<p>Good Wife is repeat… so I am sticking with parenthood. :)</p>
<p>OK… I went to bat on that Bigtrees thread. I think he looks at it as sport so I will no longer engage. So so frustrating. Someone so singularly minded is my biggest pet peeve. Ugh.</p>
<p>I hope #tm is doing well. I know the frustration of non-communication with a kid who really should be communicating. As parents and as adults, we see so much potential, but even in holding up the mirror to our kid’s face, somethings they just have to see for themselves.</p>
<p>DTE, wouldn’t it be fun if this thread lasts through first jobs? First, they have to get the job and then they have to do the job. There will be at least as many adjustments as freshman year. I realize S1’s adventures don’t belong on this thread but those other threads out there are just too scary. </p>
<p>CountingDown, in addition to Siberia there are oil fields in Iraq where he would have the option to work. S is drawn to the adrenelin rush of dangerous situations (sorry he missed the JMU riots), but I was happy to hear he wasn’t attracted to Iraq even though that location does come with a big extra kick in pay. I think an off-shore rig in Brazil is good middle ground. He said the machinery is reportedly more complicated and prone to break at sites outside of the U.S. and Europe, so he thinks that makes the job more interesting. The firm has barracks for the employees when they are on-shore so housing is 100% covered. For the other job, he would presumably need to rent a place in Rio even though he wouldn’t spend much time there.</p>
<p>S1 said something about working a blood drive yesterday. Not sure how that went.</p>
<p>Have any of you been following the story of the 11 yr old autistic girl lost and found in the Florida swamp? GMA also did a small story on autism just now and interviwed the man who is head of the autism society.</p>
<p>It would be nice to stay in touch to see where our HS '09s end up!</p>
<p>Analyst, I enjoy hearing about S1’s adventures- I frequently share them with my D. Nice to have the perspective of a student about to graduate and move into the “real world”. </p>
<p>NM, I did see a story this morning on that young lady lost in the swamp- think it was an interview with the man who actually found her. Simply amazing. </p>
<p>Hard to believe that the school year is winding down. We have a bit of a gap before D’s apt is available- summer school will start and a week later she will be able to move in. I think she’s made arrangements to crash with friends for that week. At least I hope so.</p>
<p>I saw the interview on the *Today Show *with the guy who found the little girl in the swamp. Who knows? Maybe God did tell him where she was.</p>
<p>Interesting wrinkle with Son’s school. In the past, a student had to maintain a 3.0 to keep his merit aid. They’ve decided to lower the GPA requirement to 2.0 to reduce everyone’s stress levels in these economic times. (Sounds like they would have had a decent percentage of students leaving the school if they hadn’t done this.) It doesn’t change anything for us for the next year, but it does make me want to make sure that all the paperwork is filled out for a leave of absence, transfer of courses, etc. to keep the door open should he ever want to return. Who knows, maybe the lady in the Disabilities office will be replaced in the meantime…</p>
<p>sabaray…yes, they did interview the man who found her but later in the broadcast they interviewed the autism society guy. They talked about three cases of autistic kids who wandered off but were found several days later and if autisim helped these kids stay alive and unharmed because they didn’t panic.</p>
<p>D2 staying at school this weekend. I am surprised. Said she wants to get some work done that is due at the end of the semester. Hope it goes ok.</p>
<p>missypie…good news! Soundslike a good idea to be prepared.</p>
<p>That’s really interesting, NM. Keeping calm in a situation like that would definitely be a benefit. </p>
<p>Good plan to take care of crossing the t’s and dotting the i’s, missypie. We were very careful to do that for S as well. The school placed no conditions or restrictions on his return other than we must let them know by mid-May if he’ll be coming back this fall. Wanted to keep that option open but not looking real likely. </p>
<p>D’s advisor has put her in contact with a prof who is doing significant research in her area of interest. Unfortunately, no paid positions for undergrads but it would be a tremendous opportunity to work with a prominent/rising faculty member. H and I have discussed that forsaking a few $$ in the short term might be worth the professional opportunities in the future. Any parents with any thoughts on this?</p>
<p>I went to my second high school cheer booster club meeting last night (D is still in 8th grade but there is already extreme pressure to chair major fundraising events.) I am not exagerating when I say that going to those meetings is more stressful than anything I do in the practice of law…sterotypical over the top cheer moms, half of whom all talk at once. </p>
<p>As I’ve posted before, they do fundraising in the extreme. I saw the budget last night…they spend about $150 per girl on scrapbooks!!! I think it is immoral to try to raise money from other people so our Ds can have $150 scrapbooks. The drill team’s scrapbooks are coordinated by the girls and we each pay abour $30 per, out of pocket. How do you possible stop a moving train and survive?</p>
<p>Missy – I hate this stuff. With us, it was choir. I figured out that the entire choral music program was bringing in over $100K in ticket sales, sales of stuff, advertising in programs, and direct solicitation of funds from parents. So we had a platinum-plated music program amidst cuts in other areas. Custom made hardwood music shelves. Full lighting setup in the rehearsal room. And so on. And kids are of the belief that it is pay to play. I don’t think that was actually true, but I was still pretty annoyed.</p>
<p>With that much fundraising, it is “pay to play” in effect-- because many of the more well-off parents are just going to say, “Screw all this fundraising, I’m just going to write a check,” leaving the less wealthy parents with unrealistic fundraising goals.</p>
<p>Younger D is on an elite team that includes service/fundraising as part of the program. So… they might bag groceries at a grocery store, do clean up at a old folks home. Frankly, I don’t know what all it entails. This is a kid who volunteers for a couple of things that she truly loves - like helping special needs kids in a summer school program etc. I would LOVE to just write the check for the fundraising portion of some of these fees because of the time issue, but that’s not the point. They use the fees to cover their travel and fees to be in certain tournaments and not a fancy photo album (which I agree Missy, seems excessive especially when you can go on sites like Apple and make a really nice book for about 50 bucks. A mom made a soft cover one for the basketball season and I think it was 27 or 28 bucks a piece. Nice memento without being excessive). Still… I think it is a way to bond the team (as they do group activities to raise money vs selling candy bars) and to erase the line between those “with need” and those without. If everyone is expected to participate than no one stands out. The coach is very big on the leadership aspect of the team and so, I say nothing and am thankful that D16 can now drive herself to all that is expected of her.</p>
<p>One of the most disturbing things is that the cheer program is totally parent/teacher run. The moms plan the social events. The moms put together the scrapbook. The parents sell most of the stuff. The stated purpose of the group is strictly fundraising…not support of the girls’ fundraising. There is no community service aspect, no philanthropy committee…just sell raffle tickets, sell auction tickets, sell pansies, donate silent auction items, sell spiritwear. There are no social officers, no groups of girls who learn leadership and responsiblity by planning and carrying out events…just parents supporting lavish spending, turning their Ds into little princesses if they aren’t already.</p>
<p>Yes – our district offered to make cheer a competitive sport like baseball or soccer, but the students/families turned it down because then they’d be expected to use school purchased uniforms for several years and work within the school’s budget on coaching salaries,…</p>
<p>Missy - I honestly think you are in a unique position to change the culture slightly. As they say, baby steps. As silent auction items… group the girls to offer a service. Yard/garden clean up, servers at a cocktail party event mutually suitable date (my older D did this with a group of her friends her senior year over the Christmas season - they were booked as solid as they wanted to be), birthday party entertainers, etc. </p>
<p>Another good idea, one year the parents “underwrote” the football team. They worked in a food shelf - football players and heavy lifting is a good match - and we “paid” them for their service and the food shelf was happy to have the help. They also served dinner at a homeless shelter one time. In fact, parent underwriting for a good cause increases the take. When son was captain and I was paying the bills, so to speak, for that soup kitchen night? One parent offered a charge to match funds - a check for the team and a check for the charity. We raised over well over a grand even subtracting the one family who started the kitty with a grand of their own. For one evening of time. </p>
<p>End of the day, this approach actually fits two bills… they get their money as a team and they can use the community service/team building activities for their college applications. Our all-school fundraiser is coming up and for the first time the small singing groups are not offering up their entertainment for the silent auction. Now THAT was a fun Christmas party; we had out own private concert! But tell me this… who wants spiritwear beyond the team and their families themselves? Who are you selling to? I do think part of D’s team fundraising goes to cover their uniforms though. </p>
<p>The point is, with the hindsight of college applications, you can offer some unique and much needed perspective as what is important (you don’t really even have to mention the killing the princess mentality slightly even though it would serve to do that as well). But by instituting just one or two “service-like” activities, I think you create a win/win Of course, there is far more incentive if the girls are in HS, but the spring/summer before 9th grade is a good a time to start as ever. And basically, your looking at the long haul at this point. Obviously, this isn’t something you just stop doing – you’re looking at the next four years. Hard to believe you couldn’t use your persuasive charms to put a thought or two in their princess-promoting heads.</p>
<p>I think you’re right, Moda…I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to change the scrapbook, but I do think I can introduce an element of community service and perhaps a bit of student leadership into the group if I take it slowly. I just have to find a few strictly “cheer” moms who agree with me, otherwise I’ll be seen as trying to force the drill team culture on the cheerleaders. It’s interesting - the drill team girls have additional positions of leadership all over the school (so much that it is noticed by the student body.) The cheerleaders…not. Some girls are learning to be leaders and others are learning to be passive.</p>
<p>PS of course, there is a lot of coordinating involved and so those parents who get their jollies or for whom doing all this defines their social life or worse, themselves… they can still get this. In fact, if you “hired” the girls to be servers at a parent party, you’d actually get the dads involved! :)</p>
<p>PS Certainly you can find a few cheer moms to hop on board who would be up for a party!</p>
<p>I am so very glad to be done with HS sports fundraising! Going to be bad around here next year as all the education cuts take place, losing teachers, and increasing participation fees. They have already announced doing away with some middle school sports like football.</p>
<p>And that is why I find what the cheer boosters are doing so objectionable. Do they really need to compete at WDW *every *year? Must the scrapbooks be elaborate? The drill team coach begged and borrowed and traded costumes with other teams to keep our costs down in this economy. A tiny nod to frugality on behalf of the cheer boosters would be appreciated.</p>
<p>This is unconscionable. Missypie’s town’s fundraising girls go out, using social goodwill to raise money from well-meaning citizens who buy overpriced junk to support the team, and then blow $150 per girl on scrapbooks? Do the people who buy the whatever-it-is know their donations are going to $150 scrapbooks? Can’t those entitled little princesses and their over-the-top parents (not referring to you, of course, Missypie, since you see the absurdity) find a better use for the money than $150 scrapbooks? Like sending it to Haiti, or something?</p>
<p>When the budget item was questioned by one of the new freshman parents, the answer was “they’re really nice.”</p>
<p>Seems like the solution would be to 1) have students in charge instead of parents, 2) have two options using the same pictures: (a) the $35 version that the girls make/order using one of the online services, and (b) the $150 masterpiece that the outside company creates. Neither would be paid for by fundraising and the parents/girls could choose which one they want.</p>
<p>I mean, $400 purses are really nice, too, and I don’t mind at all if some parents buy them for their daughters. Just don’t require me to buy one for my D and don’t make me ask for money from others to pay for it.</p>