<p>
</p>
<h1>theorymom- this is easier??? I am very impressed with anyone who takes this schedule. Good job #theoryson, keep it up.</h1>
<p>I think S2’s first round of tests this semester are next week. I’m afraid he is spending all of his time on computer science to the detriment of Physics, Calc II, and Engineering. The CS class has a lot of assigned homework, while the others are just “studying.” At least he seems to be really enjoying the CS stuff and hasn’t complained about anything else. We’ll see what the test grades look like. </p>
<h1>TM, that’s great news on your son. Even if he has a hiccup later, the A’s so far prove to him that he can be successful. A belief that you “can” as opposed to a belief that you “can’t” makes a big difference in outcome.</h1>
<p>One of the motivators for S2 is that he thinks he is at least as smart (if not smarter) than his older brother, probably because his brother’s ADD makes S1 act like a space cadet much of the time. But because of that belief, S2’s assumption is that if S1 could handle a systems engineering major, then it goes without saying that he can as well. </p>
<p>S1 has always had a much greater work ethic. His friends in high school were all top 5%-10% of the class and he wanted to keep up. But because of the ADD (which was not diagnosed or treated until his senior year), he had to work really hard to do so. S2 hung out with non-honors kids who were around the 25%-50% of the class and gradually sank to their level, even though he is in fact very bright. He is still learning what it means to work hard, but that sibling comparison has given S2 a basic confidence that he can do it.</p>
<p>shawbridge - great posts here by the way. Let me know when the book is available for purchase. I will happily get in line. </p>
<p>I - for one - have not managed to convey the lesson between efforts and results. Ds1 returned to school and enrolled in a heavy courseload compared to last semester. I - of course - am concerned because, at least in hs, he would have trouble each and every third quarter due to some degree of ‘coasting’ from the grades of first term. He was generally able to pull it out and do well 4th quarter and on finals - here’s to hoping that outcome this time too, though my heart is a bit heavy thinking that - of the 18 credits he’s selected for this semester - not one class sounds like a gut. My night owl was able to arrange his classwork to avoid the dreaded 8am class - and hopefully, he’ll avoid his quasi-recurring 3rd quarter slump …</p>
<p>Son has yet to meet with his much heralded peer mentor. The first meeting was supposed to be last Wednesday, then she cancelled, so it’s supposed to be this Wednesday. Yes, the person who was supposed to help him get organized for the semester. I’m obvously displeased. I guess I’ll wait until the meeting happens. Son will be home this weekend to see the musical so I’ll grill him about how it’s going then.</p>
<p>That is unfortunate about the peer mentor. S has already had two meetings with his and it has definitely helped him to plan out his week and what he needs to get accomplished. They’ve also talked about workshops for S to attend - it’s amazing that when the mentor suggests using a planner how well S has taken it! Contrast that with the response to my suggestions. Grades have also improved significantly, so we’ll hope that trend continues.</p>
<p>Missy… this ticks me off. Here is a kid who needs someone’s help, is not used to even asking and will likely feel LESS inclined to ask if in asking he is essentially blown off. And if she did cancel, I might make a phone call to the school to ask what the alternatives might be if this person is proving themselves unavailable.</p>
<p>S is in his last week of J-term, has made plans to go skiing with a group of friends this weekend and then going to visit my sister where it’s warm for a few days. Hopefully, she will convince him to get a hair cut and get plenty of rest before second semester begins. For some reason, he seems to have a perpetual cold and yet denies it when I talk to him. I asked him what he was doing for his cold, and his response is, “what cold?” I think he has gotten so used to it, it has become his normal. Fortunately, my sister is the type who will coddle him enough but who also has great expectations for him and knows how to lay that out without overwhelming him. I’ve never quite managed that particular balance in delivery. I have become thankful she never had kids of her own as I need all the help I can get!! :)</p>
<p>DH has a business meeting in Eggson’s town today. They will meet for lunch and I am envious. </p>
<p>Eggson’s first class today is at 2.
His MWF classes start at 10.
He has only one class on Thursday and it is at 5 pm.</p>
<p>I dont know how he managed this dream schedule, but I’m sure it contributes to how happy he is about the classes and college overall.</p>
<p>He was assigned a peer mentor last semester and refused to meet him/her until he got a stern letter saying that all freshmen were required to meet a mentor or their names would be put on a list (or some pseudo punishment). I think they met the last week of class. I doubt he followed the mentor’s advice any more than mine.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>.Historymom: This happened to my daughter in the fall and it worked out just this way…Kids find their own way and that is part of what it is all about…</p>
<p>Okay, I couldn’t stand it. I emailed the academic success and disabilites people and told them no peer mentor meeting yet. Replies were that Son needs to be proactive and that the mentor is just a student, too.</p>
<p>Problem last semester: Son was not proactive in getting help.</p>
<p>Solution at meeting in early January: Peer mentor will meet with Son to help.</p>
<p>School response when this hasn’t happened: Son needs to be more proactive in getting help.</p>
<p>Gosh, how much do these people get paid for Stating the Obvious?</p>
<p>missypie - this is ridiculous. IMHO, you’ve reached the “not getting what you are paying for” point. I would call them and lay out the steps just like you did above.</p>
<p>ShawSon went to first day of classes. He is signed up for an advanced course in a field he might major in. He took the intro from the same professor last term. He thought the professor didn’t like him but gave him an A+ (well, he got 98 and 99 on the two mid-terms and 100 on the final, which had a median of 77). ShawSon thinks the prof is a very good teacher, not inspiring but very clear explainer. </p>
<p>At the first class, the prof launches into a tirade about how freshman should not be taking the class because it is too hard (there are other freshman there) and assigns two book chapters and two other articles for the second class (at which there will be a quiz). This was not supposed to be ShawSon’s heavy reading class as he is also signed up for a course that I’d guess is a combination of constitutional law and sociology of law. He called me up a little concerned. I told him to talk to his new adviser (the Dean who had been his adviser has been promoted so he asked for and got his freshman seminar prof, who is in the same department as the too-hard-for-freshman course). I suspect he should aim for one of the classes and see if he can get into a non-reading class (he went to computer science 101 and it had a very good professor and didn’t look hard to ShawSon).</p>
<p>I don’t get it Shawbridge… if it’s not meant for freshman, why do they allow freshman to enroll? Some professors just like to intimidate and don’t like to care for “needy” freshman. My SIL is a professor and she teaches one freshman course. By far they monopolize her office hours more so than any other class of students. (although from most accounts it wouldn’t be OUR students here on this thread!)</p>
<p>If I was ShawSon I’d take the hint. I think the prof really means “I don’t want Freshmen. I’ll do everything I can to make this very difficult for Freshmen.”</p>
<h1>tm - yay on the good grades! And he called you to tell you! :)</h1>
<p>hi all–DH and I went to the beach for a tiny break. While in my favorite gallery H was on the cell telling S that he needed to print off the scholarship application NOW as there could be technical problems as we had tried to print a copy for his home file and the formating was wrong. S’s reply “I have time, it is not due until tomorrow (less than 24 hrs) and I am on my way to the grocery with friends”. I tell D that if he does not call us in 2 hours and say it is done that -x will happen ( take back some $ I generously gave him for dinner with his GF). Got the call. However, Monday morning while looking for whales we get a call asking about a note he needed to attach…
This procrastination is just crazy and truly something I don’t understand. So far he said this semesters work is a lot more than last, so this is a worry.</p>
<p>Missypie–have you thought about calling the dean. I think I would try to get a telephone conversation with him/her. Probably the person who deals with freshman acedemics. I can’t imagine how frustrated you must feel right now. I should remember what school/size your S is in but am pulling a blank right now–but that should not matter, someone needs to step up there and help. </p>
<p>Looks like many of us are concerned that our kids keep up their momentum for this last 1/2 of the year. fingers crossed for all.</p>
<p>I am going to wait to see if tomorrow’s peer mentor meeting happens and what Son thinks. He may think she can help or may think the process is useless. Before I know that, I don’t really know what to ask for.</p>
<p>It’s a 1300 student “Colleges That Change Lives” LAC.</p>
<p>missypie that is beyond frustrating! I am so sorry that your S and you are running into brick walls!</p>
<p>Do you think the peer mentor will be enough (assuming that she is helpful?). If not then calling the dean with a “my son has a special situation and was accepted with the school knowing this and which professor/advisor etc should he be contacting for extra support because if he does not get it now he will have been on of your failed students” kind of talk. " and what has been offered so far is just not enought" I just don’t think going for broke is a bad idea if you think he is not going to succeed without more help from the school and the lady who is suppose to be helping is clearly not. I would think she would have set him up with someone --a prof or a student/tutor to be mentored at least weekly if not twice a week. oh, gosh, I have to dash to work and just know all of us are with you and know you are doing a great job. If just one of us could be that lady…</p>
<p>It’s interesting to think back on our rationale for looking at very small but moderately selective LACs…he’d get personal attention, not get lost in the crowds, etc.</p>
<p>I keep thinking back on our visit to a mid-tier state school. The tutoring center was huge. As a fairly non-selective school, they admit a lot more “at risk” students than Son’s school does, so they are totally set up to deal with kids who need help.</p>
<p>Is it possible that he would have done better at the 10,000 student non-selective state U, than at the well regarded small LAC?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I don’t think that’s a leap at all, Missy and following my daughter’s experience (also a CTCL’s school at the time), I made it a point to assess the breadth and depth of additional support at all the school’s son considered (and will do the same for younger D). As it is, he probably needs it less to succeed, but I know it does seem plentiful and available. Some schools require a lot of paperwork for resources and some just put certain things out there for anyone to take advantage of all the time. Doing a search on Student Support Services usually brings up an array of options from Peer tutoring to writing and math centers to managing time/workload workshops. I am not so sure that CTCL actually looks at the available supports and their ease of use as much as it assumes/concludes a small community offers a better opportunity for connectedness - which has been said to be a major factor in student success. Mostly I think those schools work best for average students where professors know your name and hold you accountable for showing up etc. I am not so sure they are specifically geared to those with any kind of need for special services per say. I find the fact that a kid has to meet with a peer tutor to get help with managing their time a little bit of hoop jumping, but what the school says is partially correct in that the kid has to advocate for himself. This puts you in a difficult position in that the school can’t force itself on the boy. </p>
<p>The problem, as I’ve experienced it and I’ve said this before, those kids that often need the most direction in terms of allocation of time/resources are often the ones least likely to ask for it. Time and again it has been proven to me that the cycle of self-esteem and success are very much entwined. If you believe you are very much worth the time and energy of others, you don’t seem to mind asking. If you feel like you HAVE to do it on your own and that people are inconvenienced by you, well… it goes without saying a kid will say, “oh nevermind” or “I get it” when they clearly don’t.</p>
<p>A semester, as we know, flies by. How many cancelled appointments results in no help whatsoever. And your kid HAS signed up for help only to be, for whatever reason (honorable or not) rebuffed. Do these peer tutors realize the psychological affects of this? Especially when no previous relationships exists? You have said she is a psych major… hmm. All you have to do is watch Dr Phil for about a week to know how easily skewed people’s perceptions can become.</p>