<p>Treetopleaf, I’m going to make sure I communicate that the pressure isn’t from me. Grades are instrumental, not intrinsic, and he has to weight the tradeoffs.</p>
<p>FFScout, good to know
And yes, I am wishing S was less social than he has become. I have told him a Frat would be a bad idea for him as the social stuff is what is keeping him from doing the work he can most certainly do (as evidenced by A term)
I wonder when we will ever stop worrying about them</p>
<p>I have similar worries about my D, #TM. S was always very social but of course that only increased once he was no longer under our roof. D has definitely become a social butterfly at college after being a hermit in HS and while grades are “fine” they were not the level of fine we were accustomed to seeing. Hopefully she’ll keep it all balanced this term. I remind myself constantly that college is a period of adjustment, particularly first term.</p>
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<p>Well, I was a cc transfer from a tiny little town, I did not know any adults who were greek…and I got in. </p>
<p>That’s all I’ll say, I think we can agree to disagree, and it looks like this thread has moved on anyway.</p>
<p>D got a job! Actually an internship for the spring, very part time and not a lot of money, but we are both very excited!
And you all know about this before H does. He’s out of town on business, D is calling him this evening.</p>
<p>Oh Fallgirl… I have nothing against sororities… honest. I think I said that earlier. I am just of the feeling that’s it’s about belonging and being in the club. Whereas some are about legacy, some are about money and some may be about looks or maybe it’s just a combination of sorts. I don’t think we disagree that it’s a club - you either belong or you don’t. And that is not necessarily a bad thing.</p>
<p>Per Moda:
This explains a lot. While he refuses to Rush, he does run with a fun little gaggle of guys n’ gals, some of the latter of which might be called “hot” (not that I’ve actually met them, but facebook reveals a good deal ; )</p>
<p>Shawbridge: Great convo, thanks for recreating it for us. In response to:
In a former existence I did take a few law courses and was once invited to become an Assistant Crown Attorney (and go back to school for a JD). (While I did publish in a journal on media law, in the end, I did not go back or accept the AC offer). I also had a number of friends who went into law (in a wide range of disciplines.) I also spent a number of years as a criminal justice journalist (hence further exposure to a wide range of lawyers.) That said, I am NOT a lawyer.
From your description of your son, especially the debate hobby, logic, etc., it sounds like it might be a nice fit. But I will say the volume of reading and scanning for salient info, whether in criminal or corporate, etc., is very daunting and you may wish to have him consider/prepare for this aspect. I am equally certain that need not be a stone in the path as reader software improves, etc. and once you’re at a level where you have great assistants prepping briefs it obviously becomes better. But to be market-competitive in billables and construct the best argument/approaches does require a speedy wade through horrendous amounts of material. - Just a consideration. Best way to find out is to have him work in or shadow at a law office in the preferred discipline during U.G.
Cheers,
K</p>
<p>PS Congrats, FallGirl n D!</p>
<p>Congrats to the D, Fallgirl!! Seriously, we have yet to have these kinds of conversations with our Son - and I have no real idea about what he wants to do with his life in a professional way. I figured we’d at least wait until he finished out the year and see if he still likes the sciences as much as he did going in!!</p>
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<p>OK… I have never asked son this question either… although they don’t have fraternities, they apparently have senior apt like dorms where a lot of the parties are held. I have no idea who pays for what or cover charges. My only experience is personal and I just recall walking in the door free whereas the guys had to pay a buck. Let’s be clear, it was a long long time ago.</p>
<p>Awesome about the job, Fallgirl!</p>
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<p>It’s an issue that’s important to discuss with our kids when they’re choosing a school. If they are the type who would never pledge in a million years and all of the schools on their list are heavily Greek, maybe some reconsideration is in order. And vice versa if they want to go Greek and their school doesn’t have frats. Also, kids need to be educated on what it all costs and if money is a real concern, they need to know up front if it’s not something you can pay for. In addition, with second semester rush it would be good to inform a student in advance that if their GPA is below [name a number], they will not pledge. These are all things to talk about with our students, no matter what we personally feel about the topic.</p>
<p>^</p>
<p>Missy- I think you are absolutely right about that.</p>
<p>Remember that post from last year where the mom from the Northeast whose wardrobe was mostly LLBean was trying to figure out what to wear to her D’s southern sorority tea? I fear that will be me in a few years. Being from Texas, I’ll have the clothes but will still fear being an obvious fish out of water.</p>
<p>There are sorority teas for mothers?! :eek: Now I am in real trouble! I won’t have the appropriate clothes or manners ;)</p>
<p>Missypie and PRJ do not fear. If your Ds are anything like mine they will coach you in an effort to prevent you from embarrassing them! :rolleyes:</p>
<p>So D is firmly decided that she wants to switch out of Bio. The thought of struggling through another higher level math demoralizes her right now. It’s a shame because she gets the science completely but falls short with the math component. In an effort to show her that there is more than one way to skin a cat I sent her the link to he colleges environmental studies major since it doesn’t require math for the BA and has the option actually for almost as much bio as a bio major. I was gently rebuffed…I don’t mind I just want her to find a discipline that engages her and helps her enjoy going to classes.</p>
<p>She still hasn’t rescheduled her classes. Jan term is over on fri and she is still scheduled into a math she can’t take, because she failed the prerequisite and a chem she can’t take because she got a D in the pre-req. I assume it will all work out and won’t pester her about it further. She may end up in a class or two no one else wanted and maybe those will be the ones that excite her. She is enjoying her Jan term class so that is a good sign!</p>
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<p>It depends on the group, but some have all kinds of events that involve parents - moms at this and dads at that and both at yet another event. That’s another thing to discuss with a child who wants to pledge, esp. if they are in a distant location … how frequently you would be willing or able to attend events at the school. (Of course, if your D is a legacy and lots of other Ds are legacies, you’d probably be delighted to attend the events. Just like we made a one day round trip to hear Son’s choir concert because we are choir folks…other parents would deem it torture.)</p>
<p>I’m enjoying the talk on sororities and frats. S had no interest in rushing and instead chose to be involved (heavily as he is now co-president) in the honors program. D specifically chose a school that has no greek system at all. It’s interesting to hear all of the information. I was not interested when I was in college but some of that was probably because I met a guy my first couple of weeks there who I date for 2 years until I met my now husband. Just interesting to learn about.</p>
<p>FallGirl, major congrats on the job. S2 claims to be too busy to get anything this semester even though I suggested he try for a few hours doing something. I was raised on the mantra that “a change of work is rest” and “idle hands are the devil’s playthings” and all that. He is going to a job fair in February that features summer jobs and is reportedly looking for something “fun.”</p>
<p>Historymom, has your D decided on a new major? I thought your idea sounded perfect. Thanks to your calm reaction, I told S2 that we would support him in whatever he wanted to do this summer, support being metaphorical of course because we won’t be paying for him to do something obviously unless it’s summer school.</p>
<p>The Analyst: No she hasn’t switched yet but she is decided that it is not going to be bio. I hope she holds off, takes some more of her core requirements and finds something that makes her happy. Thanks for supporting my solution…personally I thought it was brilliant too 
but the girl believed it flawed for whatever reason and I won’t push it. Maybe she will come back to it at some point.</p>
<p>well got a note from #theoryson who is quite proud to be all A’s so far this term. Of course the term is barely underway, but there are only about 5 more weeks. Apparently he has had several exams, all of which he got A’s on. Hope he hangs in there. I am pretty proud of him at the moment. He tells me this is the easiest term of classes he has had yet. Calc III, Discrete Math and Physics. I think maybe it is not that it is easier, but that it seems easier because he is taking it more seriously and keeping up with work - or that is what I am hoping and that he is not going to be lulled into a false sense of security again. Still have not figured out how he will make up the classes he got no credit for. Overloading is not a good option for him. He may have to take some clsses at the CC this summer.</p>
<p>Hang in there Hmom. I can’t seem to get S to give any of my ideas credence either.</p>
<p>My older D always started out extremely strong. And then… when actually putting in the work seems to produce good results, she would slow it all down thinking it was “easy.” for some reason, it took her a long time to correlate effort with results, thinking the two were somehow unrelated? I have no idea. Point is, please keep encouraging #tm son to not slow down one bit and it only SEEMS easy because he’s staying on top of his responsibilities and this surely won’t be the case if he so much as blinks! 
It’s not that you don’t believe in him - quite the opposite in fact - and you just want him to prove it to himself!</p>
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<h1>theorymom, hooray. I agree with Modadunn. The aim is that he learn (and you reinforce) the link between effort and results. While this is would seem obvious, it does seem to take a bunch of kids by surprise and may need some real reinforcement.</h1>