<p>Glad you had a good day, missypie, and enjoyed the concert. </p>
<p>I had an anxiety filled weekend. I don’t know why I’m feeling so stressed. I think just general lack of communication from D leads me to believe she’s doing things I wouldn’t approve of. She really needs a strong finish to the year and I am just not sure she’s focusing on her academics the way that she should. Financial anxiety is also playing a huge role- not knowing son’s plans, not knowing D’s aid status for next year- gah. She wants to take a class this summer and she really needs to have a job to do that- and I’m just not confident that her academics are strong enough for the jobs she wants. </p>
<p>I thought things were supposed to get easier once they’re actually IN college!</p>
<p>Now, now Sabaray. Your D has never really given you trouble in the “things we don’t approve of” area, right? Look, she was busy with the job apps and interviews last week, she has to study for upcoming exams and she has to figure out the CS v. math course for the summer as I remember. I know what it’s like to go from from about 800 texts/day to nothing from D but it turned out she was just too darn busy to fill me in on every detail of her life. Probably the same with SabarayD.<br>
You know that old saw from Oprah or Dr. Phil: Best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.</p>
<p>On another note…
We were just invited to a wedding in June in Wellesley, MA. Attire is “elegant casual”. Now what the hell is that supposed to mean??
Any ideas? I really don’t want to start another thread…</p>
<p>I’m a lurker, sometimes poster, who frequently comes to this thread for sanity checks and information. I love the feeling here and the freedom of information. Thank you to all the regulars!!</p>
<p>My own boy is almost done with freshman year and it’s been a ride. He had a tough first semester because (as I found out here) he did the common thing of underestimating the amount of work he’d need to do and got caught up in the social aspect of things. That all changed second semester … until he <em>met someone</em>. He was flying high for a month until she broke it off saying she “didn’t have the time” for a relationship. He crashed big time and was down for two weeks. Now he’s back to normal and like everyone else, going crazy with rooming, course selection and summer job hunting.</p>
<p>I truly appreciate this thread. This year has been made easier by it.</p>
<p>Think summer wedding attire…silky, flowy dress for you and suit or pants and blazer for H. </p>
<p>Was at the MOA this weekend. D2 was called for a phone interview and now has an in person interview for yet another job. She wants another interview suit. Will be back looking today!</p>
<p>Let’s see. We know it’s not “INelegant casual” which lets out the wind shorts and flip flops. We know it’s not “elegant formal” which I guess lets out a ballgown. So there you have it - somewhere between wind shorts and a ballgown. Maybe a sundress (suitable for folks of our age and high heeled sandally shoes with no hose? Gorgous top with thin light colored slacks?</p>
<p>Woody, that’s true. Good reminders. I’m taking a deep breath. I just need to quit being a control freak, I guess. </p>
<p>I think part of it is lack of sleep- I live in Harrisonburg, home to James Madison University. JMU had their annual Springfest this past weekend, which is usually a peaceful block party. This year, thanks to the power of twitter and facebook, 8000 people flooded our town of 40,000- all to party. Ended with police from all over the state breaking up the “party” which had turned into a bottle throwing melee- really unfortunate. We had a helicopter circling our neighborhood all night Saturday into Sunday- tends to disrupt the sleep. Definitely not typical for JMU and disappointing as it was a Choices weekend.</p>
<p>I thought the college search was over, but not. Based on a suggestion from another thread, we’re now thinking seriously of sending Fang Jr to Landmark College’s summer visiting student program, a program for college students with ADD/executive function problems. (Does anyone here know someone who has gone to it?) </p>
<p>And then the fall, what? Probably he won’t be going back to his old school. Perhaps more community college. And then for 2011, back to his old college? Or transfer? We have to do college visits again, this time to close-by colleges.</p>
<p>OK I got it. I think I’ll wait for the sundress thing to happen at Lord and Taylor later this month. Thanks! (Invite specifically said no suits, no ties, no flannel. Groom is a young quant friend of my H’s. I really like him and am so glad for him as first wife had a significant substance abuse problem.)</p>
<p>Hey Sabaray - I take it that Choices weekends are for accepted students? If so, ouch!
Hi Sue - Glad S is back on track…it happens.
Thinking positive thoughts for Cardinal FangS, however, I can’t offer any info re: Landmark. It does sound like a good re-introduction to college life though</p>
<p>CardinalFang, I nominate you to start a new thread about the Landmark Summer program. Maybe if you just call it that and don’t elaborate, only the knowledgable/understanding folks will post, and the folks who don’t believe anyone has a problem with executive funtion will miss the thread!</p>
<p>I have heard great things about Landmark, but am not familiar with a summer program. But seriously? If it’s anything remotely like a boot camp for the executive function challenged or other things that fall within that line (teaching kids how to better advocate for themselves), I think it could be a very very good thing for a lot of kids. CF proves the rule that life is never a straight path.</p>
<p>My D has been asked to help with the coaching staff of an area lacrosse team. She played all through high school and part of her EC’s way back in 2003 was in the area of youth coaching/mentoring. She seems very excited since she actually knows the sport very well. I think it’s a great fit for her and helps with making connections in the community as well - all good things.</p>
<p>Elegant Casual. Guy - great shirt under a nice crisp blazer. Girl… flirty fun and dressy dress or floaty pants. Of course, I would have worded it Casual Elegance, but … you end up in the same department. I wish we had Lord and Taylor here. I know… the Mall of America can pretty much get you whatever you need, but Nordstrom’s isn’t what it used to be and I find Bloomingdales to be unhelpful always.</p>
<p>sabaray, I’m going to join you in the stressed out group. Woody’s calming words for you<br>
are exactly why we are worried over S2. He was always our difficult one in high school and college is proving to be no exception. I just got off the phone with him. He still hasn’t met with the right advisor so has a hold on his account and can’t register for classes tomorrow until that is lifted, which only happens if he meets with his advisor. Rather than MAKE AN APPOINTMENT he keeps dropping by and gets told the advisor is too busy to see him. All of my advice fell on deaf ears as he was ranting. Well, guess what, if he doesn’t get off his high horse and play by the rules soon, he is going to see some ugly natural consequences coming his way, like community college while living at home rather than hanging out in Morgantown this summer. In addition, he isn’t doing well in physics, which is of course entirely the professor’s fault, in his view. That child needs to do some serious growing up. I am trying to just become zen-like and let life unfold.</p>
<p>The last communication from S1 was a text message last night that high winds diverted his plane from landing where it should so he and about 12 other candidates were taking a long bus-ride to the interview where they expected to arrive about three hours later than initially planned. No word yet today. </p>
<p>I have a lot of silky, flowy pantsuits that I wear to afternoon cocktail parties at conferences that would probably fit that bill for elegant casual. My dresses tend to be either evening cocktail party/dinner attire (too formal) or daytime business/church (i.e. boring and stuffy). I did buy a dress for S1’s graduation that sounds like what folks are suggesting and in fact plan to wear it to a daytime wedding the following week-end, but that’s only because I think pants would be too informal. If I had something with casual in the invitation I would be all over the opportunity to go the pants ensemble route. </p>
<p>missypie, your concert sounds wonderful. I love to hear the good news stories.</p>
<p>H just texted…very unusual! He is taking the light rail to the Twins home opener! Says it is packed and there are no seats and the game doesn’t start until 3! Lots of excitement for the new outdoor stadium.</p>
<p>Cool Northminn! Last night, I bought some Yankee tickets for the kids for this summer. They are totally psyched. I don’t know what the prices are in Minn, but tickets for a Yankee game would just about wipe out their summer savings! After graduation next year, S wants to travel around US and attend a game in every stadium.
Sorry, theAnalyst. Trust me i was thinking the same thing about my own S. It all works out in the end, straight path or not.</p>
<p>sabaray, S1 had wanted to go to that JMU party, but didn’t because of his early flight on Sunday. It was drawing kids from all over the state, from what I was told. He told us the police used tear gas on students, so must have been pretty wild. We know several freshmen at JMU (friends of S2). I will have to ask their mom’s how their kids are doing.</p>
<p>Well, please know you have lots of “ohmm’s” that have your back. Following process and procedure is part of growing up, and soon he will get it that he isn’t an exception. You’re right about one thing, it will either get done or it won’t. And I am very much liking my seat in the camp that has absolutely nothing to do with the results. This way, it cannot be my fault! I am also learning that giving an opinion can also upend that seat so I’m not really going in that direction either.</p>
<p>The first day you can register for a summer school class at the big state U is tomorrow, but as a non-degree seeker, he needs a password to be allowed in the class. There are 25 open seats out of something like a total of 100 seats, which tells me that if he wants to register he had better get the code. I tried to tell him that he can register for the class and cancel it if it is determined he doesn’t have to take summer school, but to NOT register is to risk not getting in the class at all. Haven’t heard boo.</p>
<p>AnalystS1 was wise not to go. At least two kids were flown to UVA Med Center with serious head injuries and our local ED was flooded with other “minor” injuries, including one young man who was stabbed in the leg. Reports are one of the head trauma cases was thrown from a third floor balcony by his “friends”. It was a nightmare from the sounds of things.</p>
<p>sabaray, how awful and I agree, very out of character for JMU. </p>
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<p>Modadunn, this is exactly what he needs to learn. I think this is the first time he has something he really cares about. He desperately loves his school and wants to stay there, but if he doesn’t get his act together he is definitely putting that at risk. Nobody at WVU cares whether or not he can register for classes tomorrow or if he has to retake physics. He only hurts himself. We don’t particularly want this bundle of angry testosterone coming home this summer, so I guess he hurts us as well as himself, but if it happens we will make the best of it.</p>
<p>Analyst, it’s so difficult (well, at least it’s difficult for me) to figure out how much to intervene. People frequently advise that we leave our kids alone to make their own mistakes, but that only works if they learn from their mistakes not to make the same mistake next time. If your son fails to register for this class and doesn’t succeed in his physics classes, will those failures teach him to do the right thing next time? Has that strategy (of learning from his mistakes) worked in the past?</p>
<p>As usual you wise folks were right. I sent one of my nagging mom emails and got a very thorough response. Sounds as if all is going well enough. Met with her advisor, ready to register. Don’t know why I get so stressed. I just think sometimes she forgets the need to pace herself for the long haul. </p>
<p>CF, we’ll definitely be looking for a new school for S; he has a job lined up for the summer and will most likely be attending cc in the fall with the goal of transferring to a 4-year in January. He needs to work on his math and a cc will be a good place to do that. He did well in several courses at his prior school and hopefully will be able to transfer those credits. He thinks he wants to go out west.</p>