Parents of the HS Class of 2009 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
10001

<p>She’ll stay for next year. She could finish w/an assoc. spring of next year, if she takes a heavy load the last semester. Since she won’t commit to going away for the final 2 years yet, I’ve spoken with her about taking 2 1/2 years to get the assoc. and taking more fun stuff just for the heck of it. She’ll take mythology next semester, for example, even though it might end up being a wasted credit. She loves classical mythology, so I let her go ahead and sign up.</p>

<p>The whole scheduling business has been far more difficult than I expected, but that’s in part because she signed up to take an uncommon foreign language that they offer once per term, plus taking 4/5 hour credit courses that take up prime mid-day scheduling time. Plus she’s taking an honors course per term, of which they schedule only a few of interest. So it may turn out that she has to take an extra semester in order to get an honors degree. Or maybe she’ll forgo that. LOL. stay tuned.</p>

10002

<p>Sounds great! Good for her!
I was a classics major and loved it. Ovid, Aristophanes, Sophocles, Euripides - so much fun. (Unfortunately, I didn’t know how to parlay that into a paying job and went to nursing school-which I also love. Guess I’ve been lucky…)
In any event, my kids had really interesting bedtime stories!</p>

10003

<p>finally heard from S today after texting him to ask if he was OK. Had not heard from him in several weeks. No answers to any of my e-mails
We chatted a little while. He still loves school but is considering dropping CS as one of his majors and just minoring in it. Or just majoring in math and forget the CS.
Personally, I think he should do whatever he thinks he can accomplish.
And math majors generally have a good chance of employment. If he can manage to fulfill the classes for a CS minor (I think he only needs a few more courses) he should be in good shape for a job after college, but I told him not to think about that (getting a job)right now. I am not sure what his grades will tell us, but he seems to think he is on track - though I have heard that before - and I swear he is genuinely surprised when he does not do well, some kind of disconnect there.
Anyway, I was glad to talk to him and to try to encourage him to acknowledge the thing that really speaks to him and to concentrate on it. Most kids could take this time to learn new things, discover new passions, but not mine. He has been a mathematician since he was in preschool doing long division for fun. He has exactly 2 things he has a passion for (well 3 if you count computer games) math and singing. Not sure how he will make it through the humanities and writing requirements, but one day at a time I guess.
I wish I could stop worrying…sigh</p>

10004

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<p>D is working as a software design engineer, having majored in physics and taken 3 computer classes in college. So, yeah, he’ll be in good shape…</p>

10005

<p>CF -

. Of course they can, and that will show at an audition, and it will trump all else. (Although not a singer, my son is one of those outlier kids that got into a very competitive program at a music school despite a comparative late start and comparative lack of pre-professional resources/opportunities.) But they will still have to do all those things to apply to the top tier of performing arts schools, and many families just aren’t ready for it, or make the assumption that a school is looking only for potential and ignore the fact there is in optimal cases already a basis for professional training, which is what a BMUS is. It’s also a really good way to actually assess whether or not the student is sufficiently talented/developed/committed/passionate-about-her-avocation for music school. My hope was that by sharing that with the parents, they would discover that a singer who is not even competitive within her own school is wholly unprepared to achieve anything meaningful with a performance degree – if in fact she can get one. Lots of kids decide that’s what they’re going to do, don’t apply to (academic) safeties, and then find themselves taking a gap year. This way, the family would at least be ready for what many consider to be a doubly daunting application process (compared with regular college selection) due to the travel component and audition preparation and highly unpredictable outcome.</p>

<p>All the foregoing said, I believe that a great music teacher at a unheralded school would immediately identify viable ‘standout’ talent and tell/urge the student and the family of the need to hire a professional teacher outside of class to refine technique. My son’s did – by 9th grade, and I didn’t listen to him. I wish I had, but it all worked out in the end.</p>

10006

<p>Woody… my S loves the classics. He started in Latin in 8th grade and went all the way through both AP’s. He’s taking a classics class now and is, in his words, “owning” discussion because a lot of what they’re reading in English, he’s already read in Latin. It’s on a deeper level than what he did in HS, but the themes are similar. All that Latin however had really helped him in Anatomy and in any kind of literature class as well. So, while it will never be his major, it is a foundation that will serve him well I think. </p>

<p>As for singing… my children inherited their father’s genes in this regard and neither of the younger two can carry much of a tune. Thankfully for them, they’ve never “had” to sing for a grade. As the kids say, it would be an epic fail for sure.</p>

<p>Sister arrives today to catch a few of younger D’s games this week. Hopefully we’ll have nice weather the rest of the week. Nothing worse than watching sporting events in the rain and wind of the upper midwest spring.</p>

10007

<p>Son’s new psychologist wants to see a copy of his initial work up before she tests him, so I got out a copy and read the whole thing for the first time in years before sending it on. A couple of things stood out, the first that I’ve always remembered - boy does that kid have a lopsided brain!. In 4th grade his reading comprehension was at the “>12.9th” grade level. His spatial motor skills were barely at the 3rd grade level. </p>

<p>But here’s the bad parent part. The report suggest accommodations that we never got for him, not even in the first year after his diagnosis. The school district didn’t offer the accomodations and we didn’t fight for them. For example, he’s never had extended time on anything, and there it was in black and white that he should have it.</p>

<p>We were so worried about the social aspects…I mean, when your kid gets As and Bs and has no friends, the having friends part is a lot more important than having straight As. He did get some helpful social training by the school psychologist way back when. But I am puzzled at why we didn’t insist on all of the accommodations that the psychologist initially recommended.</p>

10008

<p>Missy… while you will never know for sure, if your public school was anything like ours, the odds are that with a kid who got A’s and B’s without extended time, they probably would not have accommodated the extra time anyway. Of course, you’ll never know for sure, but that he could read like he could probably helped him in HS. However, whatever he does next year, I’d ask for the extended time - especially when it comes to college level work.</p>

10009

<p>I know for a fact that his SAT essay grade would have higher if he’d had extra time, because the physical act of handwriting takes him forever and he said he just didn’t have time to write down all that was in his head. But with that said, he got a 700 on the writing part, so what did he need it to be higher for?</p>

<p>Accommodations might have got him higher SATs and higher grades in high school, but what would that have done? Gotten him into an even more selective school from which he would also be withdrawing in a month!</p>

10010

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<p>So you knew what you were doing all along, missypie! No bad parenting here as far as I can tell ;)</p>

<p>I routinely try to convince myself that what I consider in hindsight to have been bad parenting, was really me doing the best I could at the time. That logic works most of the time. (D1 keeps a running list of “bad mommy” moments - most of them pretty funny and none of them did lasting damage as far as I can tell - only her future therapist will know for sure!)</p>

<p>I did some research on the hose/no hose debate yesterday, but no conclusive results. Meeting of 14 women ages mid 30s to late 60s, pretty evenly divided between hose and no hose, whether with pants or skirts. I came to the same conclusion as Modadunn - when I go hose-less it’s the tummy control and no panty lines I miss most :(</p>

10011

<p>Yesterday when leaving work I rode down in the elevator with a woman who was probably 25 years od, black skirt suit, black hose, black pumps. I SO wanted to ask her if she was in the building for a job intervew!</p>

10012

<p>well… unless he had been granted extended time all throughout HS, the odds of his getting extended time on standardized tests would have been pretty small… and you’re right… what good is it to be in an even more competitive environment except to perhaps suggest there would have been the possibility of his having more choice in which to analyze the student support services. Then again, as you’ve learned, even those that suggest they have a good student support program in place doesn’t mean they actually follow thru with those supports. Hindsight is often 20/20, but the bottom line is, you often don’t know until you’re in the thick of it. </p>

<p>And speaking of which… I feel for the uncertainty of #TM and son. However, while worry is a constant state for most parents, there really isn’t much that can be done until the final grades are in. There is nothing to be gained or lost at this point in the semester, is there? He’s either going to do it or he’s not. He is capable. And I honestly think the best and only thing to offer the kid is encouragement that even though there will be tough days and deadlines ahead, he can do it. I actually got son a bunch of those cards that just have some quote on the front with nothing on the inside. I am sending one every couple of days… adding a $10 spot just to “treat” himself to a coffee or snack (but not enough to buy a keg or something :slight_smile: ).</p>

<p>I am still at a loss at how he’s getting back home come end of term, there has been no discussion of what he’s doing or planning on doing with all his crap at the end of the year. He has all his clothes at school (that he’d actually wear), both winter and summer and I have this vision of overflowing crap - posters, fridge, fan, etc that he will have to deal with. No insight into storage options, etc. We’re less than a month out. If he’s flying, I have to book a flight and if I am driving out there, I have to make a plan to get there! Ugh!</p>

<p>I did, however, buy a new shelving thing at Ikea for his room - trying to reign in the disorganization - and noted that his closet contains notebooks etc from four years of high school. Does he keep those things? Would he even know where to look if he wanted something? Then there are the textbooks that by their sheer weight are starting to bow the shelving. Being in a private school where they buy their books, what does one do with the pounds of HS bio and chem books? How about a US History text book that the school no longer uses? D16 isn’t in the same tract as he was and so it’s not as if she can use them either. So here’s a question… what’s a cost efficient way for me to get rid of all these books without throwing them out? Are there groups out there that take used text books? I just can’t imagine throwing any books away.</p>

10013

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My S has the same disconnect.</p>

10014

<p>Back in middle school we had S tested for his reading speed/comprehension. Both were below what they should have been. He was in a private school at the time, and they did the evaluation and the admin said he would be allowed more time on tests. (We also started having him meet with a reading specialist, which really helped.) The problem? Out of all his teachers in various subjects, only 1 ever gave him the extra time he was supposed to get. The others just blew off the directive. At my request, S asked those teachers about it the first time, they said no, and that was that. S refused to let me complain to the admin. He did get extra time on the standardized test he had to take for prep school admission, though, which is where he really needed it. S seemed to get up to speed in HS, so we didn’t pursue things there. He still doesn’t enjoy reading books for pleasure, but he’s doing well in school.</p>

10015

<p>Back from business trip and a quick visit to D2 coming to the end of her first year!! I can’t catch up on everything, but here are the really important items</p>

<p>** Hose!! ** D1 is getting married in July (SoCal). Would you wear hose? I feel like I should… My dress will probably be slightly below the knee. What about D2 who is the one and only bridesmaid; her dress is just about knee length? </p>

<p>** Rollercoaster! ** What a rollercoaster the last two weeks! </p>

<p>After spending hours working on a constitution, club budget, and proposal to present to the Student Government for some funding, D1 got turned down. She was crushed.</p>

<p>She got closed out of almost every dorm she wanted (low number in the lottery), and although she and her roommate did get a room, it’s not ideal.</p>

<p>Then, GOOD NEWS – she got word that she had a summer internship (paid research!! living at home!!) at a prestigious local biomedical/cancer center (50 out of 900 kids were chosen). This was terrific; even more so because one of the researchers there contacted her expressing interest in having her join their lab. But in a phone conversation, it became clear that the researcher expected her to already have experience (even though the applications clearly say, none needed, since this is a kind of “introduction to biomedical research” program). The conversation ended with the researcher uninviting her …</p>

<p>Daughter was really crushed. </p>

<p>Luckily, H and I were there over the weekend; coaxed her to send some emails to other researchers; and got a super nice/terrific response from one of them saying, don’t worry about experience! Come join us! D elated again.</p>

<p>Up, down, up, down … It’s a bit exhausting.</p>

<p>Do let me know about the hose …</p>

10016

<p>So your D was so special that the guy in charge called her which led to her being uninvited…boy that’s just wrong!</p>

<p>As for hose to the wedding…I’d only skip them if it was an outdoor/garden/beach kind of wedding. Otherwise, look for something super-sheer and shimmery (not the think “sheer energy” things I used to wear to work.) I think department stores still have “dressy” hose but I admit that I haven’t looked in years.</p>

10017

<p>I vote no on the hose in southern california.</p>

<p>Disinvited? I would be crushed as well! But it’s true what they say… door closed and someone else opened a window!</p>

<p>Son announced to me today that on top of a molecular bio and biochem major, he is going to joint major in Studio Art! I would be lying to say I didn’t see this coming, but I am also trying to get him to see some options that he can pursue his creative flair as well as not be completely hemmed in academically.</p>

10018

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<p>Does that mean that you now foresee paying for a 5th year, like some of the rest of us?</p>

10019

<p>Actually, Moda, I think that’s a great idea. I can’t recall where but I’ve seen some fantastic art pieces based upon “science”. Sounds like fun. </p>

<p>Zetesis, that researcher is a prize jerk. Good for your D to bounce back and I’m sure the first researcher will realize his loss down the road. </p>

<p>And in California in the summer, I wouldn’t wear hose.</p>

10020

<p>Yeah, we thought the first researcher seemed somehow unaware of how this program was advertised. </p>

<p>No hose in the summer? Bet the Groom’s mom (from Illinois) will have them on; of course, she already has her dress too! The wedding in the church (late afternoon); reception outside afterwards … I like “super sheer and summery …”</p>