<p>TheAnalyst - you are a head of me. Not even thinking about starting the diet until the 1st. I just am not ready yet. Getting ready however and getting the right food in the house to help me out. I need to mentally prepare however as I really need to do this and be successful this time around.</p>
<p>D is supposed to be able to see her grades today at noon on line. S ended up with an A, 3 A-, and a B+. He’s upset about the B+ but says that he knew that class participation was part of the grade and he didn’t participate as he found the class boring – it was Cuba and Politics class. Not my cup of tea but he gets things like that quickly so unless the professor challenged the class S probably did find it boring. School has always been easy for him. Not so for D and since she chose a reach school I’m interested to see the grades. No scholarship (as they only offer financial aid) so that isn’t an issue but with the amount we are paying I want her to come out with a good education ;)</p>
<h1>tm, so sorry about your son, but it looks to me like he is equally disappointed in himself and will figure out what to do. College (especially CS/Math) can be quite a shock to kids who have breezed through school. We were shocked (and pleased) to catch our son at office hours several times when we called him on Sunday afternoons. As for myself - I had a much better time at college once I figured out to major in what I loved, not what I thought I loved.</h1>
<p>“one thing he mentioned was having to leave his room to study next term - good idea - I hope he does it”</p>
<p>I’ve suggested this to my son who is also struggling. We got, I kid you not, about 6 pieces of mail relating to academics the day after Christmas. At least it was timed so it didn’t come Christmas Eve. We knew, based on grades, that he would be on academic probation. That part was no surprise. </p>
<p>School has offered participation in their “success” program. Involves having a mentor, study skills workshops, supervised study hall, intensive academic advising, you name it. I just wish it had been available before he got to this point. </p>
<p>One small problem. A motivated student would be required. H is placing some tough calls today while S is off for a long weekend away from his hated parents. #theorymom, I’m glad your son is still talking to and sharing with you. </p>
<p>Happily, D survived her first engineering semester. The “core” courses she had to take this semester were not necessarily her areas of strength but she did exceptionally well with 18 tough credits. She knows she can do it now and that was a big confidence booster. Also helped her to define and narrow her focus- glad she’s at a school that can offer her opportunities outside of “pure” engineering.</p>
<p>Hugs to #theorymom and son. And just so you know, despite whatever your musician H. says, music and jazz theory IS HARD and failing it does not mean a darned thing about a student’s talent or proclivity in jazz IMHO. It just means that he may not have been steeped in theory for 8 yrs like some conservatory kids doing western theory can be. And now he’s faced with breaking the rules, aka a complete rearrangement of western rules. It’s just not something you “get” in a few short weeks without a lot of prior exposure. It is especially trying for horn players who have not typically had to sight read bass clef. McSon is getting As and A+s in his composition classes/assignments yet failed his theory class final exam. And yet he’s never written such beautiful music. So theory does not a musician make : ) (Which doesn’t mean in s’s case that he doesn’t NEED to hurry up and steep himself in it…he does…but in hs he was a horn player with no piano and he’s just way behind on the curve…) At any rate, I just wanted to throw my .02 in on your comment and let you know that I have had it on good authority that LOTS of talented musicians fail theory the first, and sometimes even the SECOND time they take it. Just have him pick away at it daily and it will start to gel.</p>
<p>Also, you mentioned psych assessment. McSon is doing same for Auditory processing disorder and apparent additional processing speed issues (eg. did not FINISH theory exam…). I am wondering if the timed-test nature of that particular courseload didn’t contribute greatly to your son’s rough term…eg. math and music theory are very quiz/test/exam oriented. Just a thought. Sendin ya the light!</p>
<p>Thanks for all the warm thoughts… And I agree with NMN that kids need and should advocate for themselves in all areas. I have never been one of those parents to talk to the coaches (except in pleasantries) about playing time etc. But I have to draw the line on what I felt was purposeful snubbing leading to public humiliation. </p>
<p>She works really hard, which was confirmed by the assistant coach. Let’s just say that when you put in a barely 4’ 10 (who is very much a decent point guard but has no chance of rebounding or shooting under the basket) as center when the center fouled out (over my D who is 5’8" and could just stand there and be more of an obstacle than a 100 pound waif), it was a purposeful snub. Apparently H sent an email asking for some explanation so he could “advise his daughter going forward” and certainly if she was late for practices or otherwise showed a disrespect for the coach or the team, her lack of playing would be understandable. However, we already know the last statement is not accurate and so now he’s just waiting to see if she responds. D will talk to her, but I definitely want the coach to know that we’re listening to her explanations as well. If crushing a kid’s confidence and self-esteem is part of this new coach’s technique to somehow inspire, I’d like to know that now before I sit as a parent for the next three years.</p>
<p>I do not like when kids who are talented get special consideration and I do not like when kids who are less talented are treated like crap. The only other time I’ve ever spoken to a coach at this school before is when I thought S was acting like a prima dona his sophomore year and so I asked for the coach to have some nerve and bench him. He gave some reason that S was merely passionate, and I said… no, he was acting like a jerk. He benched him once and that’s all it took. Next game, he benched him early and got in his face and prima dona behavior was gone. Reward that and you’ve got issues later on. My sister was a coach for 25 years.</p>
<p>Sabaray - hugs to your family as you figure out and come to terms with Sabarayson’s situation.</p>
<p>Analyst
I KNOW, that course load sounds hideous doesn’t it? But when I showed him some other courses he could take, he pointed out they all have written exams and written papers and assignments - solo projects - which for him would be harder. Math and CS assigns group or team projects which, for him he says, are better, keep him on track, more motivating - and I think we get to the crux of the exams - which are solo projects. He has a hard time staying focused and on track.
The way he explains away his issues:
Jazz Theory final took him 2 days (4 hours each day he says) to come up with his composition. He came up with his chords and progressions then ran out of time and says he had no melody. (but I find out he never even bought the text book!Begs the question, what kind of committment was there?)
Analysis, to add to his disgrace, was filled with advanced HS students (the freaks of nature) and he had no one to team up with - they all went home. Most engineering students stay away from this series it turns out.
CS - he did not like the teacher and turned her off - well, now he has to retake - same teacher, guess he will learn from that…or not. But he can’t take that until the final term so he is taking Discrete Math instead. I hope it is more to his style of math mind and he just totally gets into it - like he used to_ I pointed it out to him, how he used to treat is like a game or puzzle and spend hours on a problem if necessary. We talked about how he needs to feel that spark again</p>
<p>All I know is the next 2 months are going to be hell for me, waiting and wanting to know. And not knowing a thing</p>
<p>For some reason this simply cracked me up. And seeing as I barely understood Kmccrindle’s post, I am thinking theory sounds really really really hard!!!</p>
<p>the holidays arent even over and it starts. No grades here.
t’m he will prevail so stressful and they sound like tough classes. I hate to see the tears. MD I have dealt with that over the years, you are doing the right thing.
Myd1 says she goes to another campus to study and write as her dorm room is too busy and even at the library too social. I learned the hard way myself what it took to suceed and you r son will too. hopefully the testing will help too. It will all sort out, but you will be biting your nails until it does.</p>
<h1>tm - My heart really goes out to you. I would like to suggest blossom’s post on the “My S is failing” thread. I just remember all the last minute stuff your S was doing last spring for graduation and his schedule next semester sounds so very, very difficult.</h1>
<p>We’ve gone through a similar situation. Junior S is very bright, studied minimally in HS, never argued with a teacher over a grade. Fantastic test scores, so-so GPA. He has NEVER advocated for himself and had a pretty awful freshman year necessitating a drop from the honors program he was in. Has improved since then but never over 3.0. Kind of like the gentleman’s C of yore. Yes, i know you think he can do it. I thought the same of my S - I still do. But whether or not he wants to actually do or is capable of organizing himself to do the very hard work that goes into it is another story. And you know what, that’s OK too. S has shown us time and again that he is adventurous and a huge risk-taker. Freshman D who doesn’t have the level of smarts her brother does, enjoys working hard, is always at prof’s door and really knows how to advocate for herself. She did very well this semester at an extreme reach school for her. I can only imagine what S could do with D’s work ethic, but, as always in our house, it comes down to loving the kid on the couch.
IMHO, let him take a few courses that he can get good grades in. Build his confidence, work habits, sense of responsibility. My biggest advice to all incoming freshman is to never use those AP credits especially in something the student will continue to study. HS AP Calc is nothing like college calc.</p>
<p>Well grades are in and she did fantastic in my opinion. She would have liked to do better but 2 B’s, 1 B+ and 1 A- seemed good enough to me!! She has been working hard and did run on the team in the fall so that seems fantastic in my opinion. During the weekends she says that she gets up early on Sat and Sun and studies until her friends get up and are ready to go to breakfast/lunch. She has the work ethic but I know that the classes are difficult.</p>
<p>A lot of kids who come in with AP credit for Calculus end up struggling in more advanced calculus courses. A lot of kids. Is there any way he can take Calc II instead?</p>
<p>Woody, don’t think I can talk him into repeating I and II especially since he has now taken Analysis I and II and there is some overlap. Maybe I can talk him into Calc II though, since he did not complete AII</p>
<p>Thanks Mathmom, Fang and DTE and all of you who have such sage advice. I really need to hear it.</p>
<p>Moda “freaks of nature” were of course my son’s own words. Then he say, why couldn’t you have moved to somewhere where I would have got a good math education?
All well, someone has to be to blame.</p>
<p>I know he knows it is up to him, but it helps to vent a bit</p>
<p>D took Calc II this first semester since she wasn’t sure how difficult it would be. I think she’s glad that she took it. Gave her one easy class – well sort of. She knew the ideas and didn’t work as hard in that class.</p>
<p>theory-He really needs to speak with an advisor prior to taking ANY more classes. This is not something he can figure out without help. I’m sure this has happened many times before and the advisor can help him figure out the best courses for him based on his experiences at the school and your S’s background and knowledge base. In addition to his general advisor, he may want to also meet with someone in the math dept to help determine the best track to follow. Please don’t try to do this without help and guidance from the school.</p>
<p>You may also want to consider an academic coach to help get your S back on track. They can help him set up a schedule, organize tasks, balance academic and social calendars and understand when to ask for help. Since he is trying to be independent and go it alone, you may need to make some study skills requirements a condition of letting him return (academic coach, tutoring, attending office hours, meeting with an advisor, etc). I have one who was the “go it alone” type and sometimes you just have to force it. The good thing is once they see the benefits, they tend to “get it”. Good luck.</p>
<p>The specialists where we had our D’s (and me) tested has a few of these coaches available. I also know my brother in law does this for students at the school where his wife teaches (and so students are often referred and once he had a few students, word of mouth took care of the rest).</p>