to the actual graduation ceremony when their child told them the news. Parents and kid turned around mid-bridge.</p>
<p>Can’t remember who the poster was, but that story really stuck in my brain. Made D1 promise to not do something similar to us. Just tell us the bad news honey.</p>
<p>I had a cousin who not only didn’t graduate, but had completely dropped out of school without telling his parents. They were sending him money (he was living off campus in an apartment) and he was pretending to pay his tuition and go to school for several semesters without in fact even being registered. They found out when they started planning the expected graduation. (I don’t think they actually showed up to the ceremony.) It still is hard to wrap your arms around how this could happen, but it is a true story. He never did finish college, but has a very successful career in the music business. His parents ultimately forgave him and required him to pay them back, but it was a big family scandal at the time.</p>
<p>I don’t usually follow this thread as I have enough trouble keeping up with my class of '10 parents thread, but I opened it today and want to send (((HUGS)))) to missypie, who’s always been one of my most supportive mentors on here. People have a lot of of good advice on here.</p>
<p>D2 attended class this am and it was the last one before Final on Wednesday. She said very few people were there. Prof has been upset that class attendance is poor. Prof then proceeded to tell those in attendance what exactly would be on the final and that several questions would be repeated from previous exams. He pointed to a stack of papers and said those were exams not picked up by students because they weren’t coming to class and they obviously would make the same mistakes again. She said she is glad she goes to class!</p>
<p>Once again, I love each of you for talking me down.</p>
<p>The financial aid lady made me feel a lot better. I guess I do have to remember that this is a CTCL LAC that wants enrollment - it doesn’t live to flunk students out.</p>
<p>We’ll get a letter early next week from them telling us what has happened (GPA under 3.0). She said she always feels like the Grinch sending them out right before Christmas because students always tell themselves they’ll fess up after Christmas.</p>
<p>Merit aid will stay in place second semester. GPA doesn’t have to be 3.0 by then if there has been “significant progress.” Third semester is the “last chance” to get the GPA up but even then there are appeals. She said it looks a lot better if the student has used the Center for Academic Success than if he hasn’t.</p>
<p>I did call Son and tell him all this. This morning H said that if the news is good not to tell Son to “scare the hell out of him” but I couldn’t do that. The high school choir concert is tonight and the alums always go and I didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t face his friends because of this.</p>
<p>Okay, please resume your holiday festivities. I sure hope I’m the only one of us who has this problem!!!</p>
<p>No grades here yet. Only 2 of S3’s 4 professors seem to use the blackboard site.</p>
<p>S3 is historically erratic grade wise. He tends to focus huge effort on whatever class is troubling him the most and then tanks others that are easy because he ignores them.</p>
<p>This semester he held true to form. Math is hard for him. He worked ceaselessly in calc and pulled an A! He was excused from the final because his average was so high. But oops! He studied so hard and long for one of the calc exams that he forgot an assignment due in his business class that was 20% of the grade. He was basically done but forgot to do his final go over and hit send. Professor would not accept it a day late. He received a 0 on an assignment in a class he had been doing very well in. </p>
<p>So we know he has an A in calc and a ??? in easy Intro to Business and he is hoping for a B in Spanish (he thinks he bombed the oral final) and a B in Econ (so far the professor has not given any student higher than an A- on any assignment or exam).</p>
<p>First semester is a learning experience in so many ways.</p>
<p>But right now he looks so sweet. He is out cold, sleeping on his stomach like he always has. And our little doggy (really his little doggy) is curled up in a ball, sleeping on his back. She is not letting the love of her little life go ANYWHERE!</p>
<p>Yay for the optimistic news.
Your S will learn from this experience and come out all the stronger and wiser for it.
He is so lucky to have you as his supportive and loving mom. I mean it.</p>
<p>oh missypie I have been following this over the last few days and I can NOT tell you how relieved I am for you. WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO</p>
<p>You aren’t the only one with a kid who struggled first semester. TwinK asked for help too late and will likely be facing either a change in major or repeating Calc and/or Chem. They are in her major and even though she may earn passing credit she likely didn’t do well enough to make the requisite grade in the class to go on to the next level. First semester is a weeding out time for her major and she may decide to go another route.</p>
<p>Hi all. I’m a relatively newcomer to CC with a 2013 D who was completely self-motivated and needed minimal help from me. D2, a junior, needs more involvement from me (I’m very excited to be more active in this search) so I’ve been lurking the last few weeks. I came across this thread and didn’t know if I could jump in at this late date but can certainly relate to so many of the posts about adjustments to roommates, college in general, missing our kids, etc. etc.</p>
<p>What motivated me to finally post today was missypie’s posts–I’m so sorry you and S are going through this and was actually holding my breath until I saw your last post that things aren’t as dire as they originally seemed! So happy that S is welcome back for second semester and there’s help available, understanding people to work with along the way, etc. I hope your S is feeling a little better. And, as others have said, he’s certainly in good company–the transition to college can be so tough. So glad the news from the school was positive. Happy holidays to all.</p>
<p>Missypie, I’ve been checking in all morning, hoping it was good news for you and your son. It sounds doable!!! Yeah!!!</p>
<p>Yes, I’m sure there will be several more tales of less than ideal first semester grades. I will admit I was on academic probation for a semester or two due to some very poor grades sophomore year. Long story, not worth going into, except to say that today I think being a first generation college student played a roll. The next semester I made the Dean’s List. I didn’t want to have to move home. </p>
<p>D has her first exams today. When I was a student I would sometimes have nightmares that I missed a class or final. Obviously this was not my sophomore year. Last night I dreamed she did it. It was all I could do not to call or text her this morning.</p>
Sounds like you are doing the right thing, gahering information in order to move ahead and perhaps help advocate for your S. Look at all the options and ask questions. I’m sure the school doesn’t want to lose him as a student. You are a good mom with great insight and will guide S through this rough patch.