<p>Please don’t pay attention to anything we’re saying if you have a D on a forensics team. When the HS meets are held at our HS, virtually every girl has on a black skirt suit, white shirt, black or dark stockings and either black flats or low heeled pumps. I am amused that they think that is what female lawyers dress like…yeah we did…in 1986!</p>
<p>I have a facebook friend whose son is at the college national forensics meet. I just looked a picture of the team and every girl was wearing a suit of some color, with black or dark hose and black flats. Even the girls in light pink suits were wearing black hose and black flats.</p>
<p>Don’t miss forensics at all! I had forgotten about that. Coach took the girls shopping to select appropriate outfits. Couldn’t complain too much as the school paid. Not only hose were required- the correct type of shoe that didn’t make noise, hair had to be just so- so glad not to be dealing with that any longer.</p>
<p>And didn’t you always wonder what would happen if they didn’t wear the dark regulation suits? Do they give “appearance” points in forensics? I keep wondering what would happen at a cheer comptition if the girls didn’t wear those ridiculous huge bows…would a team really get deductions?</p>
<p>I can’t remember the scoring rubrics exactly but there are very defined rules for movement, etc.; part of the clothing selection was the noise factor. Scoring on the local level can be very subjective and yes, appearance is factored in. FWIW, our kids did well and were always state competitors. The coaches worked very hard with the kids-harder than many sports teams. This was their method and it worked so I wasn’t goign to argue over wearing a dark suit!</p>
<p>I don’t have a dog in the pantyhose race but teens don’t wear them from what I can see from ShawD’s friends.</p>
<p>Before I left for London, ShawD looked for a dress for their formal but didn’t find something. Then she said, “Dad, I found what looks to be a great dress for the formal at Forever 21 on the web. It’s only $20 and I can return it if it doesn’t look good. Can I charge it?” I said, “Sure” thinking that would be cheap but didn’t look at it. The dress arrived and she called me in London to tell me that she loved it. ShawWife returned from South Africa and said, “You said yes to that red dress? It looks fabulous on her but with high black heels, it accentuates all of the curves and says ‘Come get me’. That burqha you’ve been thinking about? It would be good right about now.” Ah well.</p>
<p>ShawSon is still sick but is recovering. We’re skyping as he wants to dictate some writing to me. I’m stuck in London and have more free time than usual. Am missing a meeting in Cambridge today and have one in Columbus, OH on Friday. There are worse places to be stuck.</p>
<p>I assume a girl wouldn’t be allowed to compete if she weren’t properly attired. I have seen that on the boy’s sports teams all the time–soccer cleats weren’t regulation black or whatever. </p>
<p>In the real world, I have seen girls sent home from work for not being properly dressed. In one case (early 1980’s), the girl was wearing a skort that was very full (looked like a skirt to me) and mid-calf length. She was sent home to change and lived in NJ, working in NYC! I doubt she got back to work much before late afternoon having missed all the commuter trains.</p>
<p>Well, the end of freshman year is fast approaching. My D took the road less traveled - she attends a suburban community college, honors program. She chose this route because she wasn’t sure she wanted to leave home. She’s ADD and still lacks maturity. Those of you who have had to bring their kids home this year have my heartfelt sympathy. That could have easily been us had she gone away.</p>
<p>So far, so good on the academic front - classes are good. I honestly can’t imagine classes being any better (more rigorous, more well run) at a regional state school. She’s had some truly great teachers, about half with PhDs, and on average I don’t think the flagship experience, with TAs for most undergrad classes like I had at the flagship, would have been an improvement. I suspect that many of her classes would be graded harder at the flagship, though not all. She’s taking a math/science track and her Calc II seems comparable to what I had many moons ago. So I’m not at all disappointed with the CC experience so far and, if the CC is located where they expect to have to prepare kids for decent colleges, I’d recommend it for kids lacking the maturity to do well away. That’s a big if, though, and I won’t know for sure this has all worked out until she transfers somewhere and finishes a degree. But I’m feeling better about it.</p>
<p>Treetopleaf, great update on the cc experience. </p>
<p>S2 just sent an email saying he was reading the paper before class and Playboy ranks the top ten party schools in the country as (1) UT-Austin (my school); (2) WVU (S2’s school); and (3) UW-Madison (H’s college). Not sure what that says about our family.</p>
<p>Treetopleaf, sounds like you made a good decision.</p>
<p>At this point I’m telling everyone that if your gut tells you your child isn’t ready to go to a 4 year school away from home, listen to it. I’ve changed no one’s mind…everyone says what I said a year ago, “I can’t tell him he can’t do it. We have to try.” But with that attempt has come a big loss of self esteem that will take a while to rebuild.</p>
<p>So I recently had a conversation with the parents of an '11 who wants to major in vocal performance…hope my face didn’t betray me as I thought “her?!” She’s nowhere near the best on her part in a small non-auditioned ensemble of which she is a member. She’s got her eye on some pretty exclusive auditioned programs, so if she sticks with those, she’ll get a dose of reality. </p>
<p>I remember having a converstation with a so-so singer who had been a vocal perfomance major at a large state U. It wasn’t until he was in grad school that the faculty leveled with him that he just didn’t have the goods.</p>
<p>But who knows, with all the autotuning, etc that they can do, the '11 that I know will probably become a big rock star!</p>
<p>Missy, if you particularly like the family, tell them your music school friends on CC told you to be sure that a) she’s been professionally assessed for ‘weak spots’ in junior year; b) she has the best private coach money can buy right now, as she should by now be prepping audition pieces weekly at a min. and c) to be sure to get practice lessons and visits in at the major schools of music right now BEFORE the audition cycle. Tell them to expect to narrow to a list of 10 programs and audition at at least 6-8 of them, and to expect just about all the school’s COAs to be 50k and change…and never to expect more than 10 k merit (the exceptions are virtuosos with super high stats)…and tell them to save an extra $8k or more to cover TME for auditions. Then see if they blanch. If they don’t, they’ll be well prepared. If they do, there is time to redirect their efforts.
If she’s never won a regional award, attended a prestigious summer camp like Interlochen, or had extensive private coaching by a strong teacher, she will have a very heartbreaking year ahead, at least at the schools worth attending, IMHO.</p>
<p>I don’t know if I would have listened to that advice, but no one gave it to me. In fact, everyone was telling me the opposite: Oh, all boys are a little immature, kids step up in college, you need to stop doing everything for him, your son is so sweet and bright he’ll be fine. That was bad, bad advice, and I got it from everyone including his college. I should have followed my instincts.</p>
<p>So, Aspergers parents: FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS. Don’t listen to the parents of neurotypicals, and don’t listen to the people at your child’s college unless you are sure they have successful experience with Asperger students.</p>
<p>kmc, not that this applies to missypie’s friends’ unexceptional daughter, but can’t wonderfully talented singers come out of unheralded schools? I’m thinking about some kid from the middle of nowhere who has tons of talent and a great high school music teacher. Couldn’t that work?</p>
<p>Most of my friends in college (a large state U) were theatre majors and because my H sings professionally, I also know a lot of singers. The sad thing is that anyone can find *some program *that will take them. Of course, a college degree in anything is never a waste, but it’s so hard when you see the kids who aren’t even the most talented fish in their high school pond thinking they’re going to make a career of it. </p>
<p>Last summer my Ds and I went to NY and saw 6 Broadway shows in 4 days. I was blown away by the amount of talent that was out there - folks with fabulous voices in tiny roles; seemingly everyone a “triple threat.” I thought of our high school’s recent “super stars” and realized they simply didn’t have the talent to compete at that level.</p>
<p>Of course, who’s to say? Lots of “singers” that I hear on the radio sure can’t sing.</p>
<p>Of course. LOL, Johnny Depp grew up in Owensboro, Kentucky, for goodness sake. (I always laugh at that one just because my mom grew up near there.) My high school “class clown” came from very humble surroundings, dropped out of college, has had a major role on Broadway and makes a very nice living in standup comedy. BUT, she was outstanding in high school and no one is really surprised that she’s a success, even though she had no pedigree or connections. </p>
<p>I think that talent will rise to the top. I think that if an auditioning senior has a fabulous voice, but her aria in a foreign language shows that she hasn’t been taught in that area, there is probably a program somewhere that will take a chance on her. </p>
<p>But there are also lots of kids who were average in their art in high school and don’t have that spark to make it. Kind of like me not wanting to tell my kid he probably wouldn’t make it college, what parent wants to tell their D that her voice isn’t all that good?</p>
<p>CardinalFang, I’m trying to figure out how I can use what I know to help others. I would love to be able to get in front of the school GCs and psychologists. It’s so hard for one parent with the experience of one child to have any crediblity…I have nothing but andecotal evidence that his experience applies to anyone else…Who’s to say he didn’t succeed because “all boys are a little immature, he just didn’t step up enough in college, you probably caused it because you did everything for him.” We need some respected researcher to do a study…</p>
<p>“isn’t it just the tummy control and lack of panty lines we’re looking for?” No, no! I want it ALL!!
Shawbridge - D loves Forever21 although I drive her crazy by mistakenly calling Century21, oh well. Best thing about it is that it is so cheap that she can buy fairly au courant this year and toss it/give it away next year if it’s not the look.</p>
<p>Treetopleaf - Sounds great to me. Will she stay in CC for another year or is she making the transition this fall?</p>